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| -Short Attention Span Theater- |
| Kangaroo pummels woman in kick frenzy |
| 2004-03-17 |
| "He had so much hate in his eyes." That’s what 48-year-old Sylvia Aldren said after being pummeled and flayed by a kangaroo in the Australian state of Queensland. "I can still see his big, beady eyes, like you see in a Martian video," she told the Brisbane Courier-Mail. Aldren, from the town of Burpengary, suffered a large puncture wound on her neck as well as claw marks all over her body from today’s frenzied attack. "My nightie was covered in blood and there are paw marks on the back of it," she told the paper. "I thought I was going to die." There is a picture at the link, but I don’t recommend it unless you were allured the gym instructor in Porky’s. For the rest, just imagine that she is a Victoria’s Secret model. She says was picking flowers in her garden before hearing a noise and suddenly feeling claws tearing into the back of her neck. "I fell down on my front, it happened so quick, and I got up to hold the bucket out in front of me," she said. Sylvia Aldren displays her kangaroo wounds (courtesy Brisbane Courier-Mail) - thanks, I for exorcizing attacking kangeroos from my nightmare dance card. I shan’t sleep a wink tonight. Isn’t she in the cast of Drew Carey? "It kicked the bucket out of my hand and I grabbed [his paw] to stop him, but he got on his tail and started kicking me – he was taller than me on his hind legs. I tried to get up four or five times but he kept kicking me over. He also bit my hand." He wanted you to put the bucket over your face. Family and friends reportedly watched in horror as the kangaroo repeatedly pelted Aldren in the back as she tried to escape. The animal finally jumped away when neighbors got close. "I always thought they were cute animals, [but] now I want them culled," Aldren said, according to the report. Ironically, she works for attorneys who specialize in personal-injury cases. "But what am I going to do?" Aldren asks. "Sue a kangaroo?" |
| Posted by:Super Hose |