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Caribbean-Latin America
Oogo claims capitalism destroyed Martians
2011-03-23
We did this yesterday but it's always fun to snark at Hugo.
Capitalism may be at fault for the lack of life on the planet Mars, Venezuela's goofball President Hugo Chavez said on Tuesday. "I have always said, heard, that it would not be strange that there had been civilization on Mars, but maybe capitalism arrived there, imperialism arrived and finished off the planet," Chavez said in a rant to mark World Water Day.

Chavez, who blames free enterprise for many of the world's ills, warned that water supplies on Earth were drying up,
just like on Mars.
"Careful! Here on planet Earth where hundreds of years ago or less there were great forests, now there are deserts. Where there were rivers, there are deserts," Chavez said, sipping from a glass of dihydrogen monoxide.
It is just the opposite in Israel, of course, but we could hardly expect the Latin ayatollah to mention that.
He added that the West's attacks on Libya were about water and oil reserves.
Libya has huge reserves of water, which the evil Bush, Obomba administration plans to load onto tanker planes and dump it over parched Texas suburbs.
Earlier this month, the U.S. National Research Council recommended that NASA's top priority should be a robot to help determine whether Mars ever supported life and offer insight on its geological and climatic history.
....as well as the location of the ruins of the Martian Wall street, so we can steal all the gold and other treasure buried there.
It would also be the first step in an effort to get samples from Mars back to Earth.
Documents too. How much would a million year old bearer bond be worth, assuming SETI can locate the issuer?
A NASA team recently tested a space suit in a setting with extreme conditions akin to some of those found on Mars -- an Argentine base in Antarctica -- for possible use on a visit to the Red Planet.
Posted by:Glise Shiger2786

#7  How much would a million year old bearer bond be worth...?

With compound interest....wooooo, mama! 'Course, finding the issuer and collecting would be a good trick, but still......
Posted by: Mike   2011-03-23 16:33  

#6  Socialism destroyed all intelligent life in Venezuela.
Posted by: Oscar Spineck3066   2011-03-23 13:15  

#5  Nah, someone just dropped their illudium Q-36 explosive space modulator.
Posted by: Procopius2k   2011-03-23 11:34  

#4  Sure thing Monster Magnet. Now polish those rockets and swallow those pills.
Posted by: swksvolFF   2011-03-23 11:01  

#3  I thought it was all those big ass SUVs that martians used to drive.
Posted by: tu3031   2011-03-23 10:44  

#2  Hugo better trade in the red beret and parrot for a tinfoil hat.
Posted by: JohnQC   2011-03-23 10:40  

#1  How much would a million year old bearer bond be worth, assuming SETI can locate the issuer?

Somewhere, in a dusty Martian basement, is a box of *reeeeaaallly* old baseball cards. Must be worth a mega-fortune.
Posted by: SteveS   2011-03-23 09:46  

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