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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Rabbi invents prayer for porn-surfing Jews
2004-01-21
I wonder if the prayer works for non-jews, or am I doomed to the eternal fires
An Israeli rabbi has invented a prayer to help Jews overcome the guilt of visiting pornographic websites. The benediction by Shlomo Eliahu says: "Please God, help me cleanse the computer of viruses and evil photographs which disturb and ruin my work..., so that I shall be able to cleanse myself (of sin)."
Oh, yeah. That should work.
Mr Eliahu said he had seen a marked increase in the number of men who had come to him to confess their internet sins. The callers said they were worried that the time they were spending surfing for porn was ruining their family lives, the daily Yedioth Ahronoth reports. The rabbi recommends that Jews recite the prayer when they log on, or even programme it to flash up on their computer screens so they are spiritually covered whether they enter a dodgy site intentionally or by mistake.
Posted by:tipper

#12  Can we get the Pope working on this for us...dare I say it...mackerel slappers?
Posted by: tu3031   2004-1-21 8:49:15 PM  

#11  And remember to clean your 104 yr. old Parrot.
Posted by: Shipman   2004-1-21 6:33:36 PM  

#10  Lord, help me. I do believe I've fallen in with a bunch of porno surfers. LOL
Posted by: Gasse Katze   2004-1-21 3:18:23 PM  

#9  better nekid wimmins than the blue screen of death
I wonder if they are working on a special protective prayer which gives you immunity for about 5 hours worth of hard core porn,
i'm even willing to pay extra for a special high bandwidth yarmolka to wear when you say the special prayer!
Posted by: The Dodo   2004-1-21 1:19:25 PM  

#8  And, lastly, dear Lord, don't let my wife find out!
Posted by: Chuck Simmins   2004-1-21 12:17:09 PM  

#7  I keep saying the prayer, but nekkid wimins keep showing up on my monitor!!
Posted by: JerseyMike   2004-1-21 11:17:01 AM  

#6  I hope the prayer for those who spend too much time body sufing works.

Do they have one for those of us who spend too much time bloggy surfing??

Posted by: B   2004-1-21 10:23:36 AM  

#5  Hahahaha this is a hillarious article. Seem the a lot of jewish people are having problems with this, better this than abusing Palestinian rights.
Posted by: TOOHOT   2004-1-21 10:14:43 AM  

#4  Does the cleansing only cover the hard drive, or will it work on monitor stains?
Posted by: BH   2004-1-21 10:11:49 AM  

#3  It is said that in order to know good, you have to know evil. Right now I'm preparing to recognize very, very good. :P
Posted by: Doc8404   2004-1-21 10:09:59 AM  

#2  Alternatively switch to Opera. Nice features for deleting just about everything.
Posted by: Phil B   2004-1-21 5:57:02 AM  

#1  Keep praying Tipper. But if that doesn't work try Internet Cleanup. If you can't cleanse yourself, at least you can cleanse history and cache files from your hard drive. :)
Posted by: Gasse Katze   2004-1-21 3:07:48 AM  

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