Article

2007-10-17 -Lurid Crime Tales-

Dallas homeowner shoots, kills intruder after parrot's warning

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Posted by tu3031 2007-10-17 15:27|| || Front Page|| [5 views ] Top

#1 If I dood it the mods will be mad at me... I dood it.
Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check."

"Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog Spike. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" "I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!"

When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.

The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name-calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"

To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"

Men just don't listen!

Posted by GK 2007-10-17 16:00|| 2007-10-17 16:00|| Front Page Top

#2 A burglar got into a house one night. Shining his flashlight on the floor in the dark, he heard a voice saying, "Jesus is watching you."

He looked around nervously, shook his head, and kept looking for valuables. He again heard, "Jesus is watching you."

This time, he shone his light all over, and it rested on a parrot.

He asked, "Did you say that?"

The parrot admitted that it had. "I'm just trying to warn you, that's all."

The burglar said, "Warn me, huh? Who are you? What's your name?"

"Moses."

"Well, what kind of stupid people would name a parrot 'Moses'?"

The bird answered, "I don't know; I guess the same folks who would name a Rottweiler 'Jesus'."

Posted by gorb 2007-10-17 16:48|| 2007-10-17 16:48|| Front Page Top

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