[An Nahar] The Roman Catholic Church in Angola on Wednesday demanded new laws to outlaw witchcraft, claiming the practice had reached "chronic" proportions."Thousands of people have been turned into chickens! It's time to put a stop to it!"
"It is affecting more and more followers, it destroys family ties and affects relations among people," said Francisco Viti, the archbishop of the central city of Huambo.
"And I won't even mention the amount of chicken poop it generates!"
Angola does not have laws against witchcraft, leaving communities to deal with the issue as they see fit. Suspected witches have been lynched.
Well, that's one way to deal with it. On the other hand, if you can grab 'em to lynch 'em they're probably not really witches, are they? Otherwise you'd be a chicken, or a frog, or even a handful of drifting ashes.
"There is a legal vacuum with regards to witchcraft, which does not constitute a crime -- yet the consequences are killings, violence, libel and slander," said Jose Manuel Imbamba a Church front man.
"On the other hand, egg production is up..."
Omelets for everyone!
"This is a chronic problem in Angola, but nobody has the courage to confront it," he added.
"There's a reason for that. [CACKLE!]"
Many Angolans turn to witch-doctors who are believed to have superior powers to solve health problems and misunderstanding between neighbors or within families, or even make decisions. The belief is widespread, despite a majority of the people in the former Portuguese colony being Catholic.