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| -Short Attention Span Theater- |
| Flynn resigns after Mattis and Kelly repeatedly steal his lunch money |
| 2017-02-25 |
| h/t IMAO [Duffelblog] President Donald Trump’s national security adviser Michael Flynn has resigned his post amid constant bullying from Secretary of Defense Jim Mattis and Homeland Security Secretary John Kelly, sources confirmed. The two retired Marine generals pushed the former intelligence chief repeatedly in the halls of The White House, and at least one stole Flynn’s lunch money on a daily basis. In letter of resignation, Flynn mentioned that Mattis and Kelly would snap towels at him in the cabinet locker room while referring to his butt cheeks as "Boris and Natasha." Though Flynn admitted that he gave Vice President Mike Pence and others "incomplete information" about his calls with Russia’s ambassador to the United States, Flynn explained that he actually reached out to Ambassador Sergey Kislyak for lessons in the Russian martial art of sambo. "I was just tired of those two jocks pushing me around," said Flynn in his letter. "They haven’t left me alone in nearly a month." Flynn further complained Mattis once pinned him against a wall in the White House and told him that "integrity was like virginity," and Flynn was "likely going to give up both." Likewise, Kelly was accused of pushing the national security adviser to tears during a national security briefing after detailing a racy encounter he allegedly had with a Russian mail-order bride that turned out to be Flynn’s mother. "Those guys are just dicks," said Flynn. "I quit." Both Mattis and Kelly were unavailable for comment as calls to their offices resulted in nothing but raucous laughter. Bonus Story: Army Welcomes First Openly Transgender Military Working Dogs |
| Posted by:g(r)omgoru |
| #4 flynn got it. His replacement is another idiot from the "nothing to do with islam let's win the hearts and mind" failure brigade. ie: exactly the problem that people voted trump in to get rid of. there is no clearer indication that Trump has not been able to succeed. It is obviously impossible for civilian elected governments to actually change US policy. |
| Posted by: anon1 2017-02-25 18:27 |
| #3 The little story about the transgender dog and the refusal of the Old Guard at Arlington Hall to let an "openly transgendered" mare pull the Presidential Caisson... I'm sorry, I've been cleaning coffee off my computer and my desk for almost an hour... |
| Posted by: Sock Puppet of Doom 2017-02-25 14:32 |
| #2 No "swirley" or it didn't happen. |
| Posted by: Blossom Unains5562 2017-02-25 13:56 |
| #1 Huh, didn't get stuffed in a locker at recess? |
| Posted by: Skidmark 2017-02-25 09:41 |