Follow-up to yesterday and EFL.
 Yasser Arafat has suffered a mild heart attack but the Palestinian leadership has sought to keep his health problems secret for fear it will "create panic".
Especially in certain neighborhoods around Baltimore, where people will be wondering, "just what in the sam-hell is that noise, anyway?"
The 74-year-old Palestinian president, who is suffering from syphilitic gummas Parkinson’s disease, disappeared from public view last week and re-emerged at the weekend looking extremely ill. His face was pale and pinched, he had lost weight and he was almost inaudible. He had trouble standing for more than a few minutes at a time.
"Infidels! Who took my red binder?"
The Palestinian press said he was suffering from swine flu. But Palestinian officials told the Guardian that Mr Arafat had suffered a heart attack last week. "Although he has had a slight heart attack, the doctors say he will make a full recovery. He is in full control curse his moustache. There is nothing to worry about," said a close aide to Mr Arafat, who did not wish to be named.
| "You ain't hangin' it on me when he keels over!" |
Asked why it had not been made public at the time, the official said that it would "have created panic at a critical time when the Israelis are threatening Arafat’s life".
Gotta be some misinformation the Mossad can plant somewhere.
| Gotta watch those daggone death rays... |
At the beginning of last week, the Palestinian president was visited by his personal physician from Jordan, Dr Ashraf al-Kurdi, and a heart specialist, Yousuf al-Qusous, after he abruptly cancelled all appointments and disappeared from view. The doctors said the Palestinian president had been hit by flu but was recovered. "The illness is over, thank God," Dr Kurdi said at the time.
Here at the university we always call a cardiologist when someone has the flu. Can’t be too careful.
| Could be worse. Think of his poor proctologist. I'd call him a three-glover... |
But a few days later, Mr Arafat was again isolated from all but a few close aides.
| "Mahmoud! He's doing it again!" |
Again, the official explanation was tertiary syphilis flu. Sources inside the Palestinian leader’s compound in Ramallah say he was too weak to eat for several days.
| "C'mon, Yasser! Eat! Have a bite of cous-cous, that's a good lad... Ahmed! Bring more Depends!" |
When he reappeared at the weekend, regular visitors to Mr Arafat’s compound commented on how incontinent ill he looked.
| "Eeeew! You sure he's alive? What's that stuff?" |
Yesterday, the Palestinian foreign minister, Nabil Shaath, said Mr Arafat was suffering from a stomach ailment which was believed to be an ulcer. He described him as "very demented frail".
| "Wipe your chin, Yasser... Mahmoud, do it for him." |
Israeli officials say the Palestinian president’s health is not a factor as the government considers whether or not to carry out its threat to exile, or even kill, Mr Arafat. "It would be very convenient if nature were to take its course," said an Israeli foreign ministry official, Jonathan Peled. "But Mr Arafat is a cat with nine lives and we do not believe he has used all of them yet."
I can think of a few ways he could spend all of them in one place.
If Mr Arafat require medical treatment that is not available in Ramallah, he would be likely to travel to Egypt or Jordan but only if Israel permits him to return to the West Bank. Mr Peled said the government would be happy to see Mr Arafat leave but was unlikely to allow him to return.
| How 'bout if he comes in a box? Would that be okay? |
The Egyptian press recently reported that Mr Arafat has sought the help of the government in Cairo to ensure that when he dies he is buried in a landfill next to the Aqsa mosque in Jerusalem, Islam’s third holiest site. Israel would have to give its consent for Mr Arafat’s body to be moved from Ramallah to Jerusalem. Israeli officials say that would be unlikely ever in the present climate.
Like the Israelis would be so stupid as to create a new problem. |