It's Kurt
Ahoy, suckers! Conservative, Inc., is back at it again, trading in its classic cruise ship motif for a figurative dinghy in its never-ending quest to separate you from your money and themselves from the shredded tatters of their ruined dignity.
Woke Rule No. 1 is that anything with "Principles" in its name is a grift. Now, something called "Principles First" ‐ ugh ‐ is trying to shoehorn into CPAC’s spotlight with its "National Summit on Principled Conservatism" to be held in D.C. on February 29th, and for the low, low, almost certainly lib tech tycoon-subsidized price of $10, you can attend this sexless Never Trump Freaknik.
...From political consultants who are no longer consulted to writers who are no longer read, this is the Woodstock for conservatives who never actually conserved anything.
...Who’s coming to this soiree? Well, just imagine the universe’s worst county fair dino-rock concert line-up, and this is its political equivalent. Mona Charen! Bill Kristol! David Frum! It’s basically the Swamp’s version of Bachman Turner Overdrive, Blue Öyster Cult, and Average White Band ‐ except this band of totally white people are well below-average,
...Sadly, Ana Navarro isn’t on the bill, but she probably has important work to do completing Dr. Stephen Hawking’s string theory research. And there’s no sign of Jennifer Rubin, probably because the event occurs during the hours of daylight.
OK, I LOL'd
...So, what’s on the agenda? The magic begins at 9:00 a.m. sharp, with "Registration, Networking Breakfast, Meet & Greet." Get there early before the ex-Weekly Standard staffers make off with all the donuts. And be sure to snag a photo with super-plausible 2016 candidate Evan McMullin, but if he asks to borrow a couple bucks because he "left his wallet at home," don’t count on getting paid back.
...In the era of Bernie Sanders being the alternative to Trump, the Never Trump rump faction has managed to do what we all thought was impossible ‐ become even less relevant to the debate. There’s no point to them anymore. You’re either for Trump, or for the communist, and for 99.9999% of Republicans, even those who still sniff at Trump, Bernie is a Bolshevik too far.
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