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-Great Cultural Revolution
Laid-Off Journalist Trying To Learn To Code Horrified To Discover The Code Is Binary
2021-12-03
[Babylon Bee] When Huffington Post writer Brutto Chalet discovered he was being let go earlier this year, he decided he was going to do what all Americans do when they lose their job: learn to code.

There's just one problem: he suddenly realized the code he was working in was binary.

"Excuse me, professor?" he said to his programming teacher. "Yeah, hi. Brutto Chalet, he/him. Did I hear you correctly? Are we only allowed to work in binary code? Are there non-binary options for us to work with?"

The teacher said that they would just be learning to program atop binary code systems in this particular class, as virtually all computer systems are written in binary.

"Wow -- that's really problematic, chief," Chalet said. After apologizing for appropriating the term "chief" from the Native Americans, Chalet excitedly realized that exposing the bigotry of the programming community would make for a great Huffington Post article. It was a few minutes before he remembered that he wasn't a journalist anymore, though.

At publishing time, Chalet had begun work on his very own ternary code computer system, with the hopes of one day expanding the code to as many genders as there are, "400 or 500 or something like that".
Posted by:Frank G

#5  Some decades ago, when computer processing power was a lot more precious, a few bright petroleum geophysicists, recognizing that the geologic structures of interest were grossly vertical cylinders (salt domes) conceived a seismic acquisition and processing system of great efficiency - shoot the seismic lines in circles (spirals) around the approximately known vertical axis of the structure and then process the data in cylindrical coordinates. It had the clever name of 'circum-seis.' It never really caught on, largely because processing power advanced so quickly that few cared at the inefficiencies of rectangular coordinates.
Posted by: Glenmore   2021-12-03 20:23  

#4  In the early 60s some idiot in Russia wanted to make a base-3 computer as he thought it would take less parts. Mathematicians quickly convinced the party that supporting this idiot was a bad idea, but it took several major papers.
Posted by: 3dc   2021-12-03 18:16  

#3  Wait til he finds out that there are definite right and wrong answers. Doubleplus ungood!
Posted by: ed in texas   2021-12-03 13:38  

#2  Brutto should use Microsoft's Quantum Development Kit.
He could be all genders, instantly.
Posted by: Skidmark   2021-12-03 12:17  

#1  "There is not Binary. There is only Zero and Not Zero"
-- Yoda++
Posted by: SteveS   2021-12-03 10:18  

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