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Afghanistan/South Asia
Wanted Waziris refuse to surrender
2004-03-15
On a day when the tribal lashkar expressed its helplessness in apprehending tribesmen accused of sheltering al-Qaeda and Taliban suspects in South Waziristan, the most wanted among them said he has no intention of surrendering to the government.
"I ain't comin' in!"
"I and the other wanted tribesmen cannot surrender because we don’t expect justice from the authorities. Besides the government has already condemned and punished us by demolishing our homes," declared Nek Mohammad in a phone call from an undisclosed location.
"Whatever happened to being innocent til proven guilty, anyways?"
"That only applies in civilized countries, Nek."
"Oh."
Nek Mohammad, who belongs to the Yargulkhel clan of the Zalikhel sub-tribe of the Judean Peoples Front Ahmadzai Wazirs, said he had never indulged in anti-state activity. "We haven’t done anything against our homeland and we cannot imagine harming Pakistan. All charges against me and my fellow tribesmen are unsubstantiated and based on hearsay," he stressed.
"Lies! All lies!"
Nek Mohammad, along with Haji Sharif, Maulvi Abbas, Nur Islam and Maulvi Aziz, are on top of the government’s wanted list. As they are all Zalikhels, their sub-tribe came under tremendous pressure from South Waziristan’s political administration to form an armed posse lashkar and string the five men up on the nearest tree force the five men to surrender. The posse lashkar was finally raised on Saturday but a day later it appeared that capturing Nek Mohammad and the others wasn’t going to be easy.
"Yeah, we knocked, but somebody said they wudn't there. So we left."
A 10-member hanging committee that was sent by the lashkar to negotiate with the desparados wanted men to tell 'em that the jig was up and seek their surrender failed to make any progress and sought til sundown more time to hang 'em high accomplish the mission when it met Rahmatullah "Festus" Wazir, assistant marshall political agent, in Dodge Wana town on Sunday. The government may not oblige the committee. The 24-hour deadline given to the lashkar to present the wanted men to the political administration is due to expire Monday morning. The government has already threatened to resume military operations to nab the wanted men in case the tribal jirga and lashkar finds itself unable to do the needful.
Uh-oh, you got Marshall Dillon mad at yas now.
According to the Zalikhel tribal elders, Nek Mohammad and the other wanted tribesmen are out riding the Badlands untraceable. They said the five men have headed for the hills gone underground and could now be hiding across the Rio Grande Durand Line border in Mexico Afghanistan. Nek Mohammad, however, opted to emerge from hiding for some time on Sunday to send a telegram make the phone call to tell his side of the story. "We wanted to negotiate with the government through our mouthpiece elders and tribal MNAs. We sought guarantees of justice but were asked to git our hands up surrender unconditionally," he explained. "Where is the evidence that I or the others gave refuge to them Injuns al-Qaeda and Taliban members? Why don’t they name the likkir agents non-Pakistanis we had sheltered?" he questioned.
"Youse got nuttin' on me, coppers! Nuttin', I tells yez!"
As if to highlight the clumsy handling of the situation by the authorities, Nek Mohammad narrated a hitherto untold story. "You know how the story of the capture of Dr Ayman al-Zawahiri’s son evolved. The Pakistan Army arrested one Ashraf Khan, son of Abdullah Khan, along with other innocent villagers during its latest operation in South Waziristan. As Ashraf is mentally ill, he told his interrogators that he was Khalid al-Zawahiri, son of al-Qaeda leader Dr Ayman al-Zawahiri. And soon the word spread that Dr al-Zawahiri’s son has been captured."
"But it wudn't really Khalid, it was Ashraf. Trust me on that."
Nek Mohammad dismissed the lashkar formed by his Zalikhel sub-tribe and said it cannot succeed because it was raised at the behest of the government. "We enjoy the support of majority of our tribe. There is no real backing for the lashkar or the tribal elders who are pro-government," he maintained. He also said that the government by demolishing their homes had already initiated strong punitive measures against them. "The government has demolished 14 homes in South Waziristan and rendered our families homeless. What else does it want to do punish us?" he asked.
That's obvious -- hang you from the nearest tree.
Posted by:Dan Darling

#5  insite on dr horriday were purdy sharp
Posted by: muck4doo   2004-3-15 7:53:14 PM  

#4  Shoot out at the Al-Qa Corral.

Dan - that was a hilarious read. Thanks.

Posted by: B   2004-3-15 1:15:30 PM  

#3  Sounds like the Waziris need to be given a lesson in modern warfare. One BUFF full of iron bombs, one drop on their valley. Fly the BUFF at max altitude so you don't have any sound or a contrail to indicate there's an aircraft in the area. The only warning is all hell breaking loose where the bombs land. I'm sure even the Waziris aren't immune to several tens of thousands of pounds of high explosives going off in their neighborhood. Things like that have a habit of changing underwearminds.
Posted by: Old Patriot   2004-3-15 11:53:25 AM  

#2  "The government may not oblige the committee."

Be interesting to see if the committee members throw their stars on the ground after they shoot Nek Mohammad dead.

Funny as all get out and too true too, if they just weren't so close to nukes.
Posted by: Mr. Davis   2004-3-15 11:47:53 AM  

#1  I don't buy the helpless of his tribesmen to bring him in. Demolishing his house was a good start, but there must be a step two and three ... to the program of negative reinforcement. When fido repeatedly takes a dump on he carpet, you don't just live with the results after whacking him with the rolled up paper one time.
Posted by: Super Hose   2004-3-15 4:56:54 AM  

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