More than two dozen Democrats are expected to vote against the healthcare reform bill that will hit the House floor in the coming weeks."You want me to put my testicles on the table?"
At least 25 House Democrats will reject the healthcare reform legislation, according to a survey by The Hill, a review of other media reports and interviews with lawmakers, aides and lobbyists. Dozens of House Democrats are undecided or won't comment on their position on the measure.
"... while you're holding a claw hammer?"
The 25 opposed include firm "no" votes and members who are likely "no" votes. Most Democrats on The Hill's whip list are definitely going to vote no, but others, such as Reps. Lincoln Davis (Tenn.) and Harry Teague (N.M.), could vote yes.
"Well, I guess I could vote yes. I'm sure my constituents will understand."
However, The Hill has not yet put Democrats who are insisting on Rep. Bart Stupak's (D-Mich.) language on abortion in the "no" category. Stupak has said there are 12 Democrats who supported the House bill in November who will vote no unless his anti-abortion-rights measure is melded into the final bill.
"Steney, what can we do to buy off those abortion nitwits?"
"How much money do we have to throw at them, Nancy?"
"All the money in the country. And more we can borrow until the international rubes catch on."
"There's your answer."
If leadership doesn't make changes to the abortion language and Stupak does indeed have 12 votes in his pocket, it will be very difficult to pass a bill.
"You want to give me several billion dollars? But Nancy, why?"
"'Cause you gotta honest face, Bart."
Yet if they do change the provisions, supporters of abortion rights in the House will threaten to vote no.
"How come he can have several billion and we can't? We're voting 'no'!"
The Hill's list does not include members of the Congressional Hispanic Caucus, who are threatening to vote no unless changes are made to the bill's immigration-related provisions.
"And we want the entire bill written in Spanish!"
Most on Capitol Hill believe that language will not be changed and that most members of the CHC will still back the final measure.
"You don't vote with us, no boodle for you. Understand, Pablo?"
With all Republicans expected to reject the bill, Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) needs to minimize defections. Thirty-nine Democrats voted against the House healthcare bill that passed 220-215 last November.