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-Short Attention Span Theater-
The Onion: Christ Converts to Islam
2004-01-05
Oy gevalt!
JERUSALEM—In a surprise announcement with far-reaching theological implications, Jesus Christ The Nazarene, founder of Christianity and spiritual leader of nearly two billion people, revealed Monday that He has converted to "the one true religion" of Islam.

The controversial announcement has sent shockwaves through religious circles around the globe.

"Allah is the name of the One and Only God," Christ said. "Allah has 99 beautiful names: He is known as The Gracious, The Merciful, The Beneficent, The Creator, The All-Knowing, The All-Wise, The Lord Of The Universe, The First, The Last and many more. He has revealed Himself unto Me through the holy words of the blessed Qur’an, and I have put My trust and faith in Him."

As part of His conversion, Christ said He has taken a new name, Isa Ibn Maryam al-Salaam Christ Shabazz.
Sorry. This one doesn't even raise a smile, much less a giggle.
Posted by:mojo

#4  Ah hell... if ya can't laugh at blasphemy what can ya laugh at? I would venture to say that the real power ain't puttin on no burka.
Posted by: Shipman   2004-1-5 2:33:51 PM  

#3  So f'ni I forgot to laugh.

When Lucifer offered Jesus the chance to worship false gods, Jesus told him where to go.
Posted by: Korora   2004-1-5 1:40:07 PM  

#2  The odiferous Onion. Say it three times and it will appear.
Posted by: Anonymous   2004-1-5 1:05:42 PM  

#1  It's the safe story to do. I suspect the reaction from Muslims would have been pretty violent if the Onion had done a spoof on Muhammad converting to Christianity.
Posted by: Zhang Fei   2004-1-5 12:47:18 PM  

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