The regrettably named Norwegian underwear brand Comfyballs was all set to make its big debut in the U.S. this year when it was shut down by the country's patent and trademark office. A trademark on Comfyballs, USPTO argued, was just too vulgar for Americans to accept. Really? Haven't they watched anything on TV these days?
The Independent reports on the tribulations of the company, which was already comforting balls across Australia, New Zealand, Scandinavia, and the U.K. when its trademark application was denied: Buncha sqeemish noodnicks. The Puritans have returned. What next?
But American authorities banned it from operating under that name, finding that, "in the context of the applicant's goods... Comfyballs means only one thing - that a man's testicles, or 'balls,' will be comfortable in the applicant's undergarments. So we have to keep enduring the torture. Heaven forbid men should be comfortable.
"The mark does not create a double entendre or other idiomatic expression... When used in this way, the word, 'balls' has an offensive meaning."
What makes Comfyballs so comfy? According to the company, the fist-sized crotch protrusion you see on the pair above isn't just for looks. Au contraire, it is the pinnacle of testicular technology: I like that phrase. Testicular Technology. Kind alliterative.
Package Front™ is designed to keep your equipment in place, while being lifted away from the inside of your thighs, preventing unnecessary heating of the balls. Extremely curved panels combined with innovative use of elastic fabric seams lift the user experience to a new level!
Citing successful trademarks on brands like "Nice balls," and "I love my balls," Comfyballs founder Anders Selvig told the Independent he'd like to see the USPTO review its decision to pan his application. Until then, Hanes and Fruit of the Loom will have to suffice for owners of insufficiently cushioned scrotums.
Posted by: Deacon Blues ||
12/19/2014 00:00 ||
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#1
Schweaty balls?
Posted by: Super Hose ||
12/19/2014 0:25 Comments ||
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#4
Looks like something only a Sitzpinkler could love. Do your business, then two minutes of adjustments would be required to get everything properly arranged.
#1
Sounds like the technology that we used to get message traffic from radio to the bridge. Aren't we still paying for the bullet train that will never be built?
Posted by: Super Hose ||
12/19/2014 0:22 Comments ||
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#2
I thought Elon was only yelling about how dangerous AI's were (at the present time)
https://twitter.com/elonmusk
[Khaama (Afghanistan)] Another individual involved in gang-rape of four women in Paghman district of Kabul has been placed in durance vile Keep yer hands where we can see 'em, if yez please! by the Afghan national security forces.
The Afghan Intelligence ‐ National Directorate of Security ...the Afghan national intel agency... (NDS) said Friday that one of the perpetrators of Paghman gang-rape was arrested by intelligence operatives from Paghman district.
A statement by NDS said the perpetrator was identified as Farzullah who is originally a resident of Paghman district.
The statement further added Farzullah was arrested along with one of his comrades identified as Aminullah.
According to NDS, the detained individual has confessed that he was assisting the rapists by providing transportation and other facilities.
Farzullah has also admitted that the group was informed regarding the vehicle in which the women were travelling and crossing the area, NDS said, adding that Farzullah has charged the group 5000 AFS for facilitating the gang-rape of the women.
Five of the perpetrators involved in the gang rape of the women in Paghman district were hanged to death in Pul-e-Charkhi prison of Kabul earlier in October.
The executed individuals included Azizullah, Nazar Mohammad, Qaisullah, Samiullah and Habibullah.
Posted by: Fred ||
12/19/2014 13:41 ||
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[AnNahar] Colombia's FARC guerrillas declared an indefinite, unilateral ceasefire on Wednesday in the 50-year conflict, saying they would only use weapons if they came under attack by the army.
The announcement -- the third year running the leftist rebels have declared a ceasefire over the holiday season -- comes soon after peace talks with the Colombian government resumed, following a crisis triggered by the capture of an army general on November 16.
Wednesday's move was noteworthy for the lack of an expiration date, but President Juan Manuel Santos has consistently refused to reciprocate.
"We have resolved to declare a unilateral ceasefire and end hostilities for an indefinite period of time, which should be transformed into an armistice," said the rebels' peace negotiators in Cuba, where they are in talks with Colombian officials.
"This unilateral ceasefire, which we hope will last a long time, will end only if our guerrilla units have been the subject of attacks by the security forces."
The ceasefire will take effect at one minute past midnight on Saturday, said a statement posted on the website of the rebel delegation to the peace talks. The guerrilla group called for international observers from organizations including the Red Thingy to monitor.
The rebels have repeatedly called for a bilateral ceasefire as part of the ongoing grinding of the peace processor.
But Santos, who has made the peace talks his top political priority, has rejected the demand, saying the guerrillas could take advantage of a truce to regroup, dragging out the conflict.
However, the difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits... the ceasefire announcement will put new pressure on the Colombian government to respond in kind, said political scientist Jorge Restrepo, the head of the Conflict Analysis Resource Center in Colombia.
"This obliges the government to respond in one way or another to this gesture," he told AFP.
- On-off talks -
The FARC (Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia FARC or FARC-EP, is either a Marxist-Leninist revolutionary guerrilla organization or a drug cartel based in Colombia. It claims to represent the rural poor in a struggle against Colombia's wealthier classes, and opposes United States influence in Colombia, neo-imperialism, monopolization of natural resources by multinational corporations, and the usual raft of complaints. It funds itself principally through ransom kidnappings, taxation of the drug trade, extortion, shakedowns, and donations. It has lately begun calling itself Bolivarian and is greatly admired by Venezuela's President-for-Life Chavez, who seemingly fantasizes about living in the woods and kidnapping people himself. He provides FARC with safe areas along the border. ) defended their capture of an army general as a legitimate act of war, but released him on November 30 in order to revive the grinding of the peace processor.
Santos had suspended the talks in the wake of the kidnapping.
The rebels, in their statement Wednesday, also criticized Santos for what they said was his "putting on display, once again, his delight on Twitter over the deaths of some of our comrades in arms."
As part of the reopening of the negotiations, the two sides agreed to set up a "permanent mechanism" to resolve any future crisis, to be overseen by Cuba and Norway, the countries shepherding the grinding of the peace processor, Norwegian diplomat Dag Nagoda has said.
The two-year-old talks in the Cuban capital Havana are the most promising effort yet to end the five-decade conflict, which has defied three previous attempts.
Negotiations have so far produced agreements on land reform, fighting the drug trafficking that has fueled the conflict, and political participation for guerrilla fighters.
The conflict has killed more than 220,000 people and uprooted 5.3 million since the FARC was founded in the aftermath of a peasant uprising in 1964.
With an estimated 8,000 fighters, the FARC is the largest rebel group active in a conflict that has at various times also drawn in right-wing paramilitaries and narcos.
Santos has also announced plans to open talks with the second-largest rebel group, the National Liberation Army (ELN), which has an estimated 2,500 fighters.
Vladimir Putin has been named Russia's "Man Of The Year" for the 15th time in a row, Interfax news agency reports.
The Russian president won by a landslide, claiming 68% of votes. The runner-up got only 4% of votes. The poll was conducted by the Public Opinion Foundation and included 1,500 respondents in 43 regions of Russia, according to Interfax.
The propaganda channel Russia Today said of the poll: "The public affirmation about Vladimir Putin's major role in the life of the country looks even more decisive considering researchers within the same poll asked who among scientists and artists was worthy of the mantle. Some 75 percent of Russians said they had no answer to this question."
RT also notes that Putin's approval rating reached a record high this year.
Meanwhile, the Russian economy is in crisis as oil and the ruble crash.
Putin invaded the Ukrainian peninsula of Crimea in March and blamed Ukraine for a commercial airline crash in July that was caused by Russian-backed rebels mistakenly shooting down the plane.
Putin has won the "Man Of The Year" title every year since he rose to power in 1999, when he was appointed prime minister.
RT cites an earlier interview with Putin's press secretary Dmitry Peskov in which he says people's love for Putin is a manifestation of their love for Russia.
#1
I wonder what the over/under is on him making 16. I guess Yakov Smirnoff could ide in as a darkhorse if he provided a way to drop their interest rates to under 5%. I expect he wod be dead though.
Posted by: Super Hose ||
12/19/2014 0:32 Comments ||
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#2
Naturally for someone who plays golf...with meteorites.
#3
I read a rumor that Sony will be filming a re-make of Superman, title role to be played by a short, fat North Korean whose name has not yet been disclosed.
[Dawn] ISLAMABAD: The International Monetary Fund announced Thursday that it had approved the release of $1.05 billion for Pakistain, the fifth installment of a $6.6 billion loan to the nation.
Good money after bad.
The Washington-based lender granted an extended fund facility to Pakistain in September 2013 on the condition that it carry out extensive economic reforms especially in energy and taxation sectors.
The IMF said it had approved release of the new funds after a review of Pakistain's economic performance.
?Macroeconomic conditions are improving, but significant risks to the recovery remain,? IMF first deputy managing director David Lipton said in a statement.
?The measures taken by the authorities to address short-term macroeconomic vulnerabilities and implement structural reforms are bearing fruit, but continued efforts are needed to make the economic transformation more sustainable,? he said.
Plagued by a bloody homegrown Taliban insurgency, Pakistain is battling to get its shaky economy back on track and solve a chronic energy crisis that cripples industry.
Posted by: trailing wife ||
12/19/2014 00:00 ||
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#1
It's not a loan when they don't pay it back.
Posted by: chris ||
12/19/2014 8:51 Comments ||
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A multi-volume chronology and reference guide set detailing three years of the Mexican Drug War between 2010 and 2012.
Rantburg.com and borderlandbeat.com correspondent and author Chris Covert presents his first non-fiction work detailing
the drug and gang related violence in Mexico.
Chris gives us Mexican press dispatches of drug and gang war violence
over three years, presented in a multi volume set intended to chronicle the death, violence and mayhem which has
dominated Mexico for six years.
Rantburg was assembled from recycled algorithms in the United States of America. No
trees were destroyed in the production of this weblog. We did hurt some, though. Sorry.
Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia
“All peoples celebrate Dear Leader’s most humble decision to host the Oscars,” said Sony Pictures Chairman and CEO Michael Lynton.
