| Submit your comments on this article |
| The Grand Turk |
| Dear Ulama: Heaven Is Not Your Pr0n Fantasy! |
| 2012-05-01 |
| Visiting Denmark seven years after the Danish cartoon crisis, Professor Mehmet Görmez, head of the Religious Affairs Directorate, spoke these words of wisdom: - We must further support non-Moslems living with us side by side... We must have even friendlier relations with our neighbors who write racist messages on mosque walls in the West. - [Non-Moslem] minorities and their churches [in Moslem lands] are entrusted to Moslems. - The [violent] incidents [targeting Christians] in the Middle East in the aftermath of the Arab Spring are the biggest stain on Islamic civilization. - We must grant freedom to the church in the East as much as we want freedom for the mosque in the West. - Restrictions, humiliation and insults against the church should upset all of us [Moslems]. Professor Görmez is a Moslem theologian. But he is not the only one. Another well-known Moslem theologian is Ali Rıza Demirci, father of the Justice and Development Party's (AKP) Beyoğlu, Istanbul, mayor, Ahmet Misbah Demircan. The elder Mr. Demircan's popular blog features his "scientific" work published in volumes of books. One of his masterpieces is the "Sexual Life According to Islam," a two-volume book published in 1984. Here are some excerpts from that book which can be downloaded even today from Mr. Demircan's popular blog: - In heaven there will be no bachelors. - Every man [residing in the lowest circle of heaven] will be given 72 women per day. A fully faithful Moslem will be given 100 virgins per day with whom he will have sex all day long. Women in heaven will become virgins immediately after having sex with men. - Every man in heaven will be given the [sexual] power of 100 men. - Every person in heaven will return to the age of 33. - Women will be given to men who died in the name of religion. - Men in heaven will have a permanent erection. - Every man in heaven will have sex with his wife and angelic girls all day long. I wanted to ask Mr. Demircan the ulama if women should be faithful Moslems only to enter heaven and "be given to men as sex slaves," or if we pray for his or my or other people's mothers, wives and sisters so that they go to heaven "for that!" Is this what Mr. Demircan really wishes for the female members of his family? I would not. And why will people in heaven return to the age of 33 and not 23? What about the faithful who died at the age of 8, 12, 18, 29 and went to heaven? Why would they have to age as a reward? The trouble is not about the too visible discrepancy between the golden words of Mr. Görmez the ulama and the eccentric prophesies of Mr. Demircan the ulama. It is about the choice of the average pious Moslem: Will the faithful observe Mr. Görmez's teachings or Mr. Demircan's? Whose words would appeal more to the faithful? There is empirical evidence to guess. Ironically, on the day the newsmakers reported Mr. Görmez's words of knowledge, another news story told us which ulama even educated Turks would choose to listen to more. A thousand people gathered in Edirne to form "a human chain of brotherhood," in honor of the grandiose mosque in the city, Selimiye, led by Gov. Gökhan Sözer. Among the invitees was a priest representing the Bulgarian Orthodox Church who wanted to take the front line with the governor and the Moslem mufti of the city. The governor simply refused to let the priest in, citing "Bulgarian discrimination against Moslems in Bulgaria." And just yesterday the newspapers reported that the younger Mr. Demircan had sent a 1 million-Turkish Lira (approximately $575,000) fine to a Catholic church in Istanbul. The mayor promised corrective action, but the unlucky church's priest had already asked the million dollar question: Would the municipality send the same fine to a mosque? Apparently, Professor Görmez's teachings do not appeal to Turkish officials. And there are no means to know if Mr. Demircan's teachings would. But the possible truth just makes me laugh... |
| Posted by:trailing wife |
| #13 if you want a permanent erection, there is a guy in Californication that has a BMW motorcycle he would probably sell...... |
| Posted by: Glusoting Guelph8038 2012-05-01 20:06 |
| #12 Islam is not a religion. It is a sexual disorder. |
| Posted by: Iblis 2012-05-01 17:08 |
| #11 If Mohammad were alive today he could make a fortune selling pr0n on the net. He was a natural at appealing to men's erotic fantasies. |
| Posted by: tipper 2012-05-01 15:48 |
| #10 >In heaven there will be no bachelors. Sounds like hell to me. |
| Posted by: Bright Pebbles 2012-05-01 14:45 |
| #9 If you get all these delicious rewards when you go to Heaven why wont they let converts change back? |
| Posted by: tipper 2012-05-01 12:36 |
| #8 I thought if you have an erection lating more than 4 hours, you're supposed to call the docter right away. "Why didn't you get to the ER after the prescribed four hours?" "I was ... busy." |
| Posted by: gorb 2012-05-01 12:08 |
| #7 I thought if you have an erection lating more than 4 hours, you're supposed to call the docter right away. Al |
| Posted by: Frozen Al 2012-05-01 11:07 |
| #6 Spot: I wonder if Avicenna know that detail. |
| Posted by: Korora 2012-05-01 10:32 |
| #5 And given how many Muslim men treat the women and girls in their lives, giving them up to this treatment in their afterlife would not seem to be any real problem. In fact, it helps to explain some things. |
| Posted by: gorb 2012-05-01 10:02 |
| #4 Men in heaven will have a permanent erection Their reward is priapism? |
| Posted by: Spot 2012-05-01 07:52 |
| #3 The muslims are obsessed with sex. |
| Posted by: Squinty Glatch1099 2012-05-01 06:54 |
| #2 A fully faithful Moslem will be given 100 virgins per day with whom he will have sex all day long. If my math is correct that would be roughly one virgin every 15 minutes, hence the permanent erection. Not much time left for gardening or watching sports. :-( |
| Posted by: Besoeker 2012-05-01 01:53 |
| #1 "Given 72 women per day" > Call me weird but it just doesn't sound like 72 "Raisins" to me, let alone 72 "Virginians"??? D *** NG IT, WOMAN, I THINK I'VE DISCOVERED HOW THE BOY WAS CONVERTED BACK AT BENNING TO BECOME THE MAHDI! |
| Posted by: JosephMendiola 2012-05-01 00:10 |