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Afghanistan
US forces intensifying the hunt for al-Qaeda
2004-02-07
A marked increase has been witnessed in the number of coalition forces in eastern Afghan provinces to hunt down al-Qaeda and Taliban elements believed to be hiding in the border areas between Pakistan and Afghanistan. Local tribesmen, who are able to move both sides of the Durand Line, claimed of the unprecedented movement of the US and other allied forces in Barmal area of Paktika province of Afghanistan during the week. Dozens of helicopters are hovering over the area day and night, which sends signals of fear and uncertainty among the tribesmen living on both sides of the divide.
"A helicopter! Two helicopters! Oh, Mahmoud! I feel so fearful! So uncertain! Oh, hold me, Mahmoud!"
The search for suspected terrorists has been increased in Nawey Ada, Macha Dad Kot, Shakin and Gomal areas of Paktika province and local tribesmen are also subjected to body search while using the access roads in the area.
"Kevin! You got any more rubber gloves?"
It has been learnt that as many as 60 containers have been shifted to the area to be used for residential purpose. A number of fresh US and allied forces, eyewitnesses said, have been moved to the area, where a major operation is likely to be launched any moment to comb the mountainous region for Osama Bin Laden and his other top lieutenants.
"Containers"? Like shipping containers?
In another development, some mysterious armed persons issued warnings to barbers and music shopkeepers in Azam Warsak and Rustam Bazaar area of South Waziristan agency on Friday not to shave beards of the people or sell cassettes or videos in the area, which is against the teaching of Islam.
"Mysterious armed persons"... Oh, who could it be?
"Those who shaving people’s beards would face death and those selling cassettes would be taken to task as well," the armed persons onboard two pick ups warned the shopkeepers in the Pakistani border areas. However, Assistant Political Agency Wana, Headquarters of the agency, Rehmatullah Wazir denied that any such incident has taken place.
"Nope. Nope. Never happened. But to be on the safe side, don't shave anybody's beard, okay? And dump the music."
But local barbers and music centre owners have closed down business and sought security of life and property from the authorities. It was learnt that the armed persons manhandled some of the shopkeepers after they reportedly showed some resistance to close down shops. The armed persons also smashed the mirrors inside the barbers’ shops and collected hundreds of cassettes terming them un-Islamic, local tribesmen informed.
Posted by:Dan Darling

#8  Bravo Ed! Bravo!
Posted by: Lucky   2004-2-7 11:59:36 PM  

#7  Actually, Paul, it could go on forever. Remember, Islam has that little problem where any member can claim any OTHER member has become a heretic.

All we will have to do is put a few REAL video stores and/or barber shops down on the ground, along with a fake or two. If they DON'T attack, they're failing in their duty to their religion, and we can get, say, a co-operative Sufi Muslim (decent guys and NOT Islamo-facists) to put on a turban and speechify at length how cowardly they are by NOT attacking.

Make it so they HAVE to attack a real target or face their screeching masters for not being radical enough. Then simply arrange so they can't tell which one's the real target.

We'll loose a few people, but then, we've done this before. It's the "Q-ship" method.

Come to think of it, something like this happened in the NY subway system when that guy Bernie Goetz shot a few wanna-be muggers some years ago. The mayor of NY didn't want to admit it, but for some weeks after the shooting, crimes in the subway went DOWN. The street-scum didn't know who might or might not be carrying, and chose to err on the side of caution.

As was said by a famous millionaire from Gotham City.. "Criminals (and terrorists) are a superstitious, cowardly lot."

*evil grin*

Ed Becerra


Posted by: Ed Becerra   2004-2-7 6:17:52 PM  

#6  Ed---I like your flypaper or sting operation. Use their intellect and cultural prejudices to lure them to their doom.....like a venus flytrap. Definitely a class act. After the first few suckers, word will spread and the trap will be exposed, but then the world will be safe for barbers and music shops again. It is a win-win!
Posted by: Alaska Paul   2004-2-7 1:56:08 PM  

#5  When Allah created the universe, two of his main ideas were that people should not shave beards or sell cassettes.
Posted by: Mike Sylwester   2004-2-7 11:28:20 AM  

#4  Penguin you need a small investor?
Posted by: Shipman   2004-2-7 10:53:45 AM  

#3  It has been learnt that as many as 60 containers have been shifted to the area to be used for residential purpose.

As in temporary holding cells?
Posted by: john   2004-2-7 7:31:56 AM  

#2  Continuing with Ed's idea...

Barbershop 3, where Ice Cube and Eddie (Cedric the Entertainer) become CIA agents to pay off the debt on the Barbershop in Chicago and get Queen Latifah out of jail. They go to the Afghan/Pakistan border and kick ass on the Taliban and everybody. They can link it to that hilarious movie series Fridays by having Fridays 3, Holy Friday.
Posted by: Penguin   2004-2-7 2:50:12 AM  

#1  It strikes me that this would be an excellent way to round up these pricks. Just open up a phoney video store or barber shop, and allow these mooks to hang themselves.

Not really any different than the first famous sting operation that was immortalized by Dom Deluise and Jerry Reed in the movie "Hot Stuff".

Hell's Bells, folks, these idiots would come to US! No need to chase them!

Why not?!

Ed Becerra
Posted by: Ed Becerra   2004-2-7 1:35:18 AM  

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