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Nasrallah vows campaign to force gov't change
Today's Headlines
Headline Comments [Views]
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-Lurid Crime Tales-
Bonus Idiot
Man accidentally shoots himself in groin
WICHITA, Kan. - A botched kidnapping ended with one of the assailants shooting himself in the groin, Wichita police said. The man had just stuck the gun back into his waistband when it fired, shooting him in the left testicle.
"Herb! You're a soprano?"
He cringed, causing the gun to fire again and strike him in the left calf.
"That does it! I'm giving up my life of crime!"
"Cheeze, Herb! Youse could get a job singin' opera!"
When the shooting ended, the 23-year-old man managed to walk himself into the hospital for treatment, police said.
"Just take a number and have a seat. We'll call you."
"No, you don't have to sit down."
He and his two accomplices, ages 18 and 20, were arrested for aggravated attempted kidnapping and conspiracy to obstruct justice. The men were attempting to kidnap a teen in a dispute over stereo speakers, police said.
Posted by: Chinter Flarong || 11/15/2006 17:19 || Comments || Link || E-Mail|| [6465 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Has he been punished enough? Half enough?
Posted by: Glenmore || 11/15/2006 19:00 Comments || Top||

#2  Next time, on The Sopranos . . .
Posted by: Mike || 11/15/2006 19:43 Comments || Top||

#3  Turned him from a 'woofer' into a 'tweeter.'
Posted by: Chinter Flarong || 11/15/2006 19:57 Comments || Top||

#4  Left nut, left calf.
Is that a hook or a slice? I always get them confused...
Posted by: tu3031 || 11/15/2006 20:35 Comments || Top||

Drunk driver shakes snake at cops, runs away
A DRUNK driver threatened two Territory police officers with a live snake after he was pulled over in Darwin at the weekend. The driver allegedly picked up the wild snake, believed to be either a deadly western brown or a harmless water python, ...
Now, that's precise information, by Gum!
... as it slid across the road during a random roadside breath test.

He pointed the reptile's head at the officers and threatened them, before escaping into nearby bushes, still holding the snake. "I felt personally threatened by it," said Constable Dale Howe, who was one of the officers involved. "It was at least a metre long and I'm not very good with snakes - I don't like them.
They taste like chicken. I don't like chicken, it tastes like snake.
"For someone to just go over and pick up a snake off the road is an unusual thing to do.

"I'm not sure what type of snake it was or if it was poisonous, but it was yellowy brown and, to me, a snake is a snake. They are all bad."

Constable Howe was with his colleague Constable Wolfgang Langeneck when they pulled over a Toyota Landcruiser, carrying five passengers, about midnight on Saturday after it was seen to be swerving along Amy Johnson Avenue.

The 17-year-old male driver was asked to step out of the car after he blew .131. As he was being questioned about the reading, he ran on to the road and picked up the snake. Despite endless requests by police to drop the reptile, the man failed to do so.
"Put the snake down, son, and no one gets hurt."
"You'll never take me alive, coppers!"
"P-u-u-u-u-ut the sn-a-a-a-a-ke, do-o-o-w-wn, son."
One of the officers used capsicum spray to disarm him, but he fled the scene into nearby bushes.

Darwin-based snake catcher Chris Peberdy said given the description of the snake and the area it was found, it was a western brown or a water python. "Both of those are commonly found in the Berrimah area," he said.

"I can see why the officers felt threatened. "A snake is as much a threat as a gun as you don't know whether it is loaded or not, as in containing the deadly venom."

Constable Howe, 30, said it is a story you would only hear of in the Territory. "It would be up there as one of the most bizarre things I have experienced in my three years in the force," he said.

The alleged offender has been identified and will be summonsed on charges of exceeding .08 and driving an unregistered vehicle. He will appear in Darwin Magistrates Court at a later date.
Posted by: anonymous5089 || 11/15/2006 06:54 || Comments || Link || E-Mail|| [6465 views] Top|| File under:

#1  He will appear in Darwin Magistrates Court
Posted by: anon || 11/15/2006 7:16 Comments || Top||

#2  Coulda been worse, coulda pulled a sawed off crocodile.
Posted by: Shipman || 11/15/2006 7:44 Comments || Top||

#3  "Watch it, Dale he's got a snake!"
"Damn! I hate snakes! Is it loaded?"
"Dunno, could be a deadly brown."
"All snakes are bad."

I strenuously object to the tone of this story!
Same old thing - blame the snake.
Snakes don't kill people, people uh, um, well...
And we do NOT taste like chicken!
/Slithery, Star Coil, Snakes On A Road
Posted by: .com || 11/15/2006 8:17 Comments || Top||

#4  This sounds like a bad combination of Dazed and Confused and the new thriller, Snakes on a Plane, lol! And, oh the irony of this occurring in Darwin, of all places.
Posted by: BA || 11/15/2006 11:18 Comments || Top||

#5  figgered that this was going to be double entendre type of story concerning some other sort of, er, snake..... sorry, my bad.
Posted by: USN, ret. || 11/15/2006 14:45 Comments || Top||

#6  When snakes are outlawed, only outlaws will have snakes.
Posted by: SteveS || 11/15/2006 15:37 Comments || Top||

#7  I dunno…Constable Wolfgang Langeneck sounds like a wanker an prolly had it cummin.
Posted by: DepotGuy || 11/15/2006 16:08 Comments || Top||

-Short Attention Span Theater-
Deer--Why do they hate us?
Two bizarre incidents involving deer in the Pittsburgh area today:

Deer breaks into bank's financial office (looking for bucks?)

Buck attacks, gores couple

It should be noted that the deer population in PA is skyrocketing. It is the state with the most car accidents involving deer.
Posted by: Dar || 11/15/2006 16:54 || Comments || Link || E-Mail|| [6465 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Kill them.

Eat them.

Problem solved.
Posted by: no mo uro || 11/15/2006 17:54 Comments || Top||

#2  My best deer story concerns a friend, a giant of a man who played the largest drums in an African drum band. He approached me one day and asked if I had any hunter friends, er...um...you know, rednecks who shoot deer?

He had found it terribly hard to purchase large, undamaged deer hides for his drums, so was hoping to "put out a contract" for a deer kill, done with a head shot. He would pay a premium price, and was willing to surrender the meat, though he also liked venison.

And though it seemed very unnatural to him, eventually he ended up buying a hunting rifle and other accoutrements to do it himself. The deciding factor was that he would also end up with a refrigerator full of venison.

He said it was the oddest thing, once he had made some hunter friends, to go to a hunter's bar. Nobody quite knew how to take him until they saw the big-ass buck in the back of his pickup truck.

They got along fine after that.
Posted by: Anonymoose || 11/15/2006 17:58 Comments || Top||

#3  Does anyone recall the 911 tape made a decade ago of the man who hit a deer with his car? He stopped to phone the police from a phone booth, where he was attacked by a neighborhood dog (smelling like blood, deer, and being a stranger in the area). The tape goes on and on with a crowd of dispatchers laughing gleefully as this guy relates in realtime the dog's antics in biting his leg.

It's soo funny I cried.
Posted by: Skidmark || 11/15/2006 23:13 Comments || Top||

Grim Milestone: Coyote attacks in Tucson suburb up to 7
About 40 miles due WSW of where I live.

Officials continue to patrol the Green Valley area after another coyote was killed Monday and three more people reported being bitten. Two people were bitten in separate incidents Monday evening and another reported being bitten Sunday outside their residences near the Canoa Hills and San Ignacio golf clubs on the south side of Green Valley, officials said.

Since the beginning of the canintafada month, seven people have been bitten by a coyote or coyotes. As many coyotes have been killed and are undergoing or have undergone rabies testing, although none is believed to be rabid, said Tom Whetten, a spokesman for the Arizona Game and Fish office in Tucson. Four of those coyotes tested negative for rabies and the results for the remaining three are still pending, said Bill Frank, an epidemiologist with the Arizona Department of Health Services.

Two of the latest bite incidents occurred within about 11 minutes of each other in the 3800 block of South Placita de la Moneda and the 1500 block of West Calle Zuniga about 6 p.m., said Deputy Dawn Barkman, a Pima County Sheriff's Department spokeswoman.

The coyote was shot to death by a USDA wildlife specialist as it was seen leaving the second residence, Whetten said. The bite that occurred Sunday was reported Tuesday morning, but no details were available about that incident. All who were bitten suffered minor injuries, Barkman said.

Evidence that residents have been insulting the Coyoran feeding the animals include bones and scraps that have been found in the area and the fact that all seven of the coyotes were extremely heavy and well fed.

The Arizona Department of Game and Fish believes that only one coyote is actually biting people because the behavior is the same in each case, Whetten said. It was not known if the coyote killed Monday is the one responsible for the attacks, Whetten said.

Staying out of the area until I know they can tell the difference between a coyote and a jackal.
Posted by: Jackal || 11/15/2006 11:21 || Comments || Link || E-Mail|| [6497 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Quagmire!
Posted by: anonymous5089 || 11/15/2006 11:38 Comments || Top||

#2  maybe they are just angry because they keep shooting their friends.
Posted by: anon || 11/15/2006 11:41 Comments || Top||

#3  I, for one, welcome our new Canine Overlords.
Posted by: Kent Brockman || 11/15/2006 11:57 Comments || Top||

#4  Strange. Generally, Coyotes take off whenever they are seen by people. However, they can breed with some types of domestic dogs, and cross-breeding would change behavior.
Posted by: Sneaze Shaiting3550 || 11/15/2006 11:59 Comments || Top||

#5  Can we breed them and deploy them along the whole border? Assuming they like Mexican food.
Posted by: Glenmore || 11/15/2006 12:11 Comments || Top||

#6  Caninetafada? Oh dear. But if the idiots were feeding them, and then somebody didn't... they're just lucky stupidity doesn't always have a Darwinian outcome.
Posted by: trailing wife || 11/15/2006 12:18 Comments || Top||

#7  lol, TW! Why do I have a mental image of you feeding a coyote tea and crumpets?
Posted by: BA || 11/15/2006 14:18 Comments || Top||

#8  Coyotes can't read, they thought the new 'ACME' warehouse was open and they were just in buying supplies for catching road runnerus fastimaximus.
Posted by: USN, ret. || 11/15/2006 14:47 Comments || Top||

#9  Coyotes are one of the few species to actually do better once people move in to their environments. The locals probably aren't feeding them in the way most of us think, however....coyotes are scavengers after all. Must be some fine garbage pickin' in the neighborhood (along with a few tasty cats and small dogs.)
Posted by: Swamp Blondie || 11/15/2006 18:51 Comments || Top||

#10  Since Oregon banned hunting mountain loins with dogs, the mountain loin population is rapidly increasing. And mountain loin foraging in the suburbs is way up, with a lot of Fluffies, Snowballs, and Rovers ending up as takeout for the visitors.
Posted by: Shieldwolf || 11/15/2006 18:56 Comments || Top||

#11  Tea and crumpets, BA? Only if they come to the table and sit up nicely like ladies and gentlemen. ;-)
Posted by: trailing wife || 11/15/2006 18:58 Comments || Top||

#12  I work at Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory, just a stone's throw away from UC-Berkeley and the city itself.

We have had reliable mountain lion sightings on-site within the last month, evidece of a mountain lion deer kill on-site within the last 3 months, and additional evidence that the lab is home or host to at least 1 mountain lion for at least the last 3-5 years.

Whenever and wherever you have deer or evidence of deer, according to local wildlife experts, you are within the hunting range (in CA at least) of at least 1 mountain lion.

I personally saw a dead coyote on the road to work in the hills along Kirker Pass Road above Pittsburg, CA just the other night.

We regularly hear of coyotes in the outskirts of where I live in Antioch, CA.

"Life finds a way."

Posted by: FOTSGreg || 11/15/2006 20:05 Comments || Top||

#13  I have a pack living about 4 houses down.
Posted by: anonymous2u || 11/15/2006 23:50 Comments || Top||

One swallow, and it was gone...
Sorry, Korora, honest.
Nature, red in tooth, claw and sometimes rump, is a cruel beast.

Birdwatchers who flocked with their high-powered binoculars, telescopes and long lenses to see a rare Mediterranean visitor to Lunan Bay, near Montrose, got more than they bargained for. They watched in horror as the red-rumped swallow was attacked and eaten by a Scottish sparrowhawk.

Local enthusiasts spotted the swallow, which had taken a wrong turning on its migration route from southern Europe to its wintering grounds in Africa. Word that it had arrived on the East Coast of Scotland spread quickly, and a large crowd had gathered to watch it flying over the beach.

The swallow’s fatal mistake was to take a rest high on the roof of a nearby farm building. The twitchers watched in disbelief as the large hawk appeared, swooped on the swallow, crushed it with its powerful talons and flew off with its tasty Mediterranean dinner.

Continued on Page 49
Posted by: .com || 11/15/2006 00:16 || Comments || Link || E-Mail|| [6466 views] Top|| File under:

#1  It's a dirty job, but someone's got to do it ...

Wait for it ...

Right then! Was it an African swallow or a European swallow?
Posted by: Zenster || 11/15/2006 0:28 Comments || Top||

#2  And that, dear children, is the reason why red-rumped swallows are rare on the East Coast of Scotland.
Posted by: GK || 11/15/2006 0:45 Comments || Top||

#3  Well, you have to know these things when you're a king, you know.
Posted by: tzsenator || 11/15/2006 0:52 Comments || Top||

#4  I don't know that!



/not to the Holy Grail's Bridge of Death
Posted by: OldSpook || 11/15/2006 1:34 Comments || Top||

#5  grrr... NOD not NOT.
Posted by: OldSpook || 11/15/2006 1:35 Comments || Top||

#6  Global warming is somehow to blame.
Posted by: Lou || 11/15/2006 1:46 Comments || Top||

#7  I searched the world over,
And thought I found true love.
You met another
And Phht! you were gone.

/10-point Trophy Buck... Owens
Posted by: .com || 11/15/2006 1:56 Comments || Top||

#8  Let me guess: The red-rumped swallow had not paided its required carbon tax?
Posted by: 3dc || 11/15/2006 2:14 Comments || Top||

#9  OldSpook, that you are a fan of Monty Python (whom I've seen live - at the Hollywood Bowl), makes everything complete. Not that I thought you weren't, mind you. It's just that knowing this for sure is ever so pleasant.

My left upper appendage sports a hand that grasped the upper-right arm of John Cleese during his "Gannet Ripple on a Stick" sketch. I've yet to wash it since.
Posted by: Zenster || 11/15/2006 2:50 Comments || Top||

#10  Well if its stupid enough to turn up to scotland in a red coat , expect to get stuffed

English eventually learnt the lesson but I guess noone told the swallow about dress code in the highlands :)
Posted by: MacNails || 11/15/2006 5:21 Comments || Top||

#11  The sparrowhawk, Accipiter nisus, is a large and common predatory native that preys on at least 120 species of small bird as well as on small mammals. The swallow, by contrast, lives on a diet of insects that it catches on the wing.

A clear case of evil carnivore vs. good insectivore (I know, I'm not sure why one hunter is better than the other just because the animals it eats are smaller and have more legs)... and evil won this time. Would it have been more sporting had the foreign invader been eaten by a native swallow instead? What is it about "newspapers of record" and bad writing with exquisite grammar?
Posted by: trailing wife || 11/15/2006 6:31 Comments || Top||

#12  "The sparrowhawk, Accipiter nisus, is a large and common predatory native that preys on at least 120 species of small bird as well as on small mammals. The swallow, by contrast, lives on a diet of insects that it catches on the wing."

Why was nobody "horrified" about the helpless insects snuffed out by this foreign invader?

/bunny-hugger mode off
Posted by: no mo uro || 11/15/2006 6:37 Comments || Top||

#13  Had anyone of those birdwatchers brought a gun instead of a useless camera this would have not happenned.

How about opening a chapter of the NRA in Scotland?
Posted by: JFM || 11/15/2006 7:21 Comments || Top||

#14  I think birdwatchers who bring guns are called "hunters".
Posted by: anonymous5089 || 11/15/2006 7:36 Comments || Top||

#15  Maybe we could open a dialog with the hawk to try and understand what the sparrow did to warrant being eaten? My guess is the hawk is mearely reacting to a long held anger against the sparrows forefathers. If we could get the hawk to talk it out I'm sure it would come to the realization that we are all birds together on this planet and we can live in harmony as long as we all understand each others needs and honor the good aspects of each species culture. Then it could live peaceably with the sparrow until the hawk starved to death.
Posted by: BrerRabbit || 11/15/2006 8:41 Comments || Top||

#16  Accipiter nisus is the species of peace and love.
Posted by: mrp || 11/15/2006 9:24 Comments || Top||

#17  I saw one snap up a chipmunk once. If you blinked, you'd have missed it.
Posted by: tu3031 || 11/15/2006 9:27 Comments || Top||

#18  Its Bush's Fault!

Lets have a full investigation! I want hearings! I want a Special Procecutor! I know Karl Rove is behind this somewhere! I want a Pony!

-- Speaker Pelosi

Those Marines are cold Blooded killers! Look what they did to that Sparrow! I want them brought up on charges! Oooohhhh... money......

--- Congress[man?] Murtha
Posted by: CrazyFool || 11/15/2006 9:34 Comments || Top||

#19  Reminds me of the seal(?) the animal rescuers saved and brought back to health. They released it into the sea with much fanfare and a huge gathering. Only to watch in horror as an orca snatched it.
Posted by: Pappy || 11/15/2006 10:03 Comments || Top||

#20  Pappy: Which reminds of that exploding whale footage. It doesn't get any better than this, folks.

Posted by: Excalibur || 11/15/2006 10:31 Comments || Top||

#21  Rofl! Oh man, I sure hope mucky doesn't drop by and see this...
Posted by: .com || 11/15/2006 10:35 Comments || Top||

#22  Was it carrying a coconut?
Posted by: mojo || 11/15/2006 10:37 Comments || Top||

#23  Why doesn't anyone think of the poor, easily traumatized birdwatchers? Think of all the socialist money spent on therapy damnit!! Won't somebody think of the accountants!
Posted by: DarthVader || 11/15/2006 11:18 Comments || Top||

#24  Ya Pappy me too. My two sons, 9 & 11, were watching it and they both were shocked! Then they looked at me, I had no idea what to say through my tears of laughter,then the oldest said "circle of life I guess" and the conversation was over. I about wet my pants laughing. Wish I had taped that scene.
Posted by: 49 Pan || 11/15/2006 11:23 Comments || Top||

#25  That exploding whale should stand as a lesson to all red-rumped swallows to wear bomb vests.
Posted by: Zenster || 11/15/2006 13:36 Comments || Top||

#26  Wasn't it Mel Blanc that said it best: " You're a chicken, and I'm a chickenhawk." Same principle, the stupid shall be eaten. Undoubtedly a male red-rumped sparrow. " And how do you know that" he asked.
Because the story says the bird took a wrong turn and didn't ask directions.
Posted by: USN, ret. || 11/15/2006 14:52 Comments || Top||

#27  Blowing the whale is a stinky dirty game
No comment.
Posted by: wxjames || 11/15/2006 15:18 Comments || Top||

#28  Something like this happened a while back, except it was an American bird that wandered into Britain and got et. I like birdies n wildlife n such, but:

We had just phoned local birdwatchers to tell them of this rare occurrence. Then we had to ring them back and tell them it had been eaten.

It would take a heart of stone not to laugh at that.
Posted by: Angie Schultz || 11/15/2006 16:46 Comments || Top||

Today's Idiots
Mid-flight sexual play lands couple afoul of anti-terrorism law

A couple's ill-concealed sexual play aboard a Southwest Airlines flight from Los Angeles got them charged with violating the Patriot Act, intended for terrorist acts, and could land them in jail for 20 years.
I really don't know how you could conceal 'sexual play' on a 737. An Airbus A380 maybe ...
According to their indictment, Carl Persing and Dawn Sewell were allegedly snuggling and kissing inappropriately, "making other passengers uncomfortable," when a flight attendant asked them to stop.
"Mom, what's that man doing with his face in that lady's lap?"
"Persing was observed nuzzling or kissing Sewell on the neck, and ... with his face pressed against Sewell's vaginal area. During these actions, Sewell was observed smiling," reads the indictment filed by the Federal Bureau of Investigation.
"Oh, oh Carl, make me a woman!"
On a second warning from the flight attendant, Persing snapped back threatening the flight attendant with "serious consequences" if he did not leave them alone.
'cause he's big heat and all.
The comment was enough to have the couple, both in their early 40s, arrested when the plane reached its destination in Raleigh, North Carolina, and charged with obstructing a flight attendant and with criminal association.
I can't say whether it's criminal but it's definitely stooopid ...
They have been placed under legal surveillance until their trial on February 5. If found guilty, they both could be sent to jail for up to 20 years.
I'm trying really hard to feel sorry for them but I'm not succeeding very well.
Persing's lawyer William Peregoy said his client was not feeling well when he placed his head on his companion's lap, ...
Does that qualify as an in-flight lap dance?
... and that he only threatened the flight attendant with reporting him to his superiors on landing.
I'm still waiting to hear the retort, 'for what'?
Posted by: Steve White || 11/15/2006 00:00 || Comments || Link || E-Mail|| [6465 views] Top|| File under:

#1  LOL > OTOH, iff legend is correct the MILE HIGH CLUB has never been, and still aren't, being stopped. "Sewell's vaginal area" > someone tell the Editor dats TOO MUCH INFORMATION.
Posted by: JosephMendiola || 11/15/2006 0:19 Comments || Top||

#2  They should copy Islam and blame it on somebody... I know. Blame it on Jihadist Terrorists who have ruined the Mile High Club. Maybe even they could sue Binny in the ICC?

Posted by: 3dc || 11/15/2006 2:17 Comments || Top||

#3  "both in their early 40's"

Sometimes age does not bring wisdom.

Posted by: frozen al || 11/15/2006 9:13 Comments || Top||

#4  No more viagra before taking a flight.
Posted by: anonymous5089 || 11/15/2006 11:26 Comments || Top||

#5  Anyway, they were lucky in that sense this wasn't a flight to pakistan.
Posted by: anonymous5089 || 11/15/2006 11:27 Comments || Top||

#6  Persing's lawyer William Peregoy said his client was not feeling well when he placed his head on his companion's lap

It happens to the best of us at times there bud, but a real man keeps going. In the future though, you might want to do that only after she's had a shower.
Posted by: Thoth || 11/15/2006 16:03 Comments || Top||

#7  I can see why they didn't fly Virgen Atlantic.
Posted by: Sgt. D.T. || 11/15/2006 19:09 Comments || Top||

#8  I've been wondering all day; did they know each other before they boarded the plane?
Posted by: GK || 11/15/2006 20:02 Comments || Top||

Africa North
Egyptian police arrest 8 at anti-harassment rally
Police arrested eight men and women Tuesday as they tried to stage a protest against the sexual harassment of women, police and political activists said. About 50 demonstrators, mostly women assembled in downtown Cairo to protest an alleged assault last month when young hooligans attacked women strolling along a busy shopping street, groping them and tearing their clothes, as police looked on.

The demonstrators wanted to protest outside the Metro Cinema, the site of last month's reported assault. But hundreds of riot police and plainclothes security agents surrounded the protesters and pushed and shoved them into a nearby coffee shop and closed the doors, witnesses told The Associated Press. About 90 minutes later, police detained eight of the demonstrators and allowed the remainder to go home, police and the witnesses said.
Posted by: Fred || 11/15/2006 00:00 || Comments || Link || E-Mail|| [6464 views] Top|| File under:

5 small tsunamis hit northern Japan
Posted by: anonymous5089 || 11/15/2006 08:46 || Comments || Link || E-Mail|| [6480 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Heard the LOUD RISING RUMBLE NOISE of a quake begin but then stopped, unlike previous day(s) whem felt the tremors but little to no noise. ALso. EM "sparks/bends" in local gravity fields.
Posted by: JosephMendiola || 11/15/2006 22:21 Comments || Top||

Science & Technology
Archaeological Find: Essenes Were Horribly Infested With Worms
Following directions in the Dead Sea Scrolls, archeologists have found the latrines used by the sect that produced the scrolls, discovering that efforts to achieve ritual purity inadvertently exposed members to intestinal parasites that shortened their lives.

The young male zealots who established their sect at Qumran chose a life of austerity and isolation, but they could not have foreseen the hardships created by their religiously imposed toilet practices, researchers said Monday.

"They paid a high price for their holiness," said archeologist James D. Tabor of the University of North Carolina at Charlotte, one of the coauthors of a paper appearing in the international journal Revue de Qumran.
Continued on Page 49
Posted by: Anonymoose || 11/15/2006 10:21 || Comments || Link || E-Mail|| [6473 views] Top|| File under:

#1  I think there is something wrong with me. I read the article, looked at the scroll photo and suddenly imagined a GOATSE version.
Posted by: Excalibur || 11/15/2006 10:43 Comments || Top||

#2  LOL!
Posted by: Mark E. || 11/15/2006 12:02 Comments || Top||

#3  Excalibur - you owe me a new keyboard!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Yosemite Sam || 11/15/2006 12:04 Comments || Top||

#4  the scrolls were copies produced by a small sect, generally called the Essenes, who lived at Qumran.

Small sect? Numerically smaller than the other two sects at the time, yes: the Sadducees, who followed exactly the ancient rituals of the Temple in Jerusalem, led by the Kohens of the priestly family, and the Pharisees, led by the rabbis, who tried to discern the reasons for those rituals and devise modern ways to satisfy the reasons without the need for animal sacrifice and the literal "eye for an eye" that the Sadducees insisted upon (thus the invention of prayer services and the concept of payment for lost wages). The Essenes, on the other hand, awaited imminent arrival of the Messiah, who would establish God's kingdom on earth through the sword... and they were to be his conquering army. Their own writings, when not concerned with the minutia of their exhaustive purity rituals, were eschatologies much like those found in the New Testament. They disappeared along with the Sadduccees following the Roman destruction of Jerusalem, and I for one do not regret it.
Posted by: trailing wife || 11/15/2006 12:06 Comments || Top||

#5  The group was not allowed to defecate on the Sabbath -- thus I believe we can now trace the near universal aversion to Mondays to it's genesis.

(Ignore the fact that the Sabbath was Saturday - poetic license invoked.)
Posted by: GORT || 11/15/2006 12:23 Comments || Top||

#6  Essenes Were Horribly Infested With Worms

All that awaits is a causal link to the Diet of Worms.
Posted by: Zenster || 11/15/2006 14:11 Comments || Top||

#7  Now Zenster owes ME a new keyboard.
Posted by: no mo uro || 11/15/2006 17:53 Comments || Top||

#8  (Ignore the fact that the Sabbath was Saturday - poetic license invoked.)

The Christian sabbath is on Sunday, GORT -- your statement works beautifully as it stands.
Posted by: trailing wife || 11/15/2006 19:00 Comments || Top||

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