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Home Front: Culture Wars

Judge to PETA in Orca Slavery suit against Sea World: "GTFO!"

2012-02-09

Duplicate from yesterday but we like the comments :-)
A federal judge dismissed on Wednesday a lawsuit filed in San Diego by PETA against SeaWorld, alleging the park's performing killer whales are being held in captivity as slaves, in violation of the U.S. Constitution's 13th Amendment.
"only counting as 3/5ths of a white for voting, too, your honor!"
Judge Jeffrey Miller dismissed the lawsuit two days after hearing an hour of arguments about the case's merits. Miller ruled that the 13th Amendment, adopted in 1865, applied only to humans, and the lawsuit could not proceed.
"So, you see, you're clearly nucking futs. Dismissed. Counselor? I'm recommending you spend 2 or 3 hours in the tank to discuss the appeals with your 'clients'"
A lawyer for PETA said the group has not decided if it will appeal the ruling but vowed the fight on behalf of the whales will continue.
they need to pay the Sea World Atty's costs and court's time
"We'll look at the order closely and see where we go from here," said lawyer Jeff Kerr. "We're concerned only with the well-being of the orcas and trying to end their enslavement."
"Nobody knows...the trubble I seine"

Posted by:Frank G

#13 Mizzou - that was a great SouthPark!

Posted by: Water Modem 2012-02-09 23:17

#12 FREE THE MUSSELS!!

Posted by: mojo 2012-02-09 17:26

#11

"FARK YOU, DOLFINS!"

Posted by: Mizzou Mafia 2012-02-09 17:14

#10 Bill: Wouldn't that be terribly cruel to people who suffer from Coulrophobia?

"A clown is coming to get you!"

"Eeek!"

"A clown who is also a lawyer!"

"Eeek! Eeek!" (faints)

(There are too many 'evil clown' pictures to choose from on GIS.)

Posted by: Anonymoose 2012-02-09 12:12

#9 Since it appears we now have lawyers doing stand up comedy, perhaps we should declare a ten year moritorium on graduating lawyers from school and just send them all to Ringling Brothers?

I believe the ruling took a long time because the judge broke his hip falling out of his chair laughing at the poor barristership of the plantiff. Even Namu was shaking his head at the thin porridge in the brief.

Posted by: Bill Clinton 2012-02-09 11:34

#8 That's OK - PETA will just appeal to the "9th Circus" which will rule in their favor.

Posted by: Cincinnatus Chili 2012-02-09 10:53

#7 Rule 11 biatches!

Posted by: Iblis 2012-02-09 10:18

#6 It used to be a legal principal that courts would only hear cases based on subjects involving the law, not a judge's whim that he wanted to be entertained by something interesting.

The US has some 3,600 federal judges, any one of whom can now whimsically hear cases for their entertainment. And they do. Unfortunately there is no organization other than congress that can say, "No, that is stupid. Quit wasting taxpayer money and log-jamming your court with b.s. like that."

Posted by: Anonymoose 2012-02-09 08:51

#5 A lawyer for PETA said the group has not decided if it will appeal the ruling but vowed the fight on behalf of the whales will continue.

Which means the [infamous] 9th Court of Appeals. That's a fifty/fifty proposition [as long as it's not number 8].

Posted by: Procopius2k 2012-02-09 08:30

#4 I think that the only reason it took as long as it did to dismiss the case is that the judge couldn't stop laughing.

Posted by: Rambler in Virginia 2012-02-09 07:41

#3 I call them PETArds.

Posted by: Twobyfour 2012-02-09 04:05

#2 D *** NG, does this mean the PETA Nekkid Babes are losing their mojo???

Posted by: JosephMendiola 2012-02-09 00:34

#1 Proof we need to bring back slavery.

Any idiot that comes up with this idea and the idiot that files it for the court just NEED to be sent to the spice mines.

Posted by: DarthVader 2012-02-09 00:24

00:00