You have commented 339 times on Rantburg.

Your Name
Your e-mail (optional)
Website (optional)
My Original Nic        Pic-a-Nic        Sorry. Comments have been closed on this article.
Bold Italic Underline Strike Bullet Blockquote Small Big Link Squish Foto Photo
-Short Attention Span Theater-
Californians Hoping Hurricane Will Wash All Poop Off Sidewalks
2023-08-20
[BEE] CALIFORNIA — Citizens of California are holding out hope that flooding from Hurricane Hilary will wash off the massive amounts of poop clinging to the state's sidewalks.

"Fingers crossed," said Sacramento resident Kevin Ross. "Bring on the floods, baby!"

While concerned about safety, many locals believe a good, strong hurricane could be the best thing that ever happened to California. "We need a reset button," said sanitation worker Stephen Childers. "All day we scrub poop off the sidewalk, but you can't scrub fast enough. I don't want anyone to get hurt by the storm, I'm not cheering for an Old Testament-level flood - but maybe half of that would be good."

With reports coming in that the hurricane has begun to weaken, many Californians have begun work constructing dams to funnel the rainwater towards San Francisco. "The Lord is giving us a chance, now it's up to us to take it," said Bay Area woman Jessica Long. "Can you imagine being able to walk down the street and smell - well - nothing? Time to keep digging."

At publishing time, cities across California were asking residents to dump all available soap onto the streets in preparation.
Posted by:Besoeker

#9  Quit making fun, dammit. It's Armageddon out here as the red pinwheel graphic spins remorselessly toward the sodden shattered ruins of America's Finest City. Submarines breaching like whales! Action Reporter Chase Golightly chiding suicidal scofflaw surfers braving two foot waves! Anchors breathlessly promising to bring us pictures of the first fallen tree they can find! I very much fear that when the wind shifts I'll have to close me windows.
Posted by: Glomomble and Company7723   2023-08-20 19:33  

#8  Tornado warnings for San Diago.
Posted by: Jeremiah Jomosing7109   2023-08-20 19:28  

#7  Mudslide emergency in 5 days. Bet on it.
As for turds on the sidewalk, they love it in Cali. They must.
Posted by: ed in texas   2023-08-20 19:10  

#6  Earthquake in LA.
Posted by: Jeremiah Jomosing7109   2023-08-20 18:23  

#5  It still has that horse with no name.
Posted by: Roth LaDoad   2023-08-20 17:40  

#4  It was my understanding that it never rains in Southern California.
Posted by: Super Hose   2023-08-20 11:48  

#3  Dateline Tomorrow: Environmental Activists warm that floating rafts of disposable syringes, bong pipes and illegal plastic straws are menaces to offshore navigation ...women and children hardest hit.
Posted by: magpie   2023-08-20 08:51  

#2  Hurricane Hillary

Posted by: Skidmark   2023-08-20 07:25  

#1  I understand Newsom got a experienced water guy from Maui.
Posted by: Skidmark   2023-08-20 04:34  

00:00