You have commented 339 times on Rantburg.

Your Name
Your e-mail (optional)
Website (optional)
My Original Nic        Pic-a-Nic        Sorry. Comments have been closed on this article.
Bold Italic Underline Strike Bullet Blockquote Small Big Link Squish Foto Photo
Submit your comments on this article
Middle East
Yasser on his deathbed?
2003-10-07
From the "Palestine International Press Centre" website. Salt recommended; English translation somewhat ragged.
Raanan Gissin, Sharon's advisor, threatened that President Arafat's days in power are "numbered."
I think he actually said "days are numbered," but go on.
Gissin stated Monday evening that the removal of Arafat is imminent. He believed that, Israel would expedite putting in effect the already decision to forcibly remove Arafat, Arab48 online edition published today. Gissin threats coincided with rumors circulated Monday in Rammallah accusing Israel of slipping venom doses to President Arafat in order to gradually poison him, Arab48 added.
Or perhaps it's the death rays! (Insert maniacal laugh here.)
Palestinian sources linked such rumors with health downhill of President Arafat nowadays, suffering influenza and dyspepsia that summons up the checkup of doctors day by day.
Or, he could just be an old guy over 70 whose lifestyle is catching up with him. Naaah, can't be; must be the venom or the death rays.
It's prob'ly me. I mumble incantations against him every night before I go to bed. And I have one of those dolls that you stick pins into...
Israel's security cabinet decided-in principle-to "remove" Mr. Arafat last month, but did not say how or when, action would be taken. Arrest, isolation, deportation, or possibly killing him [I vote for this one!] are said to be among the options. On Sunday, President Arafat also announced an emergency state in the West Bank and Gaza Strip and issued a decree of forming an emergency cabinet with 8 ministers
[to replace the regular, non=emergency cabinet with 138 ministers]
due to the worsening situation and to ward off any possible strikes in the occupied Palestinian territories.

Followup, from Jerusalem Post...
Four ambulances that were seen entering Palestinian Authority Chairman Yasser Arafat's compound in Ramallah on Monday afternoon triggered off rumors that he was seriously ill.
One for each arm and each leg?
Within minutes, senior officials in the compound were bombarded with phone calls from curious journalists. Arafat's spokesman, Nabil Abu Rudeineh, dismissed reports that Arafat had been taken to a local hospital. He said Arafat suffered from exhaustion and was recovering.
"It's only exhaustion. Happens to him regularly."
But another senior official said Arafat's health has rapidly deteriorated over the past two weeks. "I don't think it's the flu as some people say," he said. "The president hasn't been feeling well for some time and his health seems to be worsening."
It won't be long now. I can feel it in my bones... Or maybe my arthritis is acting up.
He said it was possible that Arafat, 74, has caught a number of viruses as a result of shaking hands and exchanging kisses on the cheek with thousands of people who came to see him over the past few weeks following Israel's decision to "remove" him.
"Success, sir! The deadly toxin has been delivered by a pair of Arab lips!"
"Good, Smedley! Very good! I must inform Number One!"
On Sunday, a pale and fragile-looking Arafat met in his office with the new PA Prime Minister Ahmed Qurei.
"Yasser! You look so pale and fragile!"
"Mahmoud! Shoot him!"
"You can't shoot me! I'm the prime minister!"
Palestinians said they have never before seen Arafat in such a condition. "You can see that he's very ill," said someone who attended the meeting. "He can hardly speak. Something bad is happening to him."
It's a deadly toxin, available only in Samoa...
Some PA officials said Arafat's decision to declare a state of emergency in the West Bank and Gaza Strip could be linked to his illness. "It's possible that he doesn't want to leave a vacuum behind," said one PA official. "He must have discussed the issue with Abu Ala [Qurei]."
"Whaddya think, Ahmed? Should I declare a state of emergency?"
"Mahmoud! Put the gun down!"
Last week, the PA summoned a team of doctors from Jordan to examine Arafat after he complained of severe abdominal pain. They concluded that he had recovered from a mild illness and only needed some rest. At first, his aides suspected that he had been poisoned. Arafat had been barfing tossing his felafel vomiting for several days. Shortly after the Jordanian team returned home, a journalist in Ramallah quoted a senior PA official as saying that "Arafat's days are numbered."
"Mahmoud! Shoot him, too!"
On Monday evening, journalists and visitors were barred from entering Arafat's compound. The decision only added to the growing speculation about Arafat's health.
I'll be oiling my ululator for the rest of the afternoon...
Posted by:Mike

#23  So whose going to start the dead pool?? I'll take this Friday, 1100-1200 EST. It would be down right un-American for someone not to make a buck off this asshole's demise.
Posted by: Jarhead   2003-10-7 10:24:27 PM  

#22  No one mentioned the dreaded and horrible [insert drum roll here] red binder? All Lizardoids know the red binder contains, uh, er, um, some really important stuff. That's why he always tries to hide it, but it's there - you can feel it...
http://littlegreenfootballs.com/weblog/?entry=7295
Posted by: .com   2003-10-7 9:08:28 PM  

#21  Looks like the IDF has The Death Ray working overtime...
Posted by: tu3031   2003-10-7 8:33:02 PM  

#20  And his lampshade! Dont forget his lampshade!
Above all, don't forget his baby wipes!
(Yeh, I read LGF too much...)

(Mike, you owe me windex for my monitor...)
Posted by: Kathy K   2003-10-7 6:55:46 PM  

#19  Mike M - excelllleennnttt

but you've got too much time on your hands lol
Posted by: Frank G   2003-10-7 6:10:52 PM  

#18  I doubt that Arafat's death will have a noticable effect on the WOT but it will have a small effect on my life. ... I'll get a new flavor of Nigerian e-mail. From Suha with love.
Posted by: Super Hose   2003-10-7 5:54:44 PM  

#17  It's all starting to seem faintly like a Monty Python skit:

Dead collector: Bring out your dead!
Palestinian Authority Cabinet Minister: Here's one.
Arafat: I'm not dead!
Collector: What?
Cabinet Minister: Nothing.
Arafat: I'm not dead!
Collector: Here. He says he's not dead.
Cabinet Minister: Yes he is.
Arafat: No I'm not!
Collector: He isn't?
Cabinet Minister: Well he will be soon. He's very ill.
Arafat: I'm getting better!
Cabinet Minister: No you're not. You'll be stone dead in a moment.
Collector: Look, we can't start the Palestinian civil war with him like that. It's against regulations.
Arafat: I don't want to go in the ambulance!
Cabinet Minister: Oh don't be such a baby. here's your baby wipes.
Collector: I can't take him.
Arafat: I feel fine!
Cabinet Minister: Oh, do us a favor?
Collector: I can't.
Cabinet Minister: Well can you make it around in a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
Collector: No... I've got a suicide bombing to go to tonight.
Arafat: I think I'll go for a walk.
Cabinet Minister: You're not foolin' anyone, you know. Look. Isn't there something you can do?
Arafat: I feel happy! I feel happy!
(Sound of Arafat being fried by an Israeli-built death ray.)
Cabinet Minister: Oh, thanks very much.
Collector: Not at all. See you at the Intifada.
Cabinet Minister: Right.
Posted by: Mike   2003-10-7 5:43:08 PM  

#16  And his lampshade! Dont forget his lampshade!

/Shades of 'The Jerk'....
Posted by: CrazyFool   2003-10-7 5:30:11 PM  

#15  Damn straight. He should take his blender, too.
Posted by: Fred   2003-10-7 4:10:37 PM  

#14  "It's possible that he doesn't want to leave a vacuum behind," said one PA official.

Fine. Let him take the vacuum with him if he wants. We saw how far the Pharaohs got with their possessions in the afterlife. Also Hades is wired for 480 volts for the big zap, and not 240 VAC. Heh heh.
Posted by: Alaska Paul   2003-10-7 3:52:44 PM  

#13  "You can see that he's very ill," said someone who attended the meeting. "He can hardly speak. Something bad is happening to him."

Maybe it's the realization that his luck is running out. Increasing tension will have a detrimental effect on old farts...
Posted by: Bomb-a-rama   2003-10-7 3:50:38 PM  

#12  There are pictures of a healthy looking Yassir on the Haaratz site today (10/7) embracing the new lapdog PM. Of course, the picture could be staged.
Posted by: mhw   2003-10-7 3:47:28 PM  

#11  I bet his "72 Virgins" will enjoy his quivering lip!
Posted by: Yosemite Sam   2003-10-7 3:27:52 PM  

#10  Relax. Palestinian ambulances are only used to carry ammunition. Nothing to see here...
Posted by: john   2003-10-7 3:12:13 PM  

#9  I'll cheerfully spit on Yasser's grave along with everyone else, but the Israelis should not kid themselves that Palestinian nationalism will go away just because it's perennial poster boy has gone to the great party congress in the sky. Nations are built on blood and iron and the Israelis have made sure that the Palestinians have gotten a steady diet of that.
Posted by: Hiryu   2003-10-7 1:50:27 PM  

#8  Don't forget the beer hats.
Posted by: Charles   2003-10-7 1:47:10 PM  

#7  And your favorite adult beverage.
Posted by: Steve   2003-10-7 1:43:16 PM  

#6  Set the TIVO too, so you can review it over and over
Posted by: Frank G   2003-10-7 1:11:15 PM  

#5  And lawn chairs, Steve. Definitely lawn chairs.
Posted by: Seafarious   2003-10-7 1:07:08 PM  

#4  Excellent, when rumors keep spreading that the king is dying, the other players will begin to think about being first in line to succeed him. This leads to making sure your rivals don't beat you to it, by giving him a little "push" when you think you are ready.

Now, where's my popcorn?
Posted by: Steve   2003-10-7 1:05:17 PM  

#3  Four ambulances? Must be one from each of his "security" services...the EMT's are prolly all brawling in the foyer...
Posted by: Seafarious   2003-10-7 12:56:40 PM  

#2  Think they'll use the artificial gill on 'em?

Like Alaska Paul says... "The bubbler is off"
Posted by: Shipman   2003-10-7 12:52:46 PM  

#1  Jpost has a similar article caught via LGF:

Four ambulances that were seen entering Palestinian Authority Chairman Yasser Arafat's compound in Ramallah on Monday afternoon triggered off rumors that he was seriously ill.

Within minutes, senior officials in the compound were bombarded with phone calls from curious journalists. Arafat's spokesman, Nabil Abu Rudeineh, dismissed reports that Arafat had been taken to a local hospital. He said Arafat suffered from exhaustion and was recovering.

But another senior official said Arafat's health has rapidly deteriorated over the past two weeks. "I don't think it's the flu as some people say," he said. "The president hasn't been feeling well for some time and his health seems to be worsening."

He said it was possible that Arafat, 74, has caught a number of viruses as a result of shaking hands and exchanging kisses on the cheek with thousands of people who came to see him over the past few weeks following Israel's decision to "remove" him.

On Sunday, a pale and fragile-looking Arafat met in his office with the new PA Prime Minister Ahmed Qurei. Palestinians said they have never before seen Arafat in such a condition.

"You can see that he's very ill," said someone who attended the meeting. "He can hardly speak. Something bad is happening to him."
Posted by: Frank G   2003-10-7 12:46:28 PM  

00:00