[USATODAY] Police opened fire on an SUV that tried to crash a gate Monday near NSA headquarters after it rammed one of the agency's police vehicles and refused to stop, NSA officials said.
Turns out the attack wasn't at the Llewellyn Avenue gate, but the Route 32 exit from the BW Parkway. (Actually it's a restricted exit just before Route 32.)
One of the occupants of the vehicle died during a firefight that erupted afterward at Fort Meade, where about 11,000 military personnel and 29,000 civilian employees work — including thousands for the National Security Agency — the post's garrison commander, Col. Brian Foley, said in a statement.
None of whom were involved so that paragraph's just filler, starting with the word "where."
The other man was wounded, Foley said but did not disclose his condition.
Yesterday he wasn't expected to make it. Close your eyes and hope real hard, boys and girls. Otherwise Tink might go titzup.
Both men in the SUV were dressed as women, NSA officials said without elaborating on that or why the vehicle tried to enter the NSA campus at the Army base about 25 miles northeast of Washington.
The audio that goes with the story kinda sorta mentions that the two were transvestite hookers who spent the night with the car's owner and stole his car.
The vehicle later was determined to have been stolen from the parking lot of the Terrace Motel about 7:30 a.m. in nearby Elkridge, Md., according to the Howard County Police Department. The victim whose car was stolen had picked the two men up in Baltimore before checking into the motel, Scott Broom of WUSA-TV reported.
So there you have it: if you pick up a coupla transvestite hookers in Baldymore and take 'em to a seedy motel in Jessup, don't use your good car. To get to Fort Meade from Jessup, take Route 175 east--the intersection's conveniently located to the motel. Take the exit for the BW Parkway south and then take the next exit, that's clearly labeled "NSA Employees Only." Wave to the State Trooper as you go by. Then you can have a snotty argument with the guards at the gate, of which there are several, and start any trouble you need to start.
When the car approached the NSA, an agency officer gave the driver "routine instructions for safely exiting the secure campus," but the driver disobeyed them, so barriers were deployed, NSA spokesman Jonathan Freed said in a statement.
I guess a few snorts of cocaine first thing in the morning might befuddle a guy, especially if he's wearing a becoming off-the-shoulder gown.
The driver accelerated toward an NSA Police vehicle blocking the road, and police fired at them when the driver refused to stop.
As far as I know, this is the first time the FPS guards have expended any ammo in anger since they took over the job from Marines, around 1975. (Good Lord! Has it been that long?)
The SUV crashed into the police vehicle, wounding an NSA police officer, Freed said.
"Near broke my neck!"
Both of those injured are being treated at a nearby hospital; none of the names of those involved has been released.
That implies they both went to the same hospital. The nearest is BW Medical Center, across the post and a coupla miles. But they said yesterday that the guy who got shot up was taken to Shock Trauma, which is University of Maryland Hospital in the city. We saw the bunged up FPS officer being loaded into an ambulance, which to me implies that he went to BWMC. Just a quibble and maybe they took him up to the city. It's not that far. Meade ambulance's usual hospital is BWMC.
"Just after 9 a.m. today, one person was killed and another injured when they attempted to drive a vehicle into the National Security Agency portion of the installation without authorization," according to a statement from Fort Meade officials. "NSA security personnel prevented them from gaining access to the installation."
Kinda recaps the whole incident, doesn't it?
The incident, which has been contained to the area around a gate near an off ramp from Interstate 295, is not believed to be related to terrorism, said the FBI, which is working with the NSA on the investigation.
No mention of Llewellen Avenue. I-295 is the BW Parkway. It doesn't sound like terrorism. Since they were dressed in simply fab evening gowns or some such thing, rather than burkas it sounds more like commercial love, or at least commercial passion. I wonder if the car's owner was slipped a mickey?
Agents have been interviewing witnesses, FBI spokeswoman Amy Thoreson said. They also are working with the U.S. Attorney's office in Maryland to determine whether federal charges are warranted.
Getting involved in a gunfight with Federal Protective Services on a federal compound located on an Army post sure sounds like federal charges to me. I suppose the state could handle the hooking, auto theft, and creating a ruckus charges.
Cocaine and a weapon were found near or inside the men's vehicle, said an official, who asked not to be identified because of not being authorized to speak about this incident.
Doesn't matter if they fired a shot, though if the guy lives he might be able to plea bargain it down to reckless driving on federal property.
There's a Washington Post story that's actually coherent here.
And today's AP story to wrap up:
The FBI has identified a man fatally shot at a National Security Agency gate after disobeying orders from guards there.
Hokay. That agrees with the original story.
Spokeswoman Amy Thoreson says the dead man was 27-year-old Ricky Shawatza Hall. His passenger and an NSA police officer were injured and hospitalized and have not been identified.
Ummm... I thought his name was Kevin?
Thoreson says the two men were dressed as women but "not in an attempt to disguise themselves from authorities."
Betcha they were lesbians. "That gown sets off your eyes perfectly, Kevin... I mean Ricky Shawatza..."
Authorities say they had stolen a sport utility vehicle minutes before from a 60-year-old man who had picked them up in Baltimore and brought them to a Howard County motel to "party."
Old lech + transvestite hookers + seedy motel. It's the old formula.