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Home Front
U.S. Failed To Get a Fatwa Legalizing War
2003-03-27
The U.S. government has been unable to find any Muslim American organization to issue a Fatwa, a religious ruling, ascribing legality to the war against Iraq.
And if anyone knows about fatwa's, it's Islam-Online. Fred, we need a fatwa, ASAP!
This failure is noteworthy in the face of the intimidating laws such as USA-PATRIOT Act, which can serve to blackmail non-compliant Muslims.
That's right, if you don't agree Ashcroft will ship you off to those camps he set up in Montana, er, Idaho, er, somewhere.
The Muslim American anger continues to simmer, although it has not boiled over into the streets because of the intimidating laws. The popular sentiment has yet to find expression in the Muslim American leadership. According to reports, the representatives of major Muslim organizations have met and dispersed during last week without being able to craft a joint communiqué about Iraq.
That'll fix it, a communique! It's a French word for meaningless babble.
A Muslim American likened the situation to the international Muslim organizations like the OIC that fail to agree anything while Baghdad or Palestine or Kashmir burn.
Well, they pegged that one.
Apparently, Islam OnLine — and the rest of the turban world — expect American Muslims to "take to the streets" as readily as their brethren in the Third World. Since Islam is a religion of Bliss, they don't appear to grasp that Detroit and Toledo aren't Peshawar or Cairo, no matter how much they'd like it to be. And this would be entirely the wrong time for the professional agitators to try and make it so.
Posted by:Steve

#16  Anyone know where a can get an Alla fatwa bobblehead doll? Perhaps e-bay.
Posted by: Brew   2003-03-27 22:00:45  

#15  tu3031---seafarious had the right name: al-Aska Paul is just right....heh heh
Posted by: Alaska Paul   2003-03-27 21:57:15  

#14  Peace be upon you, Alaska Paul. What would you like us to address you as? A mufti? A mullah? Anything you want. Let us know.
Posted by: tu3031   2003-03-27 21:18:41  

#13  We are here to (jog the busy memory) and obey Mullah Alaska Paul heh heh
Posted by: Frank G   2003-03-27 21:00:58  

#12  Outstanding!

I second the motion....opps..I mean fatwa....

And to think that I was raised a Catholic and we never had anything like this! It would have come in handy when "Chad" stole my Big Wheel....
Posted by: Porps   2003-03-27 20:21:54  

#11  Fatwa is a legal statement in Islam, issued by a mufti or a religious lawyer, on a specific issue.
Fatwas are asked for by judges or individuals, and are needed in cases where a issue of fiqh is undecided or uncertain. Lawsuits can be settled on the basis of a fatwa.
It is vital that a fatwa is not based upon the muftis or lawyers own will and ideas, he must render it in accordance with fixed precedent.
Today, fatwas have limited importance in most Muslim societies, and are normally used only in cases of marriage, inheritance and divorce. The importance of a fatwa depends on its acceptance among most people, and if people don't care about it, it is in reality powerless.
Posted by: Anonymous   2003-03-27 20:18:22  

#10  Allah be praised, most glorious Mullah al-Aska Paul!
Posted by: seafarious   2003-03-27 20:06:00  

#9  Better late than never, here is the Fatwa (thanks, Frank G for jogging me into action):

Having the required credentials of a Grand Most Illustrious and Luminous Mullah in Mufti through witnessing a Shriners Convention Parade as a youth, been a grandson of a Bechtel Corporation management employee involved in TAPLINE, a descendent of ancestors who left the Holy Land when the getting was good, worked with Palestinian fellow workers who got out when the getting was good, survived by avoiding numerous riots supporting many looney causes at the University of California at Berkeley during the 1960s, and a licensed engineer for the state of Alaska, I hereby issue the following Fatwa:

WHEREAS
The United Nations has not met its responsibilities in disarming the regime of Saddam Hussain of Iraq (a.k.a. “Sammy”) for over twelve (count ‘em 12) years, the so-called Axis of Weasels having most recently obstructed the UN in every attempt at its basic duties, and the general chaotic, despotic, and bozonic behavior tacitly condoned by Iraq’s neighbors,

THEREFORE BE IT DECLARED
That the United States of America (a.k.a “The Great Satan” (TM)) and other allies (a.k.a. “The Coalition of the Willing” (TM) ) is/are ordered to proceed to Iraq, post haste, and to remove said regime of said Sammy by any and all means appropriate, in accordance with the Geneva Convention, and install some kind of sanity to said country that has been suffering from said dictator and ineffectual organization known as the United Nations.

I set my Hand and Seal this Date of _______________, 2003

My Commission Expires on _____________

[Seal of the Grand Most Illustrious and Luminous Mullah in Mufti]
Posted by: Alaska Paul   2003-03-27 18:51:16  

#8  Since i don't know what the hell a fatwah is, I think I will triple the cost of the goods and services that my company provides to any remotely islamic sounding customer, i already have for any frogs..
Posted by: Wills   2003-03-27 16:05:10  

#7  So the Coalition is in Iraq in order to enforce Sharia? Sharia perversity caused this mess.
Posted by: Anonon   2003-03-27 13:17:35  

#6  To tell you the truth, I honestly think it wasn't on our prewar checklist. We'll have to rectify that before the next stop on our tour of the Middle East.
Posted by: tu3031   2003-03-27 13:11:38  

#5  Geeze, Guys! I'm working on the wording of the Fatwa (TM) right now, so hold onto your knickers. I am backlogged up to here just keeping up with the posts on Rantburg. I should have one by the end of the day.
Posted by: Alaska al- Paul   2003-03-27 12:23:01  

#4  They're operating under the mistaken assumption that we give a short, fragrant whiff of methane what Islamic scholars think about our national policies and interests. Islamists need a "mother may I?" from a fatwa jockey for everything they do, to include what positions are permissible when making whoopee.
Posted by: Fred   2003-03-27 11:54:17  

#3  Since Islam has no central governing body as do other religions, any pronouncement from any self-proclaimed Muslim cleric is as valid as any other. I hereby declare that I am now Muslim (for the duration of the war anyway) and that this message may be considered my fatwa officially legalizing the war in the eyes of Allah.
Posted by: B.   2003-03-27 11:44:00  

#2  Yes, and the father of the Muslim 101ST fragger says "Islam is misunderstood..." instead of "I am sorry for what my step son did..."
Yes, Islam is misunderstood.
Posted by: Capsu78   2003-03-27 11:42:27  

#1  I think a lot of them are worried they'll be sent back home if they complain too much. Most of them are in the country illegally, anyway.

When are people going to learn that the United States doesn't rely on "International organizations and world opinion" to govern itself and fight its own fights?
Posted by: Old Patriot   2003-03-27 10:30:57  

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