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| China-Japan-Koreas |
| News Flash! North Korea Invents Grass! |
| 2004-03-16 |
| The Institute of City Management of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea has bred a new species of turf. It, a variety of the short golden turf, is very popular among people. Yumm, tasty! It grows only 6 centimeters so that it does not need to be cut. The new species spreads its stalks and leaves more than four times as fast as other species of the golden turf. With nodes shorter than other species by a half, the new species strikes so many roots to cover the soil and thus prevents soil from being washed away by rain. Its thick leaves keep the soil moist, so they remain green even in the dry season. And it comes back to life easily. The color of the turf and its seed is light green, which resembles a green carpet. The color remains unchanged by November. Be great for all those North Korean golf courses, if they had any. The turf has been planted on Yanggak Islet and in different parts of Pyongyang. Lunch is now being served. |
| Posted by:Steve |
| #11 Super grass! Super rocks! Super dirt! Can anything stop these amazing people?! |
| Posted by: tu3031 2004-3-16 9:43:43 PM |
| #10 The NorKs have got to have something to sell, now that the bottom has dropped out of the ballistic-missile market. The Muslims take a very dim view of their populations using white slag. |
| Posted by: Pappy 2004-3-16 7:36:34 PM |
| #9 The proud inventor was recently overheard: "It's a combination of Pyongyang Blue, featherbed bent, and Northern Korean Sensimean. You can play 18 holes on it during the day, and get stoned to the Bejesus belt on this stuff dat night." - Kim Young Spagler, DPRK |
| Posted by: eLarson 2004-3-16 5:09:04 PM |
| #8 OP: My friend you need Zoysia Grass! Look for the great big yellow ad in Parade and other fine periodicals. LOL. I used to edit (seriously) a magazine which relied on Zoysia Grass! for 15% of its ad revenue. It was much fun. PS remember to ask for the grass installer. (Broom handle with a nail) |
| Posted by: Shipman 2004-3-16 4:36:22 PM |
| #7 Hmm..I wonder what sort of tree bark gets served with this new grass. Something light like Birch or more robust like Oak? |
| Posted by: JerseyMike 2004-3-16 3:05:23 PM |
| #6 Frankly, after five years of drought and water bills that take a healthy chunk out of my paycheck, I'm looking for any type of grass that will grow in crappy, mostly-sand soil, needs little water, and is a color other than mud brown. Oh, and it has to be able to withstand temperatures ranging from -30F to over +100F, survive on 15 inches of moisture a year (or less), and capable of surviving in air about 30% thinner than sea level... and be cheap to buy! If Kimmie baby's grass will do that, I've got enough concerned neighbors to take out the NKor government. I wouldn't pay this POS anything for anything, but I'm not averse to stealing from them. NKor would be toast! |
| Posted by: Old Patriot 2004-3-16 1:24:59 PM |
| #5 Why should they grow food? The NGOs are more then happy to feed their starving people so that Kimmie-boy can have his army of thugs. |
| Posted by: CrazyFool 2004-3-16 11:55:11 AM |
| #4 they can grow grass but not food? |
| Posted by: smokeysinse 2004-3-16 11:47:38 AM |
| #3 they can grow grass but not food? |
| Posted by: smokeysinse 2004-3-16 11:47:19 AM |
| #2 Ha HA HA fucking excellent laugh, the hight of Nork science,can't stop laughing. Like something from a bad comedy sketch,well a good one actually |
| Posted by: Jon Shep U.K 2004-3-16 11:30:10 AM |
| #1 Umm, I think he's describing crabgrass. |
| Posted by: 11A5S 2004-3-16 11:19:10 AM |