[Babylon Bee] Officials at the CDC said today that the surprising virulence and persistence of Afghanistan news may require a whole new COVID variant to distract the country from it.
"We’re concerned that the only way to cure the administration of all this bad publicity may be a prolonged, shrieking freak-out over a new COVID variant," said Dr. Ed Whittle, Director of the CDC’s Department for the Cultivation of Existential Dread. "So, we’re working night and day to come up with something really scary that would make the collapse of Afghanistan seem like a Martha’s Vineyard birthday party."
Some of the possible variants that officials are considering include the Gamma variant, which gives victims an extreme desire to turn green and smash; the Bro variant, which causes victims to break out in armband tattoos; and the Kung Fu Movie variant, in which victims’ can no longer make their words match up with their mouth movements.
Dr. Whittle said, "Right now the leading candidate is the Germany variant, because lots of really scary things come from Germany, like Nazis and Rammstein. And if we’re going to wipe the Afghanistan debacle off the front pages, we’re definitely going to need something as scary as heavy metal Germans."
Posted by: Frank G ||
09/09/2021 07:42 ||
Comments ||
Link ||
[3 views]
Top|| File under:
#1
I know it's the bee, but aren't they already talking about the Mu variant?
Posted by: Chris ||
09/09/2021 9:01 Comments ||
Top||
#3
For the anti-vax crowd, I have begun working on a nocturnal CPAP mask COVID meds vapor drip in my basement. Preliminary discussions with Pfizer are encouraging.
#11
^ Huh? Please clarify, lest this haunt me. Also, not to derail the thread, but...
In an uncooled N-- O------ Ogg dwelt
Alongside the old P----- Belt,
Where his means of escape
Were a bag and some tape
When a noisome miasma he smelt.
Of course he'd probably use something a bit more technical today. RGB? Coban instead of masking tape? Balloon vendor of the apocalypse, like (always lookin' out for the neighbors, ol' Ogg!).
h/t Hot Air
[The Week] - Stereotypes tend to lag reality. Wall Street is personified by Gordon Gekko, years after his instinctive investing and sartorial flamboyance went out of style. We imagine the foreign policy community is reserved for lock-jawed patricians, a type that's hardly been seen for decades. Judging by movies and TV series like the The Chair, meanwhile, college is a different kind of boy's club, one dominated by strutting jocks among the students and tweedy graybeards on the faculty.
But it's been a long time since that was true. Despite its anachronistic reputation, the college population is increasingly female. Surveying recent data, The Wall Street Journal finds that women made up nearly 60 percent of enrollment in the 2020-21 academic year. Women are not just more likely to attend college, but also more likely to graduate. According to the report, about two thirds of women who enroll at a four-year institution graduate within six years, compared with 59 percent of men.
...Women's success in admissions isn't only a dilemma for colleges trying to balance their books. Because elite institutions hire almost exclusively college graduates, campuses are the point of departure for female dominance of publishing, the culture industry, and areas of the corporate world — particularly the massive human resources industry.
Skeptics might observe that the upper tiers of these fields remain dominated by men. That's right, but largely a generation effect. Today's non-profit trustees, tenured professors, and executive editors began their careers decades ago, when college student bodies were more equally divided (and in some cases, exclusively male). It would be surprising if the gender ratio in upper management remained the same in another 20 years.
...Even though it stands in tension with the principle that the most competent deserve their rewards, I think conservatives have the better argument. The migration of "woke" jargon from campuses to human resources divisions is annoying but not decisive. It's more important that declining educational attainment for men means lower wages and declining marriage rates, which promote family instability. In the long run, un- or under-employed men and unstable households are correlated with violent crime. It's not a straight causal arrow, but the dwindling share of men in higher education and the jobs it supplies could be downright dangerous. Not to mention that while there are women who can do traditional male jobs - they are just as common as men capable of doing traditional female jobs.
#5
The dems have recently taken steps to make the Military Academy nomination and selection process more inclusive and diverse. Academy staffing continues to be filled with unwoke... you know who's, and obviously remains an issue. Much work remains yet to be done.
#14
Again I say, you must look at the degrees those women are getting. And I think the really smart guys who belong in college are still there. Now they can take their pick of the Mrs. majors.
Posted by: Abu Uluque ||
09/09/2021 13:17 Comments ||
Top||
#15
declining educational attainment for men means lower wages
This has been true in the past; but I wonder if things are changing with the oversupply of worthless degrees. The largely female BAs working as baristas at Starbucks are your first clue. The largely male welders making $90K per year without any student debt are your second clue. You may not be interested in supply and demand, but supply and demand is interested in you.
Posted by: Tom ||
09/09/2021 13:46 Comments ||
Top||
#16
I foresee a future filled with unopened pickle jars, huge spiders lurking in corners and unreachable objects on high shelves.
#17
at least when they pee in the dark they wont piss all over the outhouse thrown and in a cold climate we will have legal toilet seat warmers like plantation bed warmers! remain CLAM!
#18
I remember my older sister complaining that her PhD in Education had a lower average salary than many Engineering BSs started at. I wisely didn't say a thing...
#4
I would think that the publisher would clear things to make sure they weren't going to prison as well. I would also think the intelligence services would want to find out how he got classified info.
#7
I gave BOR a pass on his interviewing style because at the time the people he was interviewing would attempt to "filibuster" -- refusing to answer the question succinctly and repeating their 'Talking Points' until the time ran out.
#8
/\...and Yes that was the beginning of a growing distaste on interview segments that involved partisan affairs. It was a Kabuki performance instead of informative.
#3
Personally, I'd rather not experience Covid to get, a strictly temporary*, advantage. But then, I'm (thank G*d) not a Trumphead American Conservative.
#7
if you consider that to earn an EUA for a 'vaccine' then there must not be any other valid treatment, then the rabid hatred of ivermectin makes (some) sense.
the elites are simply protecting who they are told to protect, in this case the pharm companies. while then the useful idiots in the media and our 'friends' on the left take their statements and run with it.
#14
#12 Because being a vaccinated anti-vaxxer is ridiculous, Francis.
#10 Be your age Abu - anybody else would've been POTUS at the time, the vaccines would be the same.
p.s. Astra-Zeneca is British and BioNTech in Pfizer-BioNTech is German.
#18
Ok, looks like everyone's all fired up. How about a pik-me-up story, this one from Salt Lake City Hospital, about a male nurse who performs a girl ballet segment in the empty acoustically grand entrance, called, "Stunning and Brave"
Wait, now, do not pay attention to the intro nurses doing masks wrong - Especially Beard Boy - and be patient (see what I did there) for the dancing nurse.
#22
In grom's defense, he does help prevent this place from becoming an echo chamber. Also, if there were a case to be made for lockdowns, masks, mandatory vaccines, not pursuing valid treatment options, I'd want to hear it. Unfortunately, everything so far could have come from Fauci himself.
Posted by: Frank G ||
09/09/2021 20:02 Comments ||
Top||
#24
#22 - I appreciate that. My issue starts with the simple fact he relates a short period of time spent in the actual US with a overall understanding of our body politic/culture. The most resistant to vaxxing is the minority communities of blacks, hispanics, not "Trumpheads"
Posted by: Frank G ||
09/09/2021 20:06 Comments ||
Top||
#28
#22 In grom's defense
Angstom,
(r) has wished the following upon white Americans who choose not to vax:
Financial Ruin
Death
Gloating upon the death of notable white Americans.
Direct Translation via Google Translate. Edited. By Dmitry Steshin
[KP] Dmitry Steshin, as a Leningrader and a Petersburger, talks about the Blockade with a famous translator and historian, also a Leningrad and Petersburger, Dmitry Puchkov (Goblin).
He makes several excellent points about the potential invasion of Taiwan by China starting at 1:25. I didn't know that Taiwan can quickly assemble a few nukes given a week's advance notice.
Direct Translation via Google Translate. Edited. by Vladimir Pavlenko
[Regnum] Tensions continue to escalate between the two shores of the Taiwan Strait. Recently, Taiwan accused China of nineteen PLA Air Force planes flying over its islands and territorial waters; they allegedly "violated" the island's airspace. Taipei said it was the "largest" violation in the past three months (the period since June, when the Taiwanese authorities resented the "invasion" of 28 aircraft).
#1
* China can't feed itself
Trump cut off chinese access to high end chip making equipment so they will soon be left with exporting plastic crap.
Dems have started pushing a Plastic tax (stupid move but would really hurt China).
* President favored by China is super-unpopular.
I think Pax China may be over before it really began.
#2
China is utterly dependent on middle east oil. A naval blockade would be trivial to arrange, either in the Persian Gulf or Strait of Malacca. Then they run out of oil in 2 months.
Posted by: Herb Bucket7723 ||
09/09/2021 0:35 Comments ||
Top||
#3
So, Taiwan is poised to invade the mainland is it, Vladimir?
Posted by: ed in texas ||
09/09/2021 10:28 Comments ||
Top||
#4
FDR had a great idea to curb Japan's imperialism in 1937 also...
Be careful, very careful when you try to paint someone into a corner
A multi-volume chronology and reference guide set detailing three years of the Mexican Drug War between 2010 and 2012.
Rantburg.com and borderlandbeat.com correspondent and author Chris Covert presents his first non-fiction work detailing
the drug and gang related violence in Mexico.
Chris gives us Mexican press dispatches of drug and gang war violence
over three years, presented in a multi volume set intended to chronicle the death, violence and mayhem which has
dominated Mexico for six years.
Rantburg was assembled from recycled algorithms in the United States of America. No
trees were destroyed in the production of this weblog. We did hurt some, though. Sorry.
[Babylon Bee] Officials at the CDC said today that the surprising virulence and persistence of Afghanistan news may require a whole new COVID variant to distract the country from it.
For the anti-vax crowd, I have begun working on a nocturnal CPAP mask COVID meds vapor drip in my basement. Preliminary discussions with Pfizer are encouraging. 
My new pool-Love IT!!
