...Second and fourth President and sixth of the Russian Federation and the first to remain sober. Putin is credited with bringing political stability and re-establishing something like the rule of law, which occasionally results in somebody dropping dead from polonium poisoning. Under Putin, a new group of business magnates controlling significant swathes of Russia's economy has emerged, all of whom have close personal ties to Putin. The old bunch, without close personal ties to Putin, are in jail or in exile or dead...'s hurry to invade Ukraine -- it is rumored he has cancer. News outlets from Belarus to Poland have reported for months that the Russian strongman has cancer of the spinal cord. But my sources say it's pancreatic cancer, one of the most lethal forms of the disease.
Pancreatic cancer is the sort of disease you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy and Vlad's not quite at top of my list unless he invades Baltimore.
Putin is allegedly being treated by an elderly doctor from the old East Germany whom Putin met decades ago while serving in Dresden for the KGB. The doctor has been trying various treatments including steroid shots, which would explain Putin's puffy appearance.
Normally competent docs use chemo and radiation. If the patient's healthy enough there's a "nanoknife" procedure to remove the tumor, of which I know nothing but the name.
The physician, who is 84 years old, quit recently, confiding that he hated coming to Russia and was always mistreated by Putin's security detail.
Good idea. Kick the guy's dog and then ask him for help.
Crispin Black, the British army veteran who reports on terrorism and intelligence, reported earlier this year that recurring rumors about Putin's health "are back again with a vengeance."
... and his girlfriend's a contortionist, not that he's up to it anymore because he has pancreatic cancer...
Writing for The Week, Black said Putin's pardon and release of his former crony Mikhail Khodorkovsky, after 10 years in prison, was an ominous sign. "Some have suggested [Putin] is clearing his conscience," Black wrote.
But then he couldn't resist the urge to kick Khodorkovsky's dog so he might as well not have bothered.
Others say Putin has three years to live and wants to leave a legacy of expanding the Russian borders just like Peter the Great or Stalin. Take your pick.
I think Steve Jobs had pancreatic cancer. He seemed to last pretty long. I know of one guy (a doctor) who beat it. Nobody else lasted longer than a year.
Jobs had a neuroendocrine pancreatic tumor, entirely different from your usual adenocarcinoma. Problem with the latter is that by the time you discover it the tumor has almost always metastasized, both to surrounding tissues and to the liver. At that point your choices are chemo and more chemo, and pancreatic adenocarcinoma is notoriously resistant to chemo.
So if Putin has pancreatic CA then it's very likely curtains within a year.
By the way, Jobs died of his tumor as well.