A BBC programme is to feature a call for the age of consent to be lowered."Younger than seven, next thing to heaven!"
Law professor John Spencer will argue that the current age of consent, fixed at 16, criminalises 'half the population'.
That'd be the half the population that's over the age of consent that wants to get into the drawers of the half of the population that's under age of consent? I hadn't realized the division was quite that 50-50.
His controversial views will be debated on the BBC Radio 4 programme Iconoclasts tomorrow evening.
Doesn't even matter if they're close relatives with birth control, does it?
In a preview of the live programme, BBC programme makers said that the Cambridge academic will argue that it should be 'legal for young teenagers to have sex.
"How young?"
"Well, we usually like to wait until they're outta diapers..."
He says the age of consent, fixed at 16 by the Sexual Offences Act 2003, makes criminals of half the population'.
Lotsa societies don't have an age of consent. They're the ones where everybody wants to live, aren't they?
Last night MPs said it was 'ludicrous' to consider lowering the age of consent at a time when teenage pregnancy rates are still soaring.
"It ain't the pregners whut bothers us! It's the jail time!"
The latest figures show that 42,900 under-18s and 8,200 under16s became pregnant in England and Wales in 2007, with most of the pregnancies ending in abortion. The Government's controversial teenage pregnancy strategy, which has cost taxpayers more than £300million, was meant to halve the number of conceptions among girls under 18 in England between 1998 and 2010, but teenage pregnancy rates are now higher than they were in 1995.
Ending pregnancies doesn't cut the number of conceptions. Y'gotta look around for some cause that's related to the effect. Now, what could it be? Of course! If you just let more dirty old men diddle them whilst they're still maidens that'll surely cut the number of conceptions! Stands to reason!
Professor Spencer, who will set out his views before being challenged by a panel of experts, was unavailable last night.
Had a date with a hot 12-year-old?
But he has previously argued that the current laws surrounding the age of consent are 'deeply unsatisfactory'.
"Yasss. There's a 10-year-old lives on my block. She's a tasty lass, but in a year or two she'll be past her prime..."
He is expected to argue that laws are heavy-handed and unenforceable with severe penalties for 'minor offences'.
If she's a child she can't give consent. That makes it rape, if only statutory. Rape used to be a capital offense. A bit heavy-handed, I'll admit, but it did cause the lechers to wait until the girlies at least grew bosoms in most cases, and it thinned the herd of the ones that couldn't wait..
Tory MP David Davies said: 'It is vital that the law protects vulnerable young people from exploitation by adults.
You'd think that was what the law was all about unless you were a professor or a lawyer.
'There are already far too many young people having underage sex and we have a terrible record for teenage pregnancies.'
Perhaps we as a society should do something about it other than make it easier for olde farts to legally grope the little things?
Fellow Conservative MP Ann Widdecombe said: 'The proposition that the age of consent should be lowered is absolutely appalling. The situation is bad enough at the moment with high rates of teenage pregnancies and sexual diseases.
"Yeah, but it's so much easier to get them into the bunk when they haven't heard it all before..."
'I don't detect a great deal of public support for this. If there was, I would argue that it should be debated. I can only assume the BBC is trying to create the debate.'
Only because the populace doesn't regularly descend on BBC offices with torches and pitchforks...
Senior police officers have also sparked controversy by calling for the age of consent to be reduced to as young as 13. Two years ago, Chief Superintendent Clive Murray argued that the law does not distinguish between sexual abuse and 'youthful natural instinct'.
Perhaps it should? How hard is it to conceive of a law that recognizes that young 'uns occasionally play doctor or even hide the baloney but that prescribes the gallows for Chester the Molester? Perhaps if there was a government worth the powder it'd take to blow it away it would? Guy Fawkes to the White Courtesy Phone!
In 2006 Terry Grange, former chief constable of Dyfed-Powys Police, claimed that men as old as 30 who have sex with underage girls should not necessarily be classed as paedophiles.
Sounds like the former Chief Constable was having a hard time with the concept of Look but Don't Touch as he walked his former beat.
European countries including Austria, Bulgaria and Croatia set the age of consent at 14. It is 13 in Spain.
And what higher goal could the Land of Hope and Glory aspire to than to be just like Bulgaria and Spain?
A BBC spokesman defended the decision to broadcast Professor Spencer's views and insisted the topic would be dealt with in a 'sensitive manner'.
"... so then I grabs her little bubbies an' I sez..."
He said: 'Iconoclasts is a live discussion programme, in which a controversial viewpoint from an individual who has professional credibility in his or her field is discussed, explored in detail and robustly challenged by panellists. 'The programme does not advocate the issue, but is a platform for an individual viewpoint and a starting point for serious debate.'
Then why's the live audience relieved of its rotted fruit and dog turds before being allowed to take its seats?