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Middle East
Bomb Sniffing Pigs!
2003-10-03
Geva Zion, a 26 year old veteran of the I.D.F. K-9 unit has developed an effective system to detect Arab terrorists and bombs. Zion is training wild boars to find mines and bombs. Zion claims that his 2 new pigs Soda and Chaziza can track explosives quicker and better than any dog or electronic detection device, according to Yediot Ahronot, September 30, 03.
Will wonders never cease?
I dunno... Is that kosher?
The Jewish Legion, a volunteer organization that helps secure towns in Israel with the help of specially trained K-9s is looking in to the possibility of contracting Geva Zion to help create a new Pig unit. Ezra Stein, director of public relations for the Jewish Legion conceded that the Jewish Legion is seeking Rabbinic advice.
Voice of Judea Commentary:
Moshiach [The Messiah] must be coming very soon. The Israelis have now invented a bomb detection pig? What next? Israel will succeed in inventing a peace loving Palestinian? Who knows, what the Jews couldn’t do, maybe the pigs can do.

What halachic justification could the Jewish Legion find to raise pigs in the Holy Land?
(Good question. However, the Torah only says that Jews are not supposed to EAT them.)
While saving lives is the number one mitzvah what will the Arabs say, and what will the liberal Israeli left have to say about offending Islamic sensitivity to pigs?
(Whatever the hell the liberals say, just point to the first part of this sentence and ask how serious they are. Whatever the hell the terrorists say, just shoot them.)
One thing is for sure Arab terrorists aint gonna appreciate getting sniffed out by wild pigs.
(They don’t appreciate dogs either, but that hasn’t stopped the formation of K-9 units.)
It would be truly a historic chain of events if the secular pig-raising Lahav Kibbutz joins hands with Yesha settlements to fight off Arab terrorists with pigs under the auspices of the Jewish Legion.
I believe Yesha settlements are references to settlements of Messianic Jews, who wouldn’t have talmudic problems handling pigs. They’re considered outside the pale of Orthodox Judaism for their belief in the New Testament, so the reference to "historic chain of events" is understated. I tried to imagine something similar happening here in the US, and got a picture of the Nazis, the KKK, The Black Caucus, NOW, the Christian Coalition, the Rainbow Coalition, NAACP, and MECHA getting together on a stage, holding hands, and agreeing on something. I couldn’t exactly figure out what it was, since my imagination immediately suffered a catastrophic failure just before I caught what it was...

Maybe it's just that I lack the milk of human kindness or some sort of liberal ethos, but when people try their very best to kill me, I don't give a rat's rectum about offending their sensitivities. My poor little one cylinder mind can't grasp the concept...
Posted by:Ptah

#15  Some very interesting material posted here!
It gives me an idea on what to do with all my hollowpoint ammunition!
(Rebel Yell)
Let this be known to all muslim terrorist....... There's a new bullit in town and it's name is HOLLOWPORK!
Now I can fight fire with fire and help out the old lady at the same time by cleaning up the morning frying pan and save'n those bacon bits and some Jimmy Dean's sausage fat for my special Osama-Ben-Had Hollow-Pork Rounds!

Bring it on ya Jahaddy dummies.....No 75 virgins for you dickheads if you piss around in my neck of the woods!

Goober
Posted by: Goober Pyle   2004-05-30 7:16:33 PM  

#14  Go Ed Go! All we got is bandwidth.

Short version. Pigs eat what humans eat, they are direct and efficient competition. Dat's Pig Hate.

Now Pig Love... is harder to 'splain. They taste good, but you gotta have a surplus of stuff they'll eat, which leads to intra-human warfare over the cargo. See? It's easy.
Posted by: Shipman   2003-10-3 7:47:08 PM  

#13  I've never understood why pigs are considered *more* offensive to Muslims than to, say, Jews. Or Hindus, for that matter.

The short version, Mojo, is this: To Muslims and Hindus, it's not just the eating of pork that's offensive, it's ANY contact with a pig, or a pig product. The Sepoy Revolt that hit the Brits unaware was the result of a rumor that the ammunition the Brits were handing out to native troops had been greased with a mixture of pork and sheep fat.

Indeed, during the US Army's campaign in the Phillipines, General Pershing dealt with some extremely persistant Muslim rebels by having his troops dig a pit, slaughter some pigs, drain their blood into the pit, toss the dead pigs into the pit, then shoot the rebels and dump THEIR bodies into it. The resulting shock reverberated throughout the Muslim community in the southern Phillipine Islands, and only the most irrational Muslims were willing to attack US troops after that.

Why? According to Muslim faith, you can't go to paradise if you've been contaminated by an unclean animal. Even if it wasn't your fault. If there's no time for a Muslim to perform the cleansing rituals, he's damned and doomed. Allah's essentially saying "Tough luck, buddy. Wasn't your fault, but I'm gonna screw you over anyway."

This is a VAST over-simplification of a complex subject and the religious laws involved, but a full treatment of it would require a book-length lecture. ^_^

Ed Becerra
Posted by: Ed Becerra   2003-10-3 5:34:22 PM  

#12   Now if the IDF could only figure out a way to mount an M-60 on it with dual grenade launchers on the sides.

I can see the slogans spray painted across the sides like armored vehicles.

"Dirty Harry"
"Bad Piggy"
"Who you calling dirty, punk?"
"I'm looking for my son Yassar, have you seen him?"

For each kill mark they could paint on turbans!
Posted by: Paul   2003-10-3 4:59:42 PM  

#11  It's no fun shooting them in the back.

Speak for yourself.
Posted by: Steve   2003-10-3 2:36:02 PM  

#10  My only concern is that the terrorists will run away from the 'demonic' pig. It's no fun shooting them in the back.
Posted by: Charles   2003-10-3 2:17:58 PM  

#9  new slogan for pig farmers:

"the other white meat........and they're good at foiling muslim extremists"
Posted by: Jarhead   2003-10-3 2:01:38 PM  

#8  I've never understood why pigs are considered *more* offensive to Muslims than to, say, Jews. Or Hindus, for that matter. None of 'em are allowed to eat pork, which leaves more for me I suppose...
Posted by: mojo   2003-10-3 1:44:42 PM  

#7  Effective and offensive to Muslims. Who could ask for anything more?
Posted by: someone   2003-10-3 12:54:00 PM  

#6  It doesn't make a difference to neither you nor I
Big pig or little pig, Root, hog, or die.
Posted by: Mike   2003-10-3 12:32:29 PM  

#5  I find the typo in the first paragraph particularly hillarious: "wild bores", sounds like an amorphous group of dissenters, while doing a (Monty Python-esque) " frothing at the mouth and falling over backwards".
Posted by: Anonymous   2003-10-3 11:46:15 AM  

#4  Walk by my Razorback please. SLOWLY
Posted by: Shipman   2003-10-3 10:53:53 AM  

#3  One thing is for sure Arab terrorists aint gonna appreciate getting sniffed out by wild pigs.

LOL
Posted by: TS   2003-10-3 10:44:27 AM  

#2  Pigs are smarter than dogs and have better noses. Supposed to be easy to train to. I think I have seem a story on them being used to sniff out bombs and drugs here in the States.
Posted by: Steve   2003-10-3 10:43:13 AM  

#1  Best.idea.ever. The terrorists better hope none of their wares go off while the pig is investigating, or no raisins for you!
Posted by: BH   2003-10-3 10:26:23 AM  

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