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| -Short Attention Span Theater- |
| Victim of cannibal agreed to be eaten |
| 2003-12-04 |
| I know, I know, Fred said keep ’em short, but you need to get the er, flavor of this one. Lightly EFL. To the family next door, Armin Meiwes seemed the perfect neighbour. He mowed their lawn, repaired their car and even invited them round for dinner. "He was a quiet man." Other residents in the small German town of Rotenburg also believed there was nothing odd about the 42-year-old computer expert, whose light burned late into the night inside his creaking mansion. Yesterday, however, Meiwes appeared in court charged with killing - and then frying and eating - a 43-year-old Berlin engineer, Bernd Brandes. It was, he said, something he had wanted to do for a long time. "I always had the fantasy and in the end I fulfilled it," Meiwes told the court on the first day of his trial for murder. "My life is complete [burp]." The desire grew stronger after the death of his mother in 1999, prosecutor Marcus Köhler said. Mutti dearest! In March 2001 Meiwes advertised on the internet for a "young well-built man, who wanted to be eaten". Brandes replied. On the evening of March 9, the two men went up to the bedroom in Meiwes’ rambling timbered farmhouse. Mr Brandes swallowed 20 sleeping tablets and half a bottle of schnapps before Meiwes cut off Brandes’ penis, with his agreement, and fried it for both of them to eat. There was enough for two? Brandes - by this stage bleeding heavily - then took a bath, while Meiwes read a Star Trek novel. A Good Day to Die? In the early hours of the morning, he finished off his victim by stabbing him in the neck with a large kitchen knife, kissing him first. The cannibal then chopped Mr Brandes into pieces and put several bits of him in his freezer, next to a takeaway pizza, and buried the skull in his garden. Over the next few weeks, he defrosted and cooked parts of Mr Brandes in olive oil and garlic, eventually consuming 20kg of human flesh before police finally turned up at his door. "With every bite, my memory of him grew stronger," he said. As did the smell. Behind bars, Meiwes told detectives that he had consumed his victim with a bottle of South African red wine, had got out his best cutlery and decorated his dinner table with candles. He tasted of Must not have been a Muslim. The unprecedented case has proved problematic for German lawyers who discovered that cannibalism is not illegal in Germany. Ohfergawdsakes! Before setting off on his one-way journey to Rotenburg, Brandes was, outwardly at least, a successful, financially secure professional, with a live-in girlfriend. The girlfriend, Bettina L, told German TV that she had enjoyed a healthy sex life with Brandes but they had split up after he revealed that he also liked Well yeah, can’t fault her there. In fact, prosecutors said yesterday, Brandes was suffering from a severe psychiatric disorder and "a strong desire for self-destruction". "Legume! I have the answer! The victim had a death wish!" "Brilliant, boss, brilliant!" Yesterday Meiwes told the court that he had felt lonely and neglected as a child after his father walked out on the family. He had fantasised about having a blond "younger brother", who he could keep forever by "consuming him". I once met "The God Jupiter" when I did my psych rotation as a medical student. |
| Posted by:Steve White |
| #8 Ya don't see this stuff on "Thirty Minute Meals"... |
| Posted by: tu3031 2003-12-4 10:54:53 PM |
| #7 Autophagic fellows, nicht war? |
| Posted by: Alaska Paul 2003-12-4 3:52:59 PM |
| #6 Well now, this was rather disgusting. And the part about Brandes eating his own penis, absolutely brilliant. I sense a CBS Movie Special in the near future. |
| Posted by: Charles 2003-12-4 12:59:56 PM |
| #5 I thought of Googling "young well-built man, who wanted to be eaten" but I don't want to know. Gives a whole new meaning to "Bite me!" |
| Posted by: john 2003-12-4 11:38:25 AM |
| #4 We find Mr. Brandes guilty... of being delicious! |
| Posted by: BH 2003-12-4 11:15:45 AM |
| #3 The case has proved problematic to German lawyers??? Apparently cutting off his penis and stabbing him in the neck before cutting him up in tiny pieces was not enough for this German cannibal to find himself in hot water. Note to all American serial killers - move to Germany. |
| Posted by: B 2003-12-4 7:50:56 AM |
| #2 Maybe he was just disoriented from the pills and schnapps, and sarcastically said: "eat me". Just a parable - be careful what you say to a cannibal |
| Posted by: Frank G 2003-12-4 7:50:42 AM |
| #1 The desire grew stronger after the death of his mother in 1999, prosecutor Marcus Köhler said. My God, do you know what this means? Monty Python was prophetic! And cannibalism is not illegal?????? Dude, he ATE a guy! If that is not illegal, what the heck is wrong with you? (Actually probably something that never came up before. One does not have to pass laws preventing folks from not doing things they never do.) |
| Posted by: Ben 2003-12-4 5:20:50 AM |