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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Rooters Fails to Note Obvious Applications to Ummah in feature on Despair.Inc
2004-01-12
EFL
For every motivational platitude that creates a bad attitude and every corporate catch phrase that instills employee rage, there may be a new customer for a company called Despair. Dallas-based Despair Inc. has built a business in a line of products it bills as demotivational. Despair sells calendars, posters, coffee mugs and a variety of office paraphernalia emblazoned with images that are meant to inspire but are undercut with messages that are deflating. "A lot of people find motivational products demeaning," said E.L. Kersten, the founder of Despair. "We are the brand for the cynics, pessimists and the chronically unsuccessful." For the "teamwork" entry on the demotivational 2004 calendar, there is a picture of a rolling snowball with the phrase: "A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction."
How could they miss the parallel with the PLA?
"Ambition" depicts a bear waiting for a salmon that has completed an arduous upstream swim to spawn, accompanied by the phrase: "The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly."
This one has Kadaffy written all over it.
The company promises to give customers a brand new sense of buyer’s remorse and help them to unleash the power of the Gulf States mediocrity. It offers advice to managers that the best way to resolve morale problems is to execute fire all the unhappy people.
"Take your frowny face and get the hell out!"
And the message has started to catch on, Kersten says. Kersten started the business in 1998 with a couple of friends in 1998 and Despair has blossomed into a company with $4 million in annual sales. A speaker with a major firm that produces motivational seminars said slogans that promote the ideas of cynics can be destructive. "It takes a lot of work to motivate people, but only one sourpuss to turn an office into a bunch of sourpusses," he said, asking to remain anonymous. Perhaps, Kersten would enjoy sitting down and discussing the value of demotivational products with the folks trying to inspire through catch phrases. After all, he thinks a meeting shows "that none of us is as dumb as all of us."
Note: I thought their products were funnier before I noticed that one of my employees was sporting one of their tee-shirts.
Posted by:Super Hose

#10  Some ugly ducklings just grow up to be homely ducks.
Posted by: whitecollar redneck   2004-1-12 6:18:12 PM  

#9  Drat, misspelled persistence in the second comment and the link. This just isn't my day, sorry guys.
Posted by: Phil Fraering   2004-1-12 2:51:16 PM  

#8  Oops, they mentioned that one already. I guess that should teach me to post in a hurry. Doh! Anyway, some favorites: Ambition, Persistance, and of course, Demotivation. Hop on over and have a laugh.
Posted by: Phil Fraering   2004-1-12 2:36:27 PM  

#7  I had two favorites at Schierstein, Germany, when I worked there in the late '80's: "Cheer up, there are only four more Mondays before the weekend!", and Sure Hope It's Tuesday (use the first letters of each word).
Posted by: Old Patriot   2004-1-12 2:26:31 PM  

#6  "We may be slow, but our work is poor."
Posted by: Gasse Katze   2004-1-12 1:26:57 PM  

#5  Sgt Mom, they have simular fare but probably stayed away from the exact quote to avoid intellectual property infringement. The little Valentine candy hearts are excellent. One says, "LUV 2 STALK U." :-)
Posted by: Super Hose   2004-1-12 1:18:56 PM  

#4  How 'bout "Where there's a whip, there's a way".
Posted by: Zpaz   2004-1-12 1:13:41 PM  

#3  Do they stock my favorite demotivational poster? We had it in the breakroom of EBS-Zaragoza for a long time: "The beatings will continue until morale improves!"
Posted by: Sgt. Mom   2004-1-12 12:48:11 PM  

#2  A speaker with a major firm that produces motivational seminars said slogans that promote the ideas of cynics can be destructive."It takes a lot of work to motivate people, but only one sourpuss to turn an office into a bunch of sourpusses," he said, asking to remain anonymous. I think there's actually a demotivation poster for this guy. Sometimes the only way to improve morale is to fire all of the unhappy people. I forget which quality it's supposed to be, because my net connection is rather demotivated at the moment...

Posted by: Phil Fraering   2004-1-12 12:35:19 PM  

#1  Arab pilots: INEPTITUDE - If you can't learn to do something well, Learn to enjoy doing it poorly.

Saddam Hussein: MISTAKES - It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.

Al-Qaeda: IDIOCY - Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
Posted by: BH   2004-1-12 11:55:01 AM  

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