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| -Short Attention Span Theater- |
| Ask Mufti Sorge |
| 2004-01-10 |
| One of the earliest entries in my weblog was The Mufti Cracks me up, a post poking fun at the fatwas of one Mufti Ebrahim Dasai. Recently, however, a rather confused Muslim (or a very good pranker!), left the following message in the entry: "Salam Ali Kum Mufti How r u hope thinks r fine with u Mufti Saab i would like to know some thing which happend with me need your help in these case i have married on 10-03-2002 after my married i have not done jama with my wife because she don’t let me do and she ran from my house she is British citizen now she is asking divorce from me but i don’t want to give her because she hurt many ppl eg my dad got heart attack my mom health is weak any many even in her family members too well till today 01-01-2004 she is not in contact with me any more but i like to married anther girl .. i can wed .. but what is punishment for my first wife and i will not give her divorce i decided untill she send me legal document from solisiter from British court ... Now u tell me what to do ... is my decision right she is not at her father house she call British commision and hand over himself ... i hope my decision is right i am not a big scholar but i hope for my decision Awaiting for ur reply Salam Alikkum" For the purpose of this entry, I’ll assume that’s a genuinely worried Muslim looking for counsel, or a genuine letter to the Mufti which was here repeated (I think it’s the former) . Thus, as part of my ongoing effort to God be with you... (sorry, that was the priestly robe)... Allah Akbhar; First, I’m worried about you. I mean, the girl didn’t let you Jam-a her, not even once? It might be, Allah be praised, you might need improving your Jam-a-ing equipment, if you know what I mean. Don’t come crying if your next wife also runs away. About punishing her... well, I’d be worried about doing anything to her, even if Allah doesn’t mind. I mean, those British Kuffirs have been a little angry lately, following the advice of the "Kuffir Kingdom of the West" (the country whose name shall not be named.) Listen Mohammed, we must cut down on our righteous killings, or else British, or even West Kingdom Kuffirs like my evil twin "Atheist Sorge" will get really mad and set up their twisted Martyrdom program. (Their twisted minds! They think of "helping" our Martyrdom programs, but unlike ours, they would want to promote Martyrdom among the Leaders of our glorious religion.) Atheist Sorge is so mad at you right now he wants to put a bullet on your head, AND in your father’s and mother’s as well. So, Mohammed, please be careful. We don’t want those dreadful West Kingdom Crusaders destroying our gloriuos religion. It seems only Allah himself could stop them, but the one glorious God is apparently following other pursuits, judging by the result of the last two West Kingdom Crusades. So, I can’t say this enough, don’t touch that girl, (not that you miss touching her!) Our future might depend on it. Mufti Sorge Al-Skullcracker |
| Posted by:Sorge |