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| Home Front: Politix | |
| I knew this first date was over when Donald Trump came up | |
| 2016-10-04 | |
| [WashingtonPost] Dating is steeped in uncertainty. After age 25, it should be. Sure, he looks cute in his pictures and is witty with the text messages, but will we have any chemistry in person? Sure, that first date was good, but with his travel schedule and my work schedule, will we find time for a second? We have fun together, but are we compatible long-term? And so on. The vast majority of first dates end up in that abyss of ambivalence: nice person, but not much of a connection. Or nice person, bad timing. Or nice person, but do I like them enough to suffer through Metro delays or traffic to make this work? (Peruse The Washington Post Magazine’s Date Lab long enough and you’ll see what I mean.) I'll pass Which makes certainty — whether it’s positive or negative — quite special and rare. Certainty is the one thing that a good and bad date have in common. For example, I went on a date recently, where I knew, after about 30 minutes of conversation, that I wasn’t interested. Being able to say, “Yeah, this isn’t going to work out” was nearly as satisfying as that amazing first date where I might say, “Let’s do this again” and really mean it. So here’s what happened: I was on a first date with man who’s a Donald Trump supporter, a tidbit I did not know ahead of time. (Thanks, JSwipe.) Most Trump supporters are men. So as a heterosexual woman, I’m more likely to end up on a date with one. As the editor of this blog about unmarried life, I’ve published a few columns from women in liberal cities who’ve been surprised to find themselves on dates with Trump supporters. But in the Washington area, which is quite liberal, I had yet to meet one, let alone end up on a date with one. Normally, I don’t like to talk about politics on dates. I’m more concerned with getting to know the person sitting across from me than for whom they’re voting. So we started with some of the biographical stuff and pretty quickly realized that his brother is married to a wonderful woman with whom I’d studied abroad. (One point in the pro column.) He also seemed genuinely interested in my job, rather than intimidated by it. Some guys get skittish when I tell them that I write about dating. (Another pro.) But those two things alone do not a match or connection make. Once he told me that he worked for a Republican on the Hill, I had to ask: Are you a Trump supporter? Yes, he said. No caveats or equivocations. Just yes. How... shocking. I didn’t want to get into an argument. But I did want to gently ask about my date’s political allegiance, and how that might intersect or contradict with his Jewish identity. (About 20 percent of American Jews support Trump, so my date has company.) When I asked whether he had concerns about how Trump might handle the delicate politics of the U.S.-Israel relationship and the Middle East in general, he responded that Trump was on the same page with the Israelis on how to handle terrorism and security. “Besides,” he said, leaning in so the bar patrons on either side of us wouldn’t hear, “he wants to get rid of the Muslims.” His tone of voice and the look on his face said: You’re a Jew. I’m a Jew. Surely we agree on this, right? I was stunned, though maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised. A large swath of Americans who are aligned with Trump want to ban Muslims, or at least keep a closer eye on them. But I am not one of them. Then, I suggest you learn to walk with a permanent duck. I felt certain that someone who’s aligned with Trump isn’t for me. This wasn’t a political mismatch, but one of deeply held values. So I had the distinct pleasure of telling him something I’ve never said while on a first date: “Yeah … this isn’t going to work out.” So my “bad date” was pretty great in that I knew, with certainty, that after one date there wouldn’t be a second. Thanks to Clarice Feldman, another Jewish writer whom I follow, who said in Facebook comments: The WPo has a regular feature where they fix up dates for young people--they always are dimwits working for public interest groups and always are all in for the dems and they always never go out again on a second date. I've been on dates like that.
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| Posted by:badanov |
| #13 He probably went home and blogged "I knew it was over when she said she was a reporter, since I only date human beings and not slime molds" |
| Posted by: Silentbrick 2016-10-04 22:27 |
| #12 Ooo, ooo, I know, I know, #11 Airandee! Pick meeeee! **waves hand** |
| Posted by: Barbara 2016-10-04 22:12 |
| #11 So if he did not care that she was not a Trump supporter then who is the closed minded and Intolerant person on this first date? |
| Posted by: Airandee 2016-10-04 19:50 |
| #10 I'm guessing she is looking at singles column writing as a career. |
| Posted by: swksvolFF 2016-10-04 18:03 |
| #9 Which just teaches you - if you wanna score, never give your date a straight answer. |
| Posted by: g(r)omgoru 2016-10-04 14:00 |
| #8 She writes about "dating"! How cute! Wait a minute! Is this one of those imaginary dialogs that liberals love to perform in their heads because they can't find a real person that actually says and does what the liberals "knows" is true? Just to "prove" a point? If you can feel it, then it must be true! Wotta maroon! |
| Posted by: AlmostAnonymous5839 2016-10-04 13:45 |
| #7 Same with gays. Any gay that supports massive Muslim immigration is letting their leftism trump their common sense. |
| Posted by: rjschwarz 2016-10-04 10:03 |
| #6 their Leftist ideology takes precedence over REALITY |
| Posted by: Skidmark 2016-10-04 08:37 |
| #5 Think of it as a form of Stockholm Syndrome, Black Bart. |
| Posted by: g(r)omgoru 2016-10-04 07:12 |
| #4 Leftest ideologies and religions very often pull the same sled. |
| Posted by: Besoeker 2016-10-04 05:45 |
| #3 Because, for a lot of American Jews, their Leftist ideology takes precedence over their Jewish faith. |
| Posted by: Black Bart Glutch4583 2016-10-04 05:39 |
| #2 Muslims are natural enemies of Jews. Why would Jewish people be advocates of mass immigration of Muslims into America? The pogroms will not be far off. |
| Posted by: Thumper Dribble5791 2016-10-04 01:43 |
| #1 He doesn't know how lucky he was. |
| Posted by: Anguper Hupomosing9418 2016-10-04 00:35 |