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| -Short Attention Span Theater- |
| Nuisance monkeys face sterilisation |
| 2003-10-21 |
| EFL from BBC Loitering in groups, pestering passers-by, stealing food - India’s urban monkeys have become a menace to society. Simian delinquency is booming, fuelled by a steady rise in the monkey population. How about some personal responsibility, here. But in the northern state of Himachal Pradesh, the humans have had enough - and, perhaps literally, the knives are out. That line gives me a sinking feeling. Authorities in the region have decided it is high time the nuisance monkeys are sterilised. This sets entirely the wrong precedent. They have applied to the Environment and Forests Ministry in Delhi for permission to proceed with a sterilisation programme. I’m not a big fan of PETA, but in this case -- where the hell is my checkbook. A senior wildlife official told the BBC the state’s female monkeys can rest easy - male monkeys will be the sole targets of the initiative. I like this less and less. According to the official, tests have shown sterilisation is far more effective in male primates than it is in females. This crap wouldn’t happen in Pakistan. If given the go-ahead, each of the state’s sterilised monkeys would have a micro-chip implanted in it, to make sure the same animal was not operated on twice. And the left says John Ashcroft is evil. Though denied the protection afforded to the sacred cow, monkeys nonetheless have an easy life in India. Until now! If cows could throw their excrement, there would be a lot fewer sacred cows. The presence of pilgrims and devotees at these temples provides the monkeys with a ready source of food - and to judge by their antics, entertainment. |
| Posted by:Super Hose |
| #5 This most definitely has to be a Pakistani plot to foment a revolution among the Indian monkey tribes. Watch out for plastic explosives hidden in shipments of bananas, and hand grenades among the cocoanuts. Most of all, don't let monkeys have access to fruitcake, or they'll start running around screaming "All your monkey farms are belong to us". |
| Posted by: Old Patriot 2003-10-21 11:32:46 PM |
| #4 There are thousands of monkey cells all over the country, waiting to spring into a Jihadi frenzy upon hearing an audio tape of Osimian Bin Laden. |
| Posted by: Alaska Paul 2003-10-21 7:54:31 PM |
| #3 Kind of harsh. It's not like the monkeys are blowing sh*t up or demanding that the Indians convert to some stupid monkey religion, or anything like that. |
| Posted by: BH 2003-10-21 5:42:36 PM |
| #2 Monkey vasectomies? Okay, the UN's gotta be around here someplace... |
| Posted by: tu3031 2003-10-21 4:43:40 PM |
| #1 make sure the same animal was not operated on twice. Wouldn't they be able to tell without the microchip? |
| Posted by: Robert Crawford 2003-10-21 3:35:46 PM |