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Caucasus/Russia/Central Asia
Putin was visited by a cancer surgeon dozens of times in 4 years and takes rejuvenating baths in deer antler blood
2022-04-02
[Bus Insider] Putin was frequently visited by a vast team of doctors, Russian investigative news outlet Proekt said. There has been much speculation about the Russian president's health. Putin bathes in blood extracts from severed deer antlers as a form of alternative medicine, the report says.
Posted by:Besoeker

#23  🙃 LOL, Secret Master. And Zenobia bigfoot.
Posted by: Dron66046   2022-04-02 23:59  

#22   On hearing one speak -- you remember? --
He shrieked, "Don't be dense!


To catch the -ly rhyme I’d do:

On hearing one speak — do you remember? — He
Shrieked, “Do not be dense!”

Or preferably, because of the repeating sibilance:

Shrieked, “Don’t be so dense!”

Word polishing are me, and you so rarely leave any to do ;-)
Posted by: trailing wife   2022-04-02 22:25  

#21  And fork one with a spoon, what snitfits he used to pitch about that 1601 Project!
Posted by: Dopey Big Foot3970   2022-04-02 20:51  

#20  Lord Melville spilled tea once, at Pemberly.
On hearing one speak -- you remember? --
He shrieked, "Don't be dense!
Sure, a queen of good sense
Should say, sweetly, 'Armenian ambergris!'"
Posted by: Dopey Big Foot3970   2022-04-02 20:37  

#19  #14 - Nicely done "He is quickly intersected by a teenage gymnast with a shaved head, also wearing a robe." made me snort
Posted by: Frank G   2022-04-02 19:57  

#18  Bat Boy....LOL!
Posted by: DooDahMan   2022-04-02 19:49  

#17  LOL Dron and TW (#11-13). I don't think I've seen a skidmark like that before...our trademark amigo Skidmark
Posted by: Frank G   2022-04-02 19:24  

#16  Man this whole thread was comedy gold.
Posted by: DarthVader   2022-04-02 18:56  

#15  /\ Whahahahahhaha....gasp, whhahahahahah.

That'll give me a bad dream tonight.
Posted by: Besoeker   2022-04-02 18:42  

#14  Lightning flashes in the sky above Moscow. A murder of crows flaps overhead. In the streets men pull their trench coats desperately about themselves and shiver, while women clutch their children in fear. Spring rain falls in frozen sheets, turning everything grey - though, oddly, this is also what Moscow is like in Summer as well.

Deep, deep in the bowels of the Kremlin, below the chambers where Comrade Koba used his wives for target practice and Lavrentiy Pavlovich Beria used other men's wives for other things, in a stone room lies a rectangular bathing pool filled with deer antler blood. The Lazarus Pit.

Aleksandr Dugin enters, wearing a long, hooded black robe with the symbol of the fourth ideology emblazoned upon its chest in red, the grey of his Rasputin beard clashing with its stoner metal color scheme. He is quickly intersected by a teenage gymnast with a shaved head, also wearing a robe.

"The Czar is not done with his treatment yet," she whispers pleadingly.

"Wake him." orders Dugin dismissively with a wave of his hand. The gymnast retreats with a bow. There is a clanking of metal as ancient chains begin to turn, raising the naked body of Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin from the depths of his artiodactylian bath. Oddly, his is somehow still riding a horse. Which is also naked.

Dugin raises his hands into the air and in a desiccated, necromancer voice commands-

"DARTH PUTIN... RISE!"

...or so Business Insider would have us believe.
Posted by: Secret Master   2022-04-02 18:38  

#13  
[looks left and right, appears chastised]
Posted by: Dron66046   2022-04-02 15:15  

#12  I’m not sure what that is, Dron dear, but would you want your young daughter to read about it?
Posted by: trailing wife   2022-04-02 14:38  

#11  I have heard Armenian dick cheese has the same effects. But it's rarer still.
Posted by: Dron66046   2022-04-02 13:42  

#10  
Posted by: Sluse Grealet9429   2022-04-02 13:33  

#9  Just gets better every day. I often say if I lied people would more readily believe me.
Posted by: Dale   2022-04-02 13:24  

#8  I hear Putin kills the deer himself, with his own hands and teeth. You really don't want to know how he drains the blood and grinds the antlers believe me.
Posted by: CrazyFool   2022-04-02 12:50  

#7  Come on. How is Putin sure that the blood is legitimately deer antler blood? How much blood can an antler hold? How many deer would you have to kill for their antler blood to fill a bathtub? What if it is some kind of scam blood from a cow that was stirred with a deer antler? Does that fit the criteria? Is their 3rd party labeling on deer antler blood to ensure that it is legitimate?
Posted by: Super Hose   2022-04-02 12:41  

#6  Deer. Antler. Blood. So he rises out of a healing bath like Baron Harkonin, Ras As Ghul, and other such supervillains? Uh huh. Sure.
Posted by: Secret Master    2022-04-02 12:37  

#5  /\ In Chinese medicine, deer velvet has been used to treat impotence, female disorders, urinary problems, skin ailments, word salad, and knee weakness. It also is employed as a tonic in children with learning disabilities.....

Is Kam Harris aware of this ?


Posted by: Besoeker   2022-04-02 10:41  

#4  Flight logs:

Putin 'bathes in ANTLER blood' as part of alternative treatment that 'boosts male potency' - amid claims he may have thyroid cancer and is followed everywhere by a doctor
Posted by: Skidmark   2022-04-02 10:27  

#3  What is Deer Velvet?
Posted by: Skidmark   2022-04-02 10:25  

#2  Business Insider has always been skeevy, but they are veering into BatBoy territory now.
Posted by: M. Murcek   2022-04-02 10:19  

#1  Oh boy, are you gonna get hit!
Posted by: Skidmark   2022-04-02 10:18  

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