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Arabia

Qaeda warns on infiltration

2003-09-25

Al-Qaeda is accusing Kuwait of "conspiring against the Mujahideen (holy fighters) in Iraq by recruiting persons to infiltrate the Mujahideen groups and hurt them from within."

Are they really? I think that's wonderful...

"The United States has formed a joint intelligence committee with Kuwait and Saudi Arabia to strike against Mujahideen in Iraq by spying on them or by implanting electronic chips at Mujahideen locations to facilitate accurate hits against them," claimed a communique by al-Qaeda's Islamic Research Center, as quoted by Al-Rai Al-Aam Wednesday. The communique warned the Mujahideen in Iraq against some Iraqis and other volunteers and urged them to be vigilant "to purify their lines of these traitors because the above mentioned three countries are eager to buy the dignity and honor of persons who previously went to Jihad to hit the Mujahideen from within."

Oh, gosh. I hope Mahmoud and Ahmed are okay. We haven't heard from them for awhile...

"Mujahideen in Iraq are urged to execute traitors as an example for other weak souls who try to infiltrate the Mujahideen," said the communique.

Snicker!

Posted by:Fred Pruitt

#14 To all al-qaeda operatives:
The only way to disable the chip is decapitation. Also, the chip can't be detected in any way. Be sure to check everyone!

Posted by: Clark 2003-9-26 6:34:31 PM

#13 Could this be a sign of a crack in the wahhabi influence in the magic kingdom. I've heard reports on talk radio of groups protesting the wahhabi's there. Saying they are "ruining islam" (ya think?).

Posted by: Lucky 2003-9-26 12:27:23 PM

#12 That's dirty pool! I think Al Qaeda should file a grievance with the ACLU.

Posted by: Jeremy 2003-9-26 5:06:31 AM

#11 The Nazis wrecked havoc on the Soviets in the mid and late '30s by planting evidence that various Soviet military leaders were actually Nazi spies. Combined with Stalin's natural paranoia and bloodthirstiness, this led to him slaughtering a huge proportion of his own office corps just before the war.

Posted by: PapayaSF 2003-9-26 1:59:02 AM

#10 Our operatives will soon be distributing the exploding pencils to our unsuspecting enemies. Comical Ali must be writing this stuff. You don't think those 50 gallon drums of hash were the Comic Man's supply of personal inspiration?

Posted by: Super Hose 2003-9-25 10:37:25 PM

#9 Alright, I warned Abdul. And Mohammed. And Mahmut. And Osman. And the bearded operative whose name I forgot.

Posted by: CIA Man 2003-9-25 10:32:51 PM

#8 Last I heard the operational chip was RFID with GPS.

Posted by: Anomalous 2003-9-25 10:31:33 PM

#7 Who says there's only one chip per person?

Posted by: Robert Crawford 2003-9-25 10:08:43 PM

#6 No chips at the back of the neck. They are implanted in the chin. The only way you can be sure whether someone is 'clean' is to shave off the beard (and risk Allah's wrath).

Posted by: Kathy K 2003-9-25 9:36:52 PM

#5 The chips are at the back of the neck. All of the operatives have long beards. Yep. Look around... that's the guy. No wait... that one!

Posted by: eLarson 2003-9-25 8:56:48 PM

#4 Hey! That's not fair!

Posted by: tu3031 2003-9-25 8:36:47 PM

#3 Excellent. Sow the seeds of distrust and watch the organization rot from the inside.

Posted by: Bomb-a-rama 2003-9-25 8:35:22 PM

#2 wouldn't it be wonderful to hint that we were implanting chips in spies? I can see the fun of attempting to dig the suspected ones out with bent butter knifes woo hoo! we got fun

Posted by: Frank G 2003-9-25 8:35:16 PM

#1 "The United States has formed a joint intelligence committee with Kuwait and Saudi Arabia to strike against Mujahideen in Iraq by spying on them"

With the Saudis involved, it sounds like al Qaeda may be doing some infiltrating of their own...

Posted by: Hyper 2003-9-25 8:30:31 PM

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