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Home Front: WoT
New TSA flight directive
2009-12-28
Oh joy. This is going to be just dandy for families returning from holiday visits with kids. Think 'babies with no blankets or bottles during takeoff/landing, kids in seats for an hour with no toys or snacks, business people who suddenly cannot check email or get work done ..... Not to mention the fact that I need to fly next week.
1. BOARDING GATE

1. The aircraft operator or authorized air carrier representative must ensure all passengers are screened at the boarding gate during the boarding process using the following procedures. These procedures are in addition to the screening of all passengers at the screening checkpoint.
1. Perform thorough pat-down of all passengers at boarding gate prior to boarding, concentrating on upper legs and torso.
2. Physically inspect 100 percent of all passenger accessible property at the boarding gate prior to boarding, with focus on syringes being transported along with powders and/or liquids.
3. Ensure the liquids, aerosols, and gels restrictions are strictly adhered to in accordance with SD 1544--06-02E....

2. IN FLIGHT

1. During flight, the aircraft operator must ensure that the following procedures are followed:
1. Passengers must remain in seats beginning 1 hour prior to arrival at destination.
2. Passenger access to carry-on baggage is prohibited beginning 1 hour prior to arrival at destination.
3. Disable aircraft-integrated passenger communications systems and services (phone, internet access services, live television programming, global positioning systems) prior to boarding and during all phases of flight.
4. While over U.S. airspace, flight crew may not make any announcement to passengers concerning flight path or position over cities or landmarks.
5. Passengers may not have any blankets, pillows, or personal belongings on the lap beginning 1 hour prior to arrival at destination.
Posted by:

#18  OOOOOO, IIRC PARDON MY PLANET? RETAIL? Comics > WHADDAYA MEAN I CAN'T RETURN A XMAS GIFT I DIDN'T BUY FROM HERE - WHAT IS THIS, RUSSIA!
Posted by: JosephMendiola   2009-12-28 22:09  

#17  #6:
During an emergency, remain belted in your seat, reach forward and grab your ankles and...
Posted by: logi_cal   2009-12-28 21:25  

#16  So, if I see some one across the isle from me trying to light his socks I'll be arrested if I get up to stop him? Ludicrous.
Posted by: Deacon Blues   2009-12-28 19:38  

#15  I'm pretty sure the whole "no bottles for the babies / no snacks for the kids one hour before we land" thing will never be adopted. It's the easiest way to keep the littlest ones from screaming during landing (helps with pressure in their ears).
Posted by: Cornsilk Blondie   2009-12-28 17:06  

#14  Potemkin Village
Posted by: HammerHead   2009-12-28 16:46  

#13  Security expert Bruce Schneier has an apt description for this: "security theatre". It accomplishes absolutely nothing but creates the appearance of action.
Posted by: DMFD   2009-12-28 13:45  

#12  "I vote that Muslims must fly nude."

Just upholster the seats with pigskin. Problem solved.
Posted by: crosspatch   2009-12-28 13:45  

#11  I got an flight at 6:30 this morning at DFW and saw none of these new measures.

Maybe this is just a feel-good measure for the rubes?
Posted by: Bobby   2009-12-28 12:11  

#10  How about banning muslims from any form of transportation that didn't exist in the 7th century and stop forcing grandmothers to turn their head and cough during airport check in.
Posted by: ed   2009-12-28 11:57  

#9  If Janet NapOnTheJobo ran this guy's name against "the lists" one hour before take off all these "new rules" would never be required> So guess what. The terrorists who can still board will now schedule their evil deads one hour and ten minutes before landing...
Posted by: Chunky Phaving7818   2009-12-28 10:55  

#8  Lucky that our j1hadi enem1es do not read Sun Tzu.
Posted by: Alaska Paul   2009-12-28 10:39  

#7  Oh Gee. I feel safer already!
/sarc
Posted by: DarthVader   2009-12-28 10:32  

#6  I vote that Muslims must fly nude. The rest of us are left alone. If that doesn't work - than muslims can't fly - with lie detector tests to prove you are not muslim.
Posted by: 3dc   2009-12-28 10:25  

#5  "Passengers must remain in seats beginning 1 hour prior to arrival at destination."

Just what you want to hear if you suffer from irritable bowel disease.
Posted by: Penguin   2009-12-28 10:22  

#4  re: expiration - thanks. That solves my problem, although it won't be fun for returning families.

re: nude - I devoutly and sincerely pray not. Wholeheartedly too.
Posted by: lotp   2009-12-28 10:15  

#3  The TSA directive states that these measures will expire at 0200Z on December 30, 2009. Stay off airplanes for the next two days, and you're in like Flynn. I suppose.

What comes after that-- we all fly nude?

Posted by: Dave D.   2009-12-28 10:01  

#2  What's the big deal with 1 hour before landing? Couldn't I do all the same things one hour after takeoff, too?
Posted by: Nimble Spemble   2009-12-28 09:59  

#1  A few years ago we had the shoe bomber so now we have to take off our shoes to clear security. Now we have the underwear bomber..... Lord I hope I don't get caught in line behind Helen Thomas or Rosie O'Donnell.
Posted by: Glenmore   2009-12-28 09:47  

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