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Bangladesh
One killed by RAB
2015-08-21
[Dhaka Tribune] An unidentified man, aged about 34, was killed allegedly by Rapid Action Battalion in the district Wednesday evening while three youths were taking meal at a restaurant near Mosjid market under Chandana Intersection.
I'm not sure, but I think the kids ratted the RAB out...
The elite force also brushed off the allegation.
"Tut tut, my good man!"
RAB officials also said they saved the man from several unidentified attackers and took him to a hospital where doctors declared him dead.
He's dead, Jim!

Ummm... If you're dead and the cops show up are you "saved?"
Locals said several men, wearing jackets of RAB, beat up the man to death. The owner of 'Ma Biriyani House', Zobayer said three men entered his restaurant around 5:45pm.
"Pssst! Muggsy! Over dere by da door! It's da RAB!"
"Several men entered the restaurant and started beating them when they were about to leave after finishing their meals. The attackers wearing jackets with RAB inscribed on them," he said. At one point, one of them called someone over mobile phone and asked him to come to the scene, Zobayer said.
"Chief! The shutter gun! Quick!"
"How many rounds of bullet y'need widdat?"

"One, you idjit. Never more than one!"
Several more men wearing the black RAB uniform came in a car after a while and then left with the severely injured man.
"Careful! Don't [CLUNK!] bang his head on the door jam."
However,
a lie repeated often enough remains a lie...
RAB-1 Commander Lt Col Maksud said a team RAB was patrolling at the Chandana Intersection while they saw several men beating a man.
"Here, you miscreants! Cease and desist in the name of the law!"
The attackers expeditiously departed at a goodly pace seeing the RAB members.
"Cheezit! Da RAB!"
"Cheaply made sandals don't fail me now!"

"The duty doctor at the Shaheed Tajuddin Medical College and Hospital declared the man dead after he was rescued and rushed there," he said.
"Here y'go, doc! We brought you a live one!"
"Rosebud!"
"Never mind. Where's Doctor Quincy?"

The hospital's Resident Physician Dr Md Abdus Salam said there were injury marks on both thighs and left side of the neck of the dead.
"Ahah! Injury marks on only the left side of the head! The perpetrator was right-handed!"
"Thank you, Inspector Camembert!"
"Unless the victim was facing away from him.
Posted by:Fred

#2  With new Anti-Spider-Senseâ„¢ Technology!
Posted by: Frank G   2015-08-21 09:34  

#1  Best August inline.

Also: Jackets of RAB, sounds like an RB CafePress winner.
Posted by: Shipman   2015-08-21 06:19  

00:00