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-Lurid Crime Tales-
Florida man drives stolen truck to Space Force base to warn of battle between aliens, dragons
2022-07-27
[CBS] AMPA, Fla. (WFLA) — A Florida man was arrested Friday for driving a stolen pickup truck to a Space Force Base in Brevard County in what he called a mission from the president of the United States, reports said.

According to WESH 2 News, 29-year-old Corey Johnson, of Ocala, stole a Ford F-150 from Riviera Beach, Florida three days before he drove to Patrick Space Force Base.

When Johnson tried to get on the base, he claimed the President told him in his mind that he needed to take the vehicle and warn government officials that there were U.S. aliens fighting Chinese dragons, WRBW reported.

Johnson was arrested and booked into the Brevard County Jail. He was charged with grand theft of a motor vehicle. Bond was set at $3,000.

Patrick Space Force Base is home to the Cape Canaveral Space Force Station and Space Launch Delta 45, which is described as the premier launch delta of the new United States Space Force. The site is located approximately 18 miles away from the Kennedy Space Center.
Posted by:Besoeker

#6  Sir...President James Dale or President Thomas Whitmore?
Posted by: swksvolFF   2022-07-27 16:27  

#5  And pardon the French, please. 🙃
Posted by: Dron66046   2022-07-27 12:55  

#4  
"Citizen, I am Roosevelt.
Look...moustache, pince nez.
These holes where I was shot.
Lookit ye oldè suspender belt!

"And we shall rid this land,
of vermin most unkempt.
Aliens have come from afar
and pitched here their..."

"Aliens? We're huntin' a.. aliens?
Like space creatures with..."
"What?! No, you fool!"
"Then... Uhh...what?"

"Citizen, we shall hunt
and mercilessly shunt,
those nothing like Americans,
that come here for liberal c#nt!"
Posted by: Dron66046   2022-07-27 12:53  

#3  Dron, you can't really determine what era Mr. Johnson believes he is in, so I'll cut him some slack for a telepathic presidency.

I do fault him for stealing a carbon-emissions spewing F-150, however it is a good apocalypse vehicle and could handle rough roads damaged by the dragons.
Posted by: Mullah Richard   2022-07-27 11:45  

#2  he claimed the President told him in his mind that he needed to take the

Y'know I kinda believed him until that point. The president can't tell his own mind jack shit.
Posted by: Dron66046   2022-07-27 06:10  

#1  "We're on a mission from God."

"We're so glad to see so many of you lovely people here tonight. And we would especially like to welcome all the representatives of Illinois's law enforcement community that have chosen to join us here in the Palace Hotel Ballroom at this time. We certainly hope you all enjoy the show. And remember, people, that no matter who you are and what you do to live, thrive and survive, there're still some things that makes us all the same. You. Me. Them. Everybody. Everybody."

Posted by: Raj   2022-07-27 00:14  

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