Raid Qusti
To quote the famous Cuban philosopher, R. Ricardo, "I dun thin' so!"
For decades now our country has been dependent on oil and petrochemicals as our only source of income. Now, with the oil boom a thing of the past, with a serious deficit in the budget
| ... because we pissed it all away on madrassahs and jihadis... |
and with a soaring population growth and a decline in per capita income, oil alone can no longer serve a developing nation. We have come up with tourism as a new economic venture in addition to oil.
| "What do you think, Bob? Should we go to the Caymans or Soddy Arabia for vacation this year?" |
What? Saudi Arabia as a tourist destination?
| The thought takes your breath away, doesn't it? Just think, an entire country that's all beach. People who regard you as infidels and want to blow you up. Why go to Chiang Mai and ride an elephant when you can go to Riyadh or Jeddah or Khobar and watch them cut people's heads off? |
A visitor interested in coming to this region might think of Dubai, Oman or Bahrain but certainly not Saudi Arabia. For starters, we do not issue tourist visas. The only visas are for business and work.
| Kinda hard to get tourists that way, isn't it? It's kind of like a welcome mat that says "Go away!" |
Even journalists sometimes have to wait for months before finally getting a visa from one of our embassies abroad. Even if there were tourist visas, a visitor would have a difficult time adopting to our strict ways.
| Ummm... Normally, tourists go places where the locals go out of their way to make them comfortable, help them have a good time in the process of being separated from their fungible resources... |
The first signs of a conservative and even rigid society would greet visitors on their arrival. A chopped-off Ronald McDonald’s head at the food court of Al-Faisaliah, Riyadh, is a sign that Westernization — even in the form of a food chain — is not wanted here.
| "Bob! Isn't that quaint! They chopped off Ronald McDonald's head as a warning to us!" |
And then you have the quiet and dull atmosphere — no music allowed — in the coffee shops all over the city.
| "Stop that unseemly frivolty and mirth!" |
In the family areas, compulsory curtains are put around every table making some of those inside feel they are in a kind of cell. The idea of going out to eat and seeing other people eating and enjoying their meal in a public place would not apply in this part of the world. That is simply because other people do not want you to look at them and do not want to look at you either.
| Chew with their mouths open, do they? |
As for prayer times, Muslim or not, you and your family are kicked out — in a polite way of course — ten minutes before the call for prayer, even if you are in the middle of your meal.
| "'Scuse me, but could you infidels get your asses out? We got more important things to do than cater to your ilk!" |
Other disturbing signs that reflect our intolerance and rigidity appear in our streets and our malls — faceless people on signs. The faces of men in an advertisement are covered with paint, tape or plaster. Others, displaying women are the same. Even the faces of children are blotted out — and let’s not forget about women’s products sold in pharmacies.
And then there is sexual segregation and what almost amounts to a phobia when men and women are together. How many times has a Saudi Arabian Airlines flight been delayed because stewards and stewardesses are busy rearranging seats because a man and a woman — for cultural reasons — feel they cannot sit next to each another?
| "Alright, Mr. Abdullah! Alright! I'm moving the brazen hussy to another seat! Put your pants back on!" |
I am still wondering how the Ministry of Transport and the Higher Commission for Developing Riyadh plans to build our first metro system. Will some of the trains be mixed or will they be segregated like the SAPTCO buses, with women in the back behind a barrier?
| "Bob? They want me to ride in the back, with the other women and the goats!" |
As for meeting new people — men and women who are non-relatives —- and inviting them out to dinner, do it at your own risk.
| "Whut yew doin', sniffin' around our wimmin, boy?" |
Families going to recreation centers will be shocked to find that there is a day for men and one for women.
| And it isn't the same day, either... |
In other words, families will be split, with the sons going with the father on one day and the daughters with their mother on another. The truth is that no matter what we do, we are not ready to receive foreign tourists.
| Maybe you should just draw your dining curtains around the entire country and forget about it... |
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