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| -Short Attention Span Theater- |
| More Year in Review |
| 2003-12-30 |
| From those wacky folks at the Portland Tribune: What? They don’t care about saving the whales? Causes singled out during the weekly Friday night marches by the Portland Peaceful Response Coalition included: the accidental Bhopal gas release; "Buy Nothing Day"; American and Iraqi casualties; Palestinian human rights; International Day of Solidarity with Women of Juarez and Chihuahua; the Portland City Council resolution against the Patriot Act; Portland Police Chief Mark Kroeker; the World Trade Organization; the federal budget deficit; and the Korean War. Quote of the year "Yes, there are two bodies in my back yard, but that’s all there is." This was how Ward Weaver explained why he expects to be acquitted of murder charges in the deaths of Ashley Pond and Miranda Gaddis. The Emily Litella ’Never Mind’ award Supporters of Intel Corp. engineer Maher "Mike" Hawash rallied around him after his arrest last March on federal terrorism charges, saying he was held only because he’s Muslim. Five months later, Hawash admitted the feds were right and entered the first of six guilty pleas from the Portland Seven. Hawash still is cooperating with prosecutors, with his sentencing scheduled for Feb. 9. Rejecting W.C. Fields’ mantra: ’Anyone who hates kids and dogs can’t be all bad’ Oregon announced its new state slogan, "Oregon: We love dreamers." Next state slogan: ’Thanks, Alaska’ Oregon’s unemployment rate finally slipped to second-worst in the country, after Alaska, when it hit 7.3 percent in November. Worst wedding guests The weekly brigade of anti-war protesters loudly drummed and chanted outside a Republican reception in downtown Portland last month until the mother of the bride at a wedding in the same building tearfully begged them to stop so the wedding could go on in peace. They did. Longest, strangest trip The online magazine Slate reported that an Oregon license plate bearing the "Pacific Wonderland" slogan used in the early ’60s was found recently on the floor of a garage at Saddam Hussein’s main presidential palace in Baghdad. The plate was last registered in Oregon in 1983 to a 1960 DeSoto. Oregon officials have no clue as to how the plate wound up in Iraq. Worst PR campaign Accused killer Ward Weaver repeatedly called reporters from jail to blame the slayings of Miranda Gaddis and Ashley Pond on a complex conspiracy involving bikers, meth dealers and Russian gangsters. His publicity campaign prompted not one but two sets of defense attorneys to ask to be removed from the case. No one replied -- they wrote the ad in English The Multnomah County Department of Human Services advertised for a volunteer to interpret for mental patients who will converse only in Klingon. Worst father Beaverton softball coach Andrew Garver ran off with Michelle "Mimi" Smith, his team’s 15-year-old catcher and a good friend of his teenage daughter. His daughter wrote a note to her father on a missing persons Web site: "You may have had a really hard time expressing your love for me, but this definitely has to be the weirdest way." |
| Posted by:Steve |
| #5 Chewy! Rip their arms off! |
| Posted by: Fred 2003-12-30 8:22:16 PM |
| #4 And they called me crazy when I started that fight between a Star Wars convention and a Star Trek convention. But now I am justified! Speaking Klingon is a mental defect, fools! |
| Posted by: Charles 2003-12-30 7:51:33 PM |
| #3 The real money is in signing for deaf Klingons. |
| Posted by: Shipman 2003-12-30 5:33:18 PM |
| #2 The Multnomah County Department of Human Services advertised for a volunteer to interpret for mental patients who will converse only in Klingon. Volunteer, my ass! That's gotta pay big time. How many people do you know that speak Klingon? I mean, besides the nuts.... |
| Posted by: tu3031 2003-12-30 4:56:07 PM |
| #1 Ward Weaver explained why he expects to be acquitted of murder charges You just knew Ward was gonna crack eventually. The question is... Is Eddie a victim or helper? This is gonna blow the Jackson case off Court TV. |
| Posted by: Shipman 2003-12-30 4:41:48 PM |