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Terror Networks
PLF: Abbas assassinated
2004-03-10
al-Reuters. Hat tip LGF. EFL.
Followers of Mohammed Abbas, the Palestinian mastermind of the Achille Lauro cruise ship hijacking in 1985, blamed the United States and Israel on Wednesday for his death in U.S. custody in Iraq.
I confess! I dunnit! I shot him and threw him off the roof of the calaboose into the pool!
Captured by American forces in Iraq nearly a year ago, the U.S. military in Baghdad confirmed the death of Abbas, 56. One U.S. official said the burly former guerrilla died of a heart attack Tuesday.
Yep. Overfed, underexercised. There went the old arteries, chock full of butter and lard, grease, traces of turpentine...
"We hold the Americans responsible for his death, for his assassination," said Omar Shebli, number two to Abbas in the Palestine Liberation Front (PLF).
"You can’t say my lips fell off because I said ’we hold.’"
"They put him to die slowly in a prison cell, deprived of his freedom. His detention was illegal and his conditions in jail were bad," Shebli told Reuters in the Gaza Strip.
Right before his harp broke a string
Yar! We kep' 'im in a dank, smelly dungeon! There wuz rats scamperin' acrosst 'im ever' night! An' we only did it cuz we're mean!
He also accused Israel’s Mossad intelligence agency of helping U.S. forces "torture" Abbas, saying that Abbas had sent word to supporters that: "Mossad officers, Jewish officers, participated in the interrogation."
Oh, heavens! Not Jewish officers! Oh, Ethel! My pills!
Abbas, also known as "Abu Abbas," planned the hijacking of the Italian cruise liner Achille Lauro in October 1985 during which a wheel-chair bound American Jew, 69-year-old Leon Klinghoffer, was killed and thrown into the sea.
That was Abu's contribution to the world. His Mom used to sit on the front porch of the old folks' home, telling her envious friends what a dangerous fellow her boy was. Until he shot her, anyway...
Abbas, who was not aboard the ship during an operation that embarrassed Yasser Arafat’s Palestine Liberation and Jew Extermination Organization spent most of the past 17 years in Iraq, eluding capture by the United States and Italy. Italy freed Abbas after U.S. warplanes forced his jet to land in Sicily following the hijack, although it later sentenced him -- when he had already left -- to life in jail.
Boy, that did a lot of good, didn't it? Kinda points out the contrast between treating terrorism is a matter for the cops and the courts on the one hand, and as a matter for the Marines on the other.
Posted by:Steve from Relto

#5  They have rabinical dispensation to work on Saturday Tu.
Posted by: Shipman   2004-3-10 5:51:18 PM  

#4  Damn, those Mossad guy's are busy bastards...
Posted by: tu3031   2004-3-10 4:09:58 PM  

#3  We hold the Americans responsible for his death, for his assassination,"
What??? A Palestinian group attacking the AMERICANS??? Say it ain't so, Ethyl!
"They put him to die slowly in a prison cell, deprived of his freedom."
"We deny this most vehemently," an American spokesman was noted as saying. "We put him to live slowly in a prison cell, so he could enjoy every minute of his freedom from responsibility. After all, the pressure of killing people, day after day, for months at a time, is excruciating. Even terrorists need a vacation once in awhile."
"...His detention was illegal and his conditions in jail were bad,"
"How can you possibly say that? We provided him with MacDonald's three times a day, biggie-sized, and broadcast Moby constantly into his cell, 24/7. What else could he want? We even provided him magazines - even girlie magazines. Unfortunately, the only ones we could get were written in Tibetan, but we supplied his every need."
Mossad intelligence agency of helping U.S. forces "torture" Abbas
"Another blatant lie. He really, really enjoyed the slide show from the family in Iowa on their visit to their cousin's hog farm. And the two movies he got to watch every night, "Gidget" and "My Fair Lady" were first-class! We didn't stint on providing for Mr. Abbas, not ever. And we NEVER tortured him. Everything we did was for his pleasure and entertainment."
"Mossad officers, Jewish officers, participated in the interrogation."
"Well, you know, GOOD hired help is hard to get in Iraq. We had to take what we could get. Besides, all three Mossad officers were actually retired, so we were just helping them adjust to civilian life..."

"We in Iraq are very upset that Mr. Abbas is no longer with us. We hope he is enjoying his 72 raisins, even if they are slightly fungus-riddled due to the long wait between when he should have enjoyed them and his actual demise."
Posted by: Old Patriot   2004-3-10 3:30:17 PM  

#2  Truth be told: I WISH it were true we had the SOB assassinated; but in fact I regret to say he died of natural causes. I don't think it's a bad thing to allow it to be believed Abu died of somethng other than natural causes. Indeed, I trust there are folk all around the world dying of non-natural causes at the hands of SF that we never hear of.
Posted by: Mark   2004-3-10 3:13:32 PM  

#1  Ah, shit. Looked up "Achille Lauro" in Search, not "Abu Abbas".
Posted by: Steve from Relto   2004-3-10 12:14:16 PM  

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