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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Ever been that drunk?
2012-02-05
A college student claims he was injured when a fraternity member in a "drunken stupor" decided "that it would be a good idea to shoot bottle rockets out of his anus," and did so, "but instead of launching, the bottle rocket blew up in the defendant's rectum, and this startled the plaintiff and caused him to jump back," and fall off the fraternity's deck.

Louis Helmburg III sued The Alpha Tau Omega Fraternity Inc., of Huntington, West Virginia, and Travis Hughes, a fraternity member, in Cabell County Court.

Helmburg claims - in a statement it would be difficult to deny - that "firing bottle rockets out of one's own anus constitutes an 'ultra-hazardous' activity," which exposes both defendants to strict liability.

Helmburg says he suffered pain and medical expenses, and lost playing time on the Marshall University baseball team. He claims the Alpha Tau deck from which he fell lacked a railing, which violated Huntington building codes.
In addition to the full story at the link, the complaint in .pdf is here
Posted by:Nimble Spemble

#5  Awww, #4 beat me to it.

The Judge will prob have a good laugh before throwing out the lawsuit ["Dismissed for Stupidity", but thanx for trying].
Posted by: JosephMendiola   2012-02-05 20:27  

#4  Sexist remark: Ever notice it's never girls who do this shit? /sexist remark

Youtube search 'girl+rocket+*ss': NSFW!
Posted by: Slats Jinelet7795   2012-02-05 19:37  

#3  If we lived in a nation w even a shred of common sense, the judge woud tell the plaintiff to GTFO of my courtroom
Posted by: Cincinnatus Chili   2012-02-05 14:15  

#2  Don't laugh, this douche-nozzle will probably get a bunch of money because the deck lacked a handrail.

That is the world we have made, 20,000 families will lose their homes this month due to poor economic policy, and this guy will get a million dollar settlement.
Posted by: bigjim-CA   2012-02-05 13:06  

#1  1. I've never been drunk enough to do that. (I think I'd be dead long before I got that drunk, if I ever decided to get drunk to begin with.)

2. I've never been stupid enough to admit having anything to do with a mess like that.


Sexist remark: Ever notice it's never girls who do this shit? /sexist remark

(Yeah, yeah - I know. Girls do plenty of other stupid shit.)
Posted by: Barbara   2012-02-05 10:20  

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