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Fifth Column
Fast Times At Baghdad High
2004-01-14
or Back to Baghdad. Long article, if you have the stomach for it...
Sean Penn went to Iraq a year ago not as an actor, but as a father, a husband and an American.
That statement smells like old bluefish...
He made the visit, from Dec. 13 to 15, 2002, to shill for Saddam Hussein learn about the American-Iraqi conflict from the people who weren’t thrown into the shredders were living through it. A year later, the week before Saddam Hussein was found in a sewer captured, Penn returned to Iraq to find out how life had changed after the American invasion. What follows is his account of what he saw.
This is Sean speaking...
Doc Birnbaum filled the last of three receptacles with my blood (he was concerned about my looming cholesterol problem and had graciously made a house call), then slid the needle out of my vein as my phone rang.
I see you have experience in that area, Sean.
I answered as the doc pressed a cotton ball onto the puncture in the crook of my arm. It was Medea Benjamin, the co-founder of Global Exchange, a San Francisco human rights organization. I had put out the word that I wanted to return to Iraq to write a piece for The Chronicle, having been granted a press credential by its editor, Phil Bronstein. Medea called to tell me that she would be taking a delegation of parents of servicepeople, both killed in action and on active duty, for a weeklong "mission of peace" to Iraq -- a trip unprecedented in the history of U.S. military activity. They would be departing Saturday, Nov. 29 (our phone conversation took place on Thanksgiving Day), embarking from various U.S. airports with a rendezvous point at the "Meditation Room" at Schiphol Airport, Amsterdam. Our conversation ended as the doctor placed a Band-Aid over the cotton ball, wished me a happy Thanksgiving and left with my blood.
I, me, my... It’s all about you, isn’t it? I thought this was supposed to be a follow-up on Iraq?
Ever since the bombing of the U.N. building in Baghdad in August, I had felt increasingly tugged toward Iraq. As I had made my cautionary opinions known prior to our military engagement, in a self-financed letter to the president in the Washington Post (Oct. 18, 2002),($50K - Ed.) and then reiterated those thoughts after our invasion of Iraq in a self-financed ad in the New York Times (May 30, 2003),
So much for the crushing of dissent.
I felt a responsibility to change or reaffirm my position in light of the fact I was wrong the context of the new situation for our U.S. soldiers, and Iraqi civilians as well. The call from Medea fixed my decision to go.
"That, and I don’t have any movies currently in the dock!"
Gaining the support of my family would be tricky. My reputation within our home is one of impulsiveness, hubris and an overall bloated sense of my own survival instincts.
And that’s different from your public persona in what way?
Of course, this is entirely unfounded, but we’ll leave that for another day.
Right...
My wife and 12-year-old daughter are different people in the sense that my wife will occasionally kiss me on the lips, and my daughter, occasionally on the cheek. With this one exception, they’re exactly the same person.
Uh, no, they’re not...
"Mr. Jackson! Mr. Penn on line two!"
And when I told them, "I’m thinking about going back to Iraq," they rolled their eyes and said, "Uh-huh." I interpreted that to mean "You’re an idiot" or that they just didn’t want to invest in my explanation. So much for guidance.
One man’s idiocy is another man’s bravery, I suppose.
But my 10-year-old son said rather quickly, "Could you get killed?" I immediately and idiotically responded with, "I could get killed crossing the street -- or struck by lightning -- and SARS, what about SARS?"
"I could roast to death in an episode of global warming!"
What follows is barely restrained criticism of our military and our efforts to free the Iraqi people from thirty years of fascist repression. Vanity, thy name is Sean Penn.
Posted by:Raj

#13  So what's Medea doing over there again? Running the "Famous Visiting Asshat" bread and breakfast?
Posted by: tu3031   2004-1-14 8:57:43 PM  

#12  That daughter statement is reeeally creepy. Makes you wonder if the needle was pumping something in instead of pulling it out. Most interesting the bit about the call from Medea. At least we know whose pulling the puppet strings.
Posted by: B   2004-1-14 6:02:00 PM  

#11  Raj--I did read it to the end, and once one does get past the me-me-ME crap it is interesting. It's just that it is so aggravating having to trudge through the crap about his blood being drawn, and his wife and daughter, and how he has to settle for hummus and olives instead of lamb, the poor thing!

I bet he screams out his own name when he's coming. We could ask his wife--or his daughter, since they're both exactly the same person.

Maybe that's why he and Saddam got along so well. They're both complete egomaniacs.
Posted by: Dar   2004-1-14 5:28:58 PM  

#10  Andrew Sullivan has a different take. Too bad I, and it seems everyone else, didn't have the stones to read this self-aggrandizing piece of bluefish tripe to its bitter end, or maybe I'd find myself agreeing with Andrew.
Posted by: Raj   2004-1-14 4:51:04 PM  

#9  I was going to post this article. In fact I had started to but after EFL'ing (Editing for Length) and cutting all the concieted 'I'm so great' parts... there wasn't anything left...

What a concieted selfish prick! I'm suprised he did not describe in exquisit detail the smell and sound of each of his holy farts.
Posted by: CrazyFool   2004-1-14 4:46:30 PM  

#8  I stopped being interested when I saw the name Sean Penn. I decided not to read the rest when I saw the sentence about SARS.
Posted by: Anonymous   2004-1-14 4:21:23 PM  

#7  Sorry, I stopped being interested when he mentioned Medea Benjamin...
Posted by: mojo   2004-1-14 4:02:09 PM  

#6  My God, this is the most painful read I've had in a long, long time! I wonder if they had to edit out his descriptions of his own bowel movements? Can anyone read this article and not come away feeling that Sean Penn loves Sean Penn and believes the world--nay, the universe--revolves around him?

If you've got plenty of time to waste and want an exercise in separating the wheat from the chaff, here it is.
Posted by: Dar   2004-1-14 3:56:39 PM  

#5  I've seen Bluefish that could eat cat.
Posted by: Shipman   2004-1-14 3:55:17 PM  

#4  Just don't try eating them, Sgt.DT. Even my cats wouldn't touch it!
Posted by: Raj   2004-1-14 3:21:46 PM  

#3  Comparing Penn's remarks to stinking rotting bluefish is an insult to a fine sport-fish.
Posted by: Sgt.DT   2004-1-14 3:16:49 PM  

#2  Hate his politics, but his acting in "Mystic River" was outstanding. Great movie, but no way would I watch it more than once, really depressing.
Posted by: Steve   2004-1-14 2:38:14 PM  

#1  Did he even act in his last movie?
Posted by: Robert Crawford   2004-1-14 2:11:51 PM  

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