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| Science & Technology |
| Copenhagen sure was a gas |
| 2009-12-21 |
| Now that the enviro nuts have finished handing out their "Fossil of the Day" and "Colossal Fossil" awards, unfairly smearing Canada at the just-completed Copenhagen climate summit, let's return the favour with some well-deserved honours of our own. Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, we present the Copenhagen Flatulence Awards, honouring those who raised the art of generating hot air and gassy emissions to new intensity levels during the UN-sponsored festival of indignation. The "I'm Not Really A Climatologist, I Just Play One on TV" Flatulence Award: To Al Gore, who, having made a career out of mocking opponents for "getting the science wrong" on global warming, gets the science wrong on the melting of the polar ice cap, according to the scientist he says he got the science from. The "That Old Man River, He Just Keeps Rolling Along" Flatulence Award: To David Suzuki, for suggesting during a CBC interview -- twice -- that anyone worried about lost jobs if Canada's oil sands are shut down, would also have endorsed slavery in the American south. The "I'm The King Of The World, Baby, King Of The World!!!" Flatulence Award: To David Miller, who accepted two Canada-mocking fossil awards in Copenhagen and pronounced himself embarrassed on behalf of all Canadians, apparently unaware that a lame-duck Toronto mayor who would have been slaughtered in the next municipal election -- had he had the stones to run -- is about as fossilized as you can get. The "Yes, I'll Have My Gateaux and Eat It Too" Flatulence Award: To Quebec Premier Jean Charest, for going medieval on Alberta's oil sands, apparently unaware that oil money from Alberta helps to pay for Quebec's cradle-to-grave social programs. The "Pay No Attention To That Man Behind the Curtain" Flatulence Award: To Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty, for having his environmental thingy in Copenhagen lambaste Stephen Harper for not doing enough to lower greenhouse gas emissions, days after Ontario's environment commissioner lambasted McGuinty for not doing enough to lower greenhouse gas emissions. The "Somebody Has to Change Their Irresponsible, Carbon-Spewing Lifestyle To Save The Planet, But It Ain't Gonna Be Me" Flatulence Award: To the Copenhagen delegates who booked 140 private jets and 1,200 limousines -- five of them hybrids -- to fly into and tool around the UN conference. The "Okay, Now It's Just Getting !@$#%$ Stupid" Flatulence Award: To UN Copenhagen delegates who applauded Third World thug Robert Mugabe and Venezuela's loopy Hugo Chavez, for demanding more money from the West for fighting global warming, as if it won't go down exactly the same sinkhole our foreign aid does now. The "We'll Tell You What's News, You Miserable Little Peons" Flatulence Award: To all those Canadian media outlets, and you know who you are, who kept insisting climategate wasn't a real story, without ever explaining what climategate was. And in conclusion, some positive examples of those who took the high-flying, hypocritical gas bags in Copenhagen down a notch: The "Is That An Iceberg In Your Pocket Or Are You Happy To See Me?" Award: To Danish sex trade workers, who, angered by a warning from Copenhagen's mayor to conference delegates not to make use of their services, offered free sex to anyone who could produce their conference identity card, plus a copy of the mayor's warning that was sent to local hotels. The "My Government Went to COP 15 And All I Got Was This Lousy Economy" Award: To the Washington-based National Center For Public Policy Research, which handed out free T-shirts in Copenhagen featuring the above motto -- along with a photo of a soup line during the Great Depression. And finally, overheard at newsbusters.org: "Climate scientists today said 2000 to 2009 is the warmest decade on record ... And they have the manipulated data to prove it!" |
| Posted by:Fred |