BOBTOWN (KDKA) A small community in Greene County is embroiled in controversy after local officials decided to ban trick-or-treating this year. "Nope. Nope. Can't do it. Too dangerous."
Instead, Bobtown will hold a four-hour Halloween party.
"And we're gonna have iced tea. In recyclable paper cups."
Supervisors in Dunkard Township say they are taking the steps for safety reasons.
"We haven't lost any children to trick or treating yet, but y'never know. Better safe than sorry."
The party will be held at the Bobtown-Dunkard Volunteer Fire Station, but not everyone is pleased with the idea. "When they try to take away trick-or-treating for our children, we have to step up and fight back," Parent Michael Skumlien told KDKA-TV.
Maybe you should suggest the supervisors try bobbing for French fries?
"I think they're taking all the fun from our kids. This is a small town and our children need something," Freda Menear, a Bobtown grandparent, said.
Oh, yasss. Small towns are the worst!
Hannah, a student at Bobtown Elementary School, said all the kids she knew have been talking about it and are disappointed by the supervisors' decision.
"Wotta bunch of maroons!" the 9-year-old said...
Bob Huggins, a Dunkard Township supervisor, said many local residents agree with town officials that it would be better for local youngsters not to be going door-to-door.
"Precisely how many of them?"
"Oh, ever so many!"
With a party at the fire hall, he says both the kids and the candy they receive would be safe.
Bored, but safe.
Assistant Dunkard Fire Chief David Pritchard, running unopposed for supervisor in the election, said he was surprised by all the negative reaction to the decision to ban trick-or-treating.
Maybe it's a good thing. Nobody stopped Assistant Fire Chief Pritchard from trick or treating when he was a child and look at what an anus he grew up to be.
He says there's been a lot of break-ins lately and that older people in Bobtown were scared.
"Aye, that's right, sonny! Us old farts are skeert some 4-year-old in a princess costume's gonna break into the house and steal all our drugs!"
According to Pritchard, the township was trying to keep everyone safe.
Bored to death, but safe.