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Europe
Satire: French Terror Alert Raised From ’Arrogant’ to ’Be Humble’
2004-03-18
Farce - hat tip: JWarrior - LGF Commenter
World News TheDailyFarce.com - Marcelo Lewin
A letter from an Islamic group calling themselves the ’Servants of Allah the Powerful and Wise’ threatening France of an improbable terrorist attack, was received by the French Interior Minister, Jack Puppon. "It is with great displeasure that I announce that this letter is in my possession." Stated Jack Puppon, "We are working closely with United States intelligence agencies to see if this is a real group and to asses the probability of an actual attack by them." The letter states that France was incorrect in banning headscarves in their state run schools. The minister of the interior released the letter’s content.
Dear Arrogant People,
Let us introduce ourselves. We are the Servants Of Allah the Powerful and Wise. For more information on our thoughts and believes, please do visit our web site located at http://www.theservantsofallahthepowerfulandwise.net (We tried to get ’.com’ but it was already taken by some other Islamic organization. Please don’t confuse us with them, they do nice things, we don’t.)

Now on to the main reason for this letter. How dare you ban headscarves from your schools! We don’t agree with this. Because of this, we wish you one million years of bad luck, 10,000 monkeys in your stomach, 2,000 shoes on your face and brace yourself for the greatest attack on your country ever!

This letter is a warning. Either remove that silly law or face the wrath of SOATPAW (sorry too long to write out, I’m in a hurry).

Nonetheless, you have 48 hours to change this stupid law.

Sincerely,
The entire team at SOATPAW
webmaster@theservantsofallahthepowerfulandwise.net
French President Chirac announced that their terror alert system would be raised 2 notches, from ’OK TO BE ARROGANT’ to ’BE HUMBLE’.

"We raised the level just in case." Stated President Chirac, "We must not act arrogantly at times like these. We may soon have to start saying nice things about the United States just in case we do get attacked and require their help in saving our behind yet one more time." The terror alert will remain at ’BE HUMBLE’ for at least another 2 weeks. If the threat is found to be invalid, then everyone in France will be able to go back to being arrogant again.
Click the link and check out the French Terror Advisory System...
Posted by:.com

#5  I don't know...the whole thing is pretty unfunny. They're trying too hard, or something. Everyone and his dog wants to be The Onion these days, and very very few have the insight on what it takes to make funny satire.
Posted by: gromky   2004-3-18 8:54:17 PM  

#4  "If we receive credible intellegence that an attack is imminent, the terror alert will be raised to bend over"
Posted by: Michael   2004-3-18 1:25:35 PM  

#3  Darn straight!
Posted by: David Pruitt   2004-3-18 10:14:57 AM  

#2  That is hilarious! They should put that chart on a t-shirt.
Posted by: Dar   2004-3-18 9:49:16 AM  

#1  Yes, the French Terror Advisory System is funny. Go see it.
Posted by: Mike Sylwester   2004-3-18 8:35:41 AM  

00:00