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Science & Technology
Islamic holy man: Wanking could make your hand preggies in afterlife.
2015-05-26
[Breitbart] A Muslim cleric has warned that men who pleasure themselves could make their hands pregnant in the afterlife.

Turkey's Hurriyet Daily News reports that Mucahid Cihad Han made the comments on a live TV broadcast after a married man called his show to say he could not stop masturbating, even on holy pilgrimage to Mecca.

Han responded that masturbation was a sin in Islam. He added:

"Moreover, one hadith states that those who have sexual intercourse with their hands will find their hands pregnant in the afterlife, complaining against them to God over its rights.

"If our viewer was single, I could recommend he marry, but what can I say now?"

The self-styled televangelist advised the viewer to "resist Satan's temptations".

The issue is controversial in Islam as there are varying opinions on how permissible masturbation can be. The Koran has no clear reference to the act and many hadiths (teachings of Mohammed outside of the Koran) are of questionable authenticity.

Few Islamic scholars consider it "haram" (forbidden), with most considering it "makruh" (disliked or offensive). Some even say it is permissible in certain circumstances, such as avoiding temptation to commit adultery.

Han was widely mocked on social media after making the statement. One Twitter user asked: "Are there any hand gynaecologists in the afterlife? Is abortion allowed there?"

Another added: "So you think being pregnant is a God-given punishment?"
Posted by:Besoeker

#7  My feet want ice cream, pickles and pepperoni
Posted by: Shipman   2015-05-26 23:25  

#6  And I was told I'd go blind and my hair would fall out. Wait, I wear glasses and am bald. Sigh, I guess they were right.
Posted by: Deacon Blues   2015-05-26 20:16  

#5  John that was just baaaaaaaad.
Posted by: DarthVader   2015-05-26 17:01  

#4  What does the holy man say about goats?
Posted by: JohnQC   2015-05-26 15:44  

#3  Maybe he could just marry his hand?
Posted by: gorb   2015-05-26 15:39  

#2  Brought to you by the same folks who think that if your corpse is raped that makes you a woman in the afterlife.
Posted by: Chick Glemp4272   2015-05-26 13:55  

#1  That probably explains the goat people (Fauns & Satyrs) in the afterlife. Perhaps a warning on that is in order as well.
Posted by: rjschwarz   2015-05-26 13:30  

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