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| -Signs, Portents, and the Weather- | |
| Protect yourself from swine flu with the ultimate body cleanse! | |
| 2009-04-29 | |
The swine flu is very unfortunately upon us, and if you're like many, you're asking yourself what you can do to protect yourself and your loved ones. Some very standard things apply: 1) Stay home as much as possible. | |
| Posted by:Steve White |
| #20 The stuff must not work - the Lefties are still full of sh*t. |
| Posted by: Barbara Skolaut 2009-04-29 19:02 |
| #19 On the old SNL they had a skit about "Fiber" introducing a new Cereal 2X4, they ran a 2X4 through a wood chipper and advertised it as NO SUGAR, HIGH FIBER, ALL NATURAL, ETC same crap you hear on TV. |
| Posted by: Redneck Jim 2009-04-29 18:50 |
| #18 Methinks this woman has "issues"... |
| Posted by: tu3031 2009-04-29 16:26 |
| #17 Also available, Mega Colon Blow. |
| Posted by: swksvolFF 2009-04-29 16:21 |
| #16 Just wait until you turn 50 and your doctor recommends a colonoscopy. They'll have you clean as a whistle in no time. QFT. Not a fun afternoon. |
| Posted by: Grenter, Protector of the Geats 2009-04-29 14:59 |
| #15 I DO know this, that "Stored Waste" is still having nutrients extracted right up to expelling, Purge prematurely and you cost the body nutrients, sounds like something a chronic dieter would do.(Along with "Finger down the throat" Vomiting. |
| Posted by: Redneck Jim 2009-04-29 14:45 |
| #14 This one is easy. Just wait until you turn 50 and your doctor recommends a colonoscopy. They'll have you clean as a whistle in no time. |
| Posted by: Ebbang Uluque6305 2009-04-29 13:50 |
| #13 Some toddlers never pass the anal (expulsive) stage. They grow up to write for the HuffPo. |
| Posted by: ed 2009-04-29 13:03 |
| #12 Most estimates are that the average Which explains a lot. As we write at the 'burg, fixed it for you. Remember most lefties don't consider independents, libertarians, or trunks 'average' or a person for that matter. |
| Posted by: Procopius2k 2009-04-29 12:38 |
| #11 I brew my own beer. If you want a cleansing I highly recomend a bottle of my green beer with the active yeast and some honey. Trust me, you will empty the colon. |
| Posted by: BrerRabbit 2009-04-29 12:19 |
| #10 I have just one question..... Does this cleaning operation involve a fire hose or a flame thrower? If so can I watch? |
| Posted by: AlanC 2009-04-29 11:59 |
| #9 For those tracking this thread, be sure to check out the Google ads to the right of the screen, full of all sorts of useful ways to run a bore brush through your GI tract. |
| Posted by: Anonymoose 2009-04-29 10:26 |
| #8 Bird flu has one symptom that differs from swine flu. With bird flu you have a strong desire to crap on your neighbors clean car and windows. With swine flu, its the desire to roll around in the mud squealing. |
| Posted by: Lftbhndagn 2009-04-29 09:55 |
| #7 Whahahahha... "guess AGAIN!" |
| Posted by: Besoeker 2009-04-29 09:14 |
| #6 I'll have to try those, Besoeker, when my local store is out of Colon Blow. |
| Posted by: Cornsilk Blondie 2009-04-29 09:09 |
| #5 And some people have three pounds of unused waste stored between their ears. LOL - Contender for Snark of the Day. |
| Posted by: CrazyFool 2009-04-29 08:15 |
| #4 Most estimates are that the average person has ten or more pounds of stored waste just in their colon That's why we use and highly recommend Besoeker's own Go-Lightly cleansing bars. Get that super lean, anorxic, Hollywood look. You'll be back in Spandex in no time. You are what you eat! Don't be a Swine! Get Besoeker's Go-Lightly bars today. |
| Posted by: Besoeker 2009-04-29 07:44 |
| #3 I would just like to know exactly what 1918 flu vaccine she's talking about, since if memory serves me correctly, there wasn't ANY flu vaccine until after WW2. (Although, I have no doubt that many readers of the Puffington Host have way more than 10 lbs of festering waste in their bodies.....she may be right on that.....) |
| Posted by: Cornsilk Blondie 2009-04-29 07:32 |
| #2 Most estimates are that the average person has ten or more pounds of stored waste just in their colon And some people have three pounds of unused waste stored between their ears. |
| Posted by: gorb 2009-04-29 02:54 |
| #1 Do we cleanse first and then realign our chakras? Or the other way 'round? I keep forgetting. On a more serious note, I'm a bit freaked out by all the attention these types pay to vague and ominous "toxins" in the system, and the fixation with pooping. Poop poop poop. Dude, we all poop. Currently there's a teevee ad that is a real head-scratcher. It's for some sort of intestinal tonic that features an animated colon being invaded by apparently un-named and unknowable "unwanted substances", played by icky green balls that implant themselves in divots in the walls of your Barney-purple intestine. Then the happy yellow glowing Balls o' Health sweep in and fill the holes and keep the icky green balls at bay...I guess the icky green balls get flushed into the reservoir so they can pester your neighbor's pooper. "Unwanted substances." Feh. |
| Posted by: Seafarious 2009-04-29 00:30 |