OT I know, but it’s year’s end.
Every year, thousands of news stories get overlooked, lost beneath the welter of major international events.
| Most of them with good reason, we might add... |
They are, for the most part, simple matters with a human dimension, not involving world leaders, war or other political upheaval, stories which illustrate the extraordinary in the everyday, the amusing, absurd and the downright bizarre occurrences which can befall any of us.
| You might even call them "goofy." |
Here, then, is a selection of some of those "offbeat" stories which offer an insight into human nature but which may have been overshadowed by more weightier news items in 2003.- OSLO: A state visit to Norway by Kyrgyzstan President Askar Akajev ended in diplomatic disarray when none of his hosts wanted to accept his gift, a pair of extremely rare and expensive Taigan puppy dogs, of which there are only about 100 left. The President was told at Trondheim airport in the north of the country that he could not bring them into Norway, which has strict quarantine rules.
"Those... those are dogs?"
"Yeah."
"They look like... ummm... possums."
"With catfish lips."
"And they smell funny." |
- MOSGIEL (New Zealand): Organisers of a Christmas grotto banned children from sitting on Santa’s knee because they feared being held responsible if anything untoward happened. Instead, the children had to sit next to him, on special "elf chairs", as they discuss their Christmas wish list.
| "Keep yer hands to yerself, Beardo!" |
- HELSINKI: A Finnish judge who often rules in drink-driving cases landed on the other side of the bench when she was charged with being drunk in charge of a court. The judge, a woman in her late 50s, was trying a criminal case when lawyers said they believed she was inebriated and an alcohol test showed her blood-alcohol level was more than three times over Finland’s legal limit for driving.
| "Well, what the hell? I washn't drivin' anything!" |
- VOLGODONSK, Russia: Alexander Nakonechny triumphed at a vodka drinking marathon after downing three half-litre mugs in quick succession but was unable to collect his prize of 10 bottles of the stuff when he dropped dead on the spot. The contest also left four other men fighting for their lives at the local hospital but a woman who took part managed to stagger out of the clinic a few hours after being rushed there and having her stomach pumped.
| "Lookit dat! Nakonechny's dead! Don't that mean he'sh dishqualified?" |
- ISTANBUL: A woman locked her rich industrialist husband naked in the bathroom for three years claiming he was mentally disturbed. His crime? Taking three showers a day. Orhan Babutcu, 41, was found naked with a bowl on the floor for his food. "Her goal was to make me sick so that I die and she inherits my fortune," he said, adding that his wife had been living it up with other men while he was locked in the bathroom.
| I certainly hope that's grounds for divorce in Turkey... |
- ZURICH: A Swiss-based underwear maker has developed a hightech bra which it claims will help women quit smoking thanks to perfumed capsules which give cigarettes an unpleasant taste and soothe withdrawal symptoms. Triumph International said the capsules contain lavender scent, which has sedative properties, as well as normally sweetsmelling jasmine that alters the taste of cigarettes. The company said the bra was also treated with liquid titanium to break down cigarette smoke.
| The only problem is that it has to be supercooled, which causes the bosom to shatter if struck sharply... |
- KUALA LUMPUR: A Malaysian man who sought treatment for swelling in his eye had a shock when doctors found a six-centimetre length of chopstick embedded just beneath his brain. It was believed to have been lodged there five years ago during an attack by unknown assailants.
| I can't recall ever having been attacked with chopsticks in my life... |
- LANCIANI (Italy): An Italian couple were given suspended jail sentences for indecent exposure after being caught making love in their parked car. Nothing unusual in that, except that rather against the odds the game couple were aged 86 and 74 and they were denounced by a group of prudish teenage schoolgirls.
| Hey, at that age you don't want to lose the moment. There's no guarantee it'll ever come again. Little bitches. I hope they all get pregnant out of wedlock. At age 74. |
- LAGOS: A doctor was shot dead by a patient who was testing the potency of an anti-bullet charm the doctor had prepared for him. Ashi Terfa died when patient Umaa Akor fired a gun at his head after he had tied the charm around his neck. The man was charged with culpable homicide and released on bail.
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