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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Congress implies UFOs have non-human origins
2022-08-23
[HILL] In Congress, where legislation is drafted, debated and enacted, clear and concise definitions are of paramount importance. As military aircrews increasingly encounter unidentified flying objects (UFOs), lawmakers recently made several striking revisions to the definition of "UFO." Key among them: The explosive implication that some UFOs have non-human origins.

As first reported by researcher Douglas Johnson, a draft bill approved unanimously by the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence rebrands UFOs as "unidentified aerospace-undersea phenomena." Expanding the definition to include objects in space and under the oceans significantly broadens the scope of a muscular new office tasked by Congress with investigating UFOs.

The revised definition of "UFO" also includes "transmedium" objects which, according to lawmakers, "transition between space and the atmosphere, or between the atmosphere and bodies of water."

In short, members of a key national security-focused committee believe that objects of unknown origin are demonstrating remarkably advanced technology by moving seamlessly between space, air and water. A report accompanying the legislation notes that "transmedium threats to United States national security are expanding exponentially."

It strains credulity to believe that lawmakers would include such extraordinary language in public legislation without compelling evidence. Perhaps members have seen the classified sensor data that prompted former President Trump’s director of national intelligence to state that UFOs exhibit "technologies that we don’t have [and] that we are not capable of defending against" (among several other eyebrow-raising comments).

Most strikingly, Congress’s new definition of "UFO" excludes "man-made" objects.
Posted by:Besoeker

#13  After all the sitcoms, news, and other crap we have been broadcasting over the past 50 years - any aliens probably have us quarantined with a high level, fully armed, waring beacon. "Do not approach within 5 light years!"
Posted by: CrazyFool   2022-08-23 23:23  

#12  They are Faithful, still. as they said they would be.
Posted by: newc   2022-08-23 23:05  

#11  If they are so powerful, then do humanity a favor and take the DC pols to someplace like Venus.
Posted by: 3dc   2022-08-23 23:02  

#10  Never understand the whole UFO Crazeâ„¢. If they have the technology /power supplies to 'get here' they should have the ability to do ...Anything. They. Want. "Surrender or be asteroid bombed into extinction like the dinosaurs!" -- that sort of power ...and why should they be so ♫ Nice ♫ as to not demand something?
Posted by: magpie   2022-08-23 21:14  

#9  

But these things land here all the time in my back yard ---- What else am I to do with them?
Posted by: Shosh Platypus1744   2022-08-23 19:16  

#8  Impressive, Steve. We can only hope they turn out to be vegans.
Posted by: Matt   2022-08-23 19:13  

#7  Nasty reference, Steve. Kudos.
Posted by: Mercutio   2022-08-23 19:02  

#6  suppose we finally contact the aliens and it turns out they're transphobic?

Nah, the aliens will be, like, all evolved and stuff. Totally into Karma and all that. Being noble and selfless beings, they will want to know How to Serve Man.
Posted by: SteveS   2022-08-23 18:09  

#5  ...more likely humanphobic.

Wait a minute. We were all told by our government this 'alien' stuff a product of conspiracy nuts.
Posted by: Procopius2k   2022-08-23 16:59  

#4  But, but, suppose we finally contact the aliens and it turns out they're transphobic?
Posted by: Matt   2022-08-23 12:17  

#3  In Congress, where legislation is drafted, debated and enacted, clear and concise definitions are of paramount importance

Stopped reading at this point.
Posted by: Mercutio   2022-08-23 10:01  

#2  "The opportunities for grifting will be out of this world!"
Posted by: SteveS   2022-08-23 09:35  

#1  Yeah.
So does Congress.
Posted by: Skidmark   2022-08-23 00:51  

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