Submit your comments on this article | |
Korea | |
Happy Birthday, Dear Leader | |
2003-02-15 | |
While the world braces for war, North Korea is mobilising for a different operation: a birthday party for the "Great Leader", Kim Jong-il. "Oh my, truffles with cyanide. You shouldn't have!" Despite growing fears of a nuclear attack by the US, the people of Pyongyang have turned their attention this weekend to the annual, semi-religious celebration of Mr Kim's birth. Semi?
The Workers party newspaper, Rodong Shimbun, reported the appearance of glorious Since when do commies believe in heaven? North Korean television reported the discovery of a rare albino raccoon which, it said, signified momentous times ahead for the country and its leader On this we agree, it'll be momentous allright. A recent news summary by the official The guy's a regular George Washington Carver to hear them tell it. Wonder if he'll claim credit for inventing peanut butter? Although North Korea is one of the most isolated states in the world, KCNA said deluded admirers in 40 countries were preparing to celebrate Mr Kim's birthday. In the rational outside world, the main news from North Korea was the latest escalation of the regime's nuclear confrontation with the US. North Korea accused the International Atomic Energy Agency of being a stooge of Washington, and of "interfering in its internal affairs" following the IAEA's decision to refer the issue to the UN security council. There we go, some spittle! In Pyongyang, the focus was on a huge exhibition of thousands of varieties of Kimjongilia (Kim Jong-il flower), the bloom that is dearest to the heart of the North Korea media. Does it look anything like belladonna? Foxglove? I see an opportunity. Troops everywhere are drilling for parades that will take place tomorrow. Even at the demilitarised zone where the North's army faces its enemies, officers said their main concern this week was the celebrations. "I'm in charge of the preparations," said Lieutenant Colonel Ri Gwang-hol. "It's At the only service station on the road from Pyongyang to the border, staff were rehearsing a song called General Kim Jong-il, Please Don't Travel the Snowy Road, "Kim, lookee at what the dear leader gave me!" "What is it, Kim?" "An extra millet seed in my ration today!" "Wow, what a great and glorious dear leader we have!" "Should I eat it all now or save some for later?" The celebrations are a focal point for the cultish devotion to the country's leader which forms one of two central ideological pillars of the state alongside When you're an expert in everything, this isn't a problem. "He is the most outstanding theoretician. No one can match his Outside the capital, international aid workers say that cold and hungry people are too concerned about day-to-day survival to bother with the state ideology. But in Pyongyang, even doctors, churchmen and middle-aged women say they are willing to sacrifice themselves for Mr Kim. "Tell the world we are not afraid of nuclear weapons," said Ri Ok-hi, as she showed us around the Workers party monument. "We will fight to the death for our leader." Trust me, he's not worth it. It may be propaganda, but it is consistent. If regime change is to occur in North Korea, it is impossible to imagine that it will ever be initiated from within. Too many people have taken part in too many birthday celebrations for too long. Every time I'm about ready to give up on the Guardian, they get something right. Even if the NKors collapsed tomorrow, the SKors could never go up there and make the place work. North Korea is going to be a synonym for hell for generations. | |
Posted by:Steve White |
#10 Tenchi had the Light Hawk Wings. Do we have anything like that yet? |
Posted by: Pink & Fluffy 2003-02-16 01:38:08 |
#9 "Ri Ok-hi"? Okay, everyone who watched "Tenchi Muyo", raise your hands... |
Posted by: Crescend 2003-02-15 15:35:45 |
#8 How much of their GNP do you think they will use up on Kimmie's little soiree? |
Posted by: tu3031 2003-02-15 14:49:48 |
#7 "momentous times ahead for the country and its leader." Rosy assesment not shared by current Las Vegas line. |
Posted by: Govy 2003-02-15 12:12:10 |
#6 Kim's an "agricultural expert"!!! What a crack-up!!! Best laugh I've had in days. I love this site! |
Posted by: Tom 2003-02-15 11:35:12 |
#5 I notice that they don't do this sort of thing in Romania anymore for Ceaucescu, or in Albania for Enver... |
Posted by: Fred 2003-02-15 10:33:56 |
#4 Did you ever see the N.Koreans grieve over the death of their last dear leader? It's so over-the-top that you can tell the fakeness of it from a mile away. It's either some serious brainwashing, or they were all wearing a dynamite belt that only dear leader can remove. |
Posted by: RW 2003-02-15 06:20:31 |
#3 While driving from work today, it suddenly struck me how hilariously funny NKor has become: They're actually SERIOUS about this bullshit. This is a hell of a lot of asskissing, bringing to mind Boris Badinov's cringing before Fearless Leader in the old Bullwinkle cartoons. If it wasn't for the nukes, this would be entertainment that they could export, but they're so clueless about business, they're giving it out for free... |
Posted by: Ptah 2003-02-15 06:01:23 |
#2 Albino = malnutrition - can't even make colored fur. LOL great post. Kimjongilia? isn't that an STD that makes your hair poofy and your penis falls off? |
Posted by: Frank G 2003-02-15 05:43:28 |
#1 Albino raccoon? Probably a glow-in-the-dark pentaped found nosing round bins at Yongbyon. |
Posted by: Bulldog 2003-02-15 05:25:01 |