#3 Open Letter to the Eye-Ranian Turban Guys:
"Y'know this isn't fair. I mean, well, shit Mr Ayatollah, sir, it's just so darned easy to humiliate and insult Islam! I mean, uh, well sir, what I mean to say is that it's just about the most target-rich form of tomfoolery ever invented by man to survive more 'n, say, 10 or 20 minutes. If you folks in the black hats wuzn't such obvious total losers and self-serving asshats, with yer holier-than-thou asses status quo to protect, not to mention them fancy e-lectronic bank accounts you folks are filling up over in SwissLand nowadays, well hell, any sensible fella woulda tossed this 'slam turd in the crapper 10 or 12 centuries ago. Me 'n the Mrs talked about it last night - and cain't fer the life of us figger out how you fools lasted this long. Sheee-it. Must be a whole mess of mo-rons where yew come from. And talk about mercy, well Hells' bells, boy, you're still breathing ain'cha? Get a grip, whydoncha? If'n we were half as merciless as you Muslim types, your whole friggin' country would be glowin' in the dark, by now. So lighten up with all the skeery talk and pretendin' to be tough - and let them nice boys from the UN thing c'mon in and do their jobs. Yew startin' to sound zactly like them idiot NorKy guys I'm tasked to erase sometime in the next few (deleted). Shit. We kin save some gas and do ya both on the same run. Our Buffs kin carry a shitload of ordnance, y'know. So I'm jes telling ya to cool yer jets and keep yer pants on. Oh, fergot. Yew don't wear pants. Hell, maybe that's the problem. Hey, I dunno and it's no sweat off my nuts, either way, son. Yewr choice."
-Col. Billy Bob Latimer, Wing Commander, SAC |